Romance Meets Life |
- Slapped in Public, Chased Out in a Torn Nightie - Estella Ogbonna Shares DV Story
- Jim Iyke Writes Tribute For His Mother Who Passed Away Last Month
- Family Time - Julius Agwu Shows off Birthday Cake From His Children
- Can A Typically Traditional Nigerian Man Make A Good Husband?
- President Goodluck Jonathan Not Celebrating Nigeria Being Africa's Biggest Economy
- The American Psychiatric Association Classes Selfies as a Mental Disorder #Hoax
- Ten Ways to Insult Other Road Users in Lagos by Funmi Adeniran
| Slapped in Public, Chased Out in a Torn Nightie - Estella Ogbonna Shares DV Story Posted: 08 Apr 2014 05:40 PM PDT  Nigerian fashion designer, Estella Ogbonna opened up on her experience of domestic violence and abuse in a marriage that lasted only 8 months and how she got the courage to walk away. She shares her story as a way to encourage other women in similar situations to know it is possible to live again after an abusive marriage or relationship. She writes;  17 months ago, I quietly walked away from an abusive marriage after just 8 months that felt like my whole lifetime!        |
| Jim Iyke Writes Tribute For His Mother Who Passed Away Last Month Posted: 08 Apr 2014 01:22 PM PDT  Jim Iyke shared a tribute to his mother in a press statement announcing her death. According to the release, "Mrs Ngozi Gladys Okelue Esomugha, was born on May 3, 1947, and succumbed to a long battle with illness on Monday, March 24, 2014. Jim Iyke's tribute follows; "My mum was a force of nature. She was my big sister, my first wife, my confidant, my rock, my critique, my greatest fan and regal leader. May her soul rest in peace.     |
| Family Time - Julius Agwu Shows off Birthday Cake From His Children Posted: 08 Apr 2014 06:12 AM PDT |
| Can A Typically Traditional Nigerian Man Make A Good Husband? Posted: 08 Apr 2014 06:43 AM PDT  We all agree Naija guys are fine, right? Some are real dream boats, tall, dark and handsome, the stuff my romance novels are made off. And they can be quite generous if they have the means and can get their way. And that's the big but if you're an educated and liberated woman who wants to find someone to love you for you, and to get married. Some husbands can get downright mean when they feel they're not getting their way from their wives. Some of the stories out there are scary. Even non-liberated Nigerian women, who simply are educated and want to use their brain a little after marriage are emotionally or physically battered by their ego-driven men. These Nigerian husbands though educated, want to live worse than their great grandfathers when it comes to the culture of how women are treated as wives, and in the society in general. And how is this? With no respect and no freedom to expand their minds or make their own decisions, and certainly getting no respect from their men. There are some great stories, of course. But one refrain stands out which I want to question today. A lot of women who are happily married to Nigerian men often echo each other when they say, "he's not a typical Nigerian man". It is either the man was born and raised abroad, travels outside the country a lot, or he likes marching to his own drum which includes loving his wife and being her friend as opposed to the culturally accepted lord/master-foreman/slave relationship in most traditional marriages. But is this really our culture? What stops a Nigerian man true to his culture from making a good - loving, understanding and respectful - husband? What is sure is that one thing has to give -- either the culture in the man has to make way, or the woman has to subserve herself completely, in some cases accepting disrespect, including private and public insults, domestic violence, or what our laws call correctful capital punishment, and rampant infidelity. Charly boy and his wife granted an interview recently and in her advice to young couples, Diana said, I think they have to first get it right from the start. I think dating is very important. You need to know what you want to get yourself into. For women, it is not because the clock is ticking and for men, it is not about what you have. But you need to know the person you want to spend your life with before you commit yourself. We make mistakes but people have to be careful. One of the things that work for me and my husband is that he is not a typically and culturally Nigerian man, maybe it is because of his exposure. In mulling over Diane Oputa's comments, I came across this post on Stella Dimorkorkus Blog. The marriage of a Nigerian couple, both from well known families in Lagos is experiencing problems, and there are allegations of male infidelity, domestic violence, and what have you. The comments got interesting and I found a few to seemed to buttress what Diane said. Sorry to see their marriage crumble but to be sincere with you, most men from the Western part of Nigeria DO NOT make good husbands. They are good for boyfriend relationships but if they say marriage..my friend PICK RACE O! The sad part is that they spend sooo much on these weddings. Money that could have been used to buy 4 or 5 properties somewhere (smh). Marriage is not determined by how much that is spent on the wedding day o. Ladies be warned. I would rather have a "local" wedding as they usually call our weddings and enjoy my marriage, then have wedding in Dubai and be a divorcee in 3 months time. Are these ladies just making generalizations? Let's find out. I'm throwing the question open - Can A Typically Traditional Nigerian Man Make A Good Husband? Or should any liberated woman who wants to get married be prepared for the effort and time to find a non-typical Nigerian man or a non-Nigerian man kpa kpa. Or should they just be ready to submit, and I mean SUB-MIT. Let's discuss and vote below... Please share so your friends can vote too.     |
| President Goodluck Jonathan Not Celebrating Nigeria Being Africa's Biggest Economy Posted: 08 Apr 2014 05:03 AM PDT  Ngozi Okonjo Iweala, Nigeria's finance minister and some other top officials came out yesterday to reveal that Nigeria is now the biggest economy in Africa. As far as I was concerned, that is news for the birds as long as more than half of Nigerian still live in poverty, and even the middle class have to provide their own water and electricity. I'm glad that President Goodluck Jonathan is not dancing all over the place with the news. He shared the following on his official Facebook page; Yesterday, our Gross Domestic Product was rebased to give an accurate picture of where we are as a nation. I am glad to report to you that Nigeria is officially the largest economy in Africa with a Gross Domestic Product of $510 billion which also places us as the 26th largest economy in the world.     |
| The American Psychiatric Association Classes Selfies as a Mental Disorder #Hoax Posted: 08 Apr 2014 04:06 AM PDT  I got into the habit of Selfies when I began using a Samsung S3 which has the reversible camera. And since then, I usually take a selfie at least once a week, though I don't share most of them on social media. Now, I was with my family most of last week and when one my sisters saw me taking pictures of myself, she asked if that was what a selfie was, and did I know it was now a mental problem? Of course I was shocked, I'd never heard of selfies being a mental health issue and I'm the news maven. This week, I decided to educate myself, and indeed, selfies had made headlines at the end of March for being classed by the American Psychiatric Association (APA) as a Mental Disorder. A little digging however shows the news originated from a hoax site which says; The disorder is called selfitis, and is defined as the obsessive compulsive desire to take photos of one's self and post them on social media as a way to make up for the lack of self-esteem and to fill a gap in intimacy. This may be a hoax, but I see elements of reality in it. Based on their rankings, I do not have selfitis, though maybe one of my sisters has borderline selfitis. Do you think taking selfies and posting on social media is indicative of one's mental health and self esteem issues? Do you take selfies, and do you post the pictures on social media? How many times, do you have selfitis, and at which ranking? LOL...     |
| Ten Ways to Insult Other Road Users in Lagos by Funmi Adeniran Posted: 08 Apr 2014 01:09 AM PDT  Driving on Lagos roads can give you a headache. Horns are blaring as cars whizz by, dilapidated trucks are emitting strong green house gases from rusty exhaust pipes, and people are shouting curse words at one another. Occasionally, some people are raising the middle finger. Throw in a hold up of unknown origin and you have a literal stampede across the streets of the largest metropolitan city in West Africa. Driving in Lagos is a test of will and fortitude and at least fifteen million people living in Lagos, do it daily. It's hard to drive with decorum amidst the many annoying road huggers and rude high-way code illiterates. It's especially difficult because the decrepit roads we travel daily are punctuated with holes and pits that wait to ensnare one. But it is possible to do this if we can avoid the following insults to other road users. It's insulting to be blamed for an accident that was not actually your fault. It's even more insulting when someone hits you or nearly causes an accident and doesn't even stop or show a gesture of apology. It's worse when a driver hits you, stops, gets out of the car and can't even open his mouth to make an apology. It's either our morals have finally hit rock bottom, or some people are just plain slow. Avoiding road rage is what a lot of Lagosians need to burn into the bank of their memories. No human being, no matter how wrong he is, deserves to be told in sign language that 'His or Her head is not correct' or that 'Their mother is mad'. It is not right to insult anyone because no one is perfect and we all make mistakes on the road. No human being deserves to be screamed at or abused at on the road. It is wrong to feel that everyone queuing on the line is not nearly as smart as you are, and so therefore you cut out of the line and drive further down creating an extra illegal lane. Even worse, is the driver who heads in the opposite direction to oncoming vehicles in the bid to jump the queue. No wonder the state government needed traffic offenders taking psych evaluation tests at one point in time. It is insulting to horn behind a car in front of you, and ask them to get out of your way. The courteous thing to do is to overtake a slow driver. It's just as bad to horn behind a car in front of you, when there is an obvious hold up ahead or the traffic light is still on amber. Even a nursery school child knows that amber means get ready, and not go. It's insulting to know that a driver needs to get out of another lane, is trafficating, and you push your car forwards and block the space. Do let another driver into your lane even if you think they do not deserve it. Extend grace to other people because one day, you will need someone to return that favor to you. Be civil enough not to drive your vehicle into the gap in the lane so that vehicles driving perpendicular to you and going in another direction can come out of the compound, street or a filling station that they are in and go on their own way. Especially if the line of vehicles ahead of you are at a stand-still. Be patient enough to let the person buying fuel in front of you, shut his fuel tank, receive the extra change with the petrol attendant, start his/her car and put on the seat belt before you start honking in an annoying way. It's rude and unfeeling. It's insulting to stop in the middle of a narrow road of two lanes to drop off a passenger or buy something from a road side seller. The appropriate thing to do is to park to the side and let the cars behind you pass on unhindered. It is insulting to think because you drive a larger vehicle than most people, you have the right to hug the road especially when coming in the opposite direction. Other vehicles must respect your car enough to scoot to the side or nearly fall into a ditch because of you. It's wrong. It is insulting to insult anyone via words or hand gestures for any reason be it a wrong driving move or an accident. No human is perfect, and we do not measure up to the standards we often judge others by. Let your words be seasoned with grace and respect, even if the other guy is at fault. In, conclusion, I will say that life is difficult enough without us making it worse for each other. Many drive on our roads worried, anxious, distressed and confused about one aspect or the other of their physical, social and emotional lives, and with the economy in the shape that it's in, it doesn't hurt to show a little respect to them on the road. Do drive with decorum. Decide to be civil on the road. You never know if your civil gesture, will brighten up someone's dark dreary day or prevent an accident. Stay safe, and save a life in the process. __________ Check out Fumni's profile page on Naija Stories - http://www.naijastories.com/members/funpen Read my writing on http://www.naijastories.com/author/funpen     |
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