Romance Meets Life

Ugochi Jolomi's Marriage Avowals - Both Should Be Determined to Make it Work
Baby Mi Da - Victor Olaiya Ft 2Face Idibia
Proposal or Date Idea - The Top of the Empire State Building
Short Story : Love's Pain - Part 3
Parents Have To Be Careful What They Say To Their Kids
Magazine Covers - Juliet Ibrahim on House of MaliQ

Ugochi Jolomi's Marriage Avowals - Both Should Be Determined to Make it Work

Posted: 05 Jul 2013 09:09 PM PDT

Ugochi runs the inspirational website, Teshuva, where she writes about marriage and family life. She shares some stories from her past and life changing moments, and she challenges everyone to live a better life in God. In today's marriage avowals, Ugochi and her husband discuss how they met and their over 10 years of marriage.

How did you meet your husband?
I met my husband in church while I was in Bible school.

How long have you been married?
We have been married for 12 years now, September 2nd will make it 13 years.

How did your husband propose?
He called me out after my class had a meeting with our General Overseer and asked me to see him.
I was very apprehensive as I did not like seeing pastors, it used to really scare me. Any way I went and after he had quizzed me on my spirituality, he made a sudden drift to say that he liked me and would like to marry me if I agreed. He gave me two weeks to make up my mind and can you imagine? I fell for him. No wooing, no romance and I fell. I often wonder how such a romantic could fall for a so non-romantic proposal. It must be God, because I had a peace I had never had before. Three other ministers had proposed to me and it was all a no – no for me.

What do you think is the "key" to a successful relationship and marriage?
Hmn… There are so many keys, but I believe they are all wrapped up in one; love, the God kind of love. In love you find kindness, patience, respect, meekness and all those other qualities and ingredients to hold up a marriage and make it blissful.

As a Christian I believe that God is love and once a couple have the God kind of love in their hearts and homes then God is present in their marriage and anything God is allowed to be actively involved in cannot fail.

What is your favorite part about being married to your husband?
My favourite part is the knowing that he loves God and seeks to please Him all the time. This is evident in how he treats our marriage, our family and me. And this gives me the assurance that I can trust my heart to him.

What is the hardest part about being married?
The hardest part for me would be the responsibility saddled on me as a wife and a mother. The planning – especially the metal planning and running of the home. I always have to mentally run through tomorrow every night. And all of this is quite tasking.

Do you have children?
Yes I do, I have three boys – Joshua, Joseph and Josiah. They and their dad help me not to worry about getting fat, they keep me very active.

Children are one source of joy that I pray every person gets to experience. But it turns things around somewhat in the home.

How has this affected your marriage?
My husband and the children love to "have fun", this fun leaves the house all messed up and this gets me cranky and not very nice. But I am getting used to joining in the fun or leaving the house messed so I can have be at peace and give them peace too.

Has there been a particular challenge you faced as a couple?
Several I must admit, but with God at the centre and with our willingness to make it work we have always overcome.
There is one that stands our amongst them. We were just about a year and half into the marriage and I was at home all day. I had dinner ready and was waiting for my husband to get home so we could eat together. While I was in the bathroom he came in and came to the bathroom to say hello and next thing I heard was the clangs of plates and cutlery. He was already eating! Right there in the bathroom I was so sure the marriage was over because I did not understand how he could be so insensitive, to eat without me when I had been waiting all evening for him. As I stepped into the room I took off my ring and slammed it on the table and went outside in that dead night to the welcoming arms of mosquitoes. He could not understand why I was so angry. He had come out severally to take me in but I was bent on staying out till morning. The Mosquitoes caused a change of mind and as I got in I finally told him why I was so angry. He patiently brought a whole different perspective to it, He reminded me that he had not had breakfast or lunch and was extremely hungry. Meanwhile I had been home, have had breakfast and lunch. By the time he was through I realised I was the insensitive one.

What do you do to keep the marriage relationship fresh and positive?
We get a lot of time together and we get to know what is going on with each other. We also try to do a lot of talking to and with each other and this help us a lot. We also keep reminding ourselves that we are both responsible for how our marriage is at every point in time and we bear our responsibilities to make it work.

What is your advice to those dating or young couples?
This may sound like a cliché but it is true that the foundation and pillar of marriage is GOD, He joined the first man and woman. Once the relationship is GOD centred and both spouses are determined to make it work then their chances of succeeding in marriage are at a very comfortable height.

Baby Mi Da - Victor Olaiya Ft 2Face Idibia

Posted: 05 Jul 2013 08:08 AM PDT

Some months ago, we saw the still photos off the set of the music video, and now it is here. Lovely video by Kunle Afolayan and sweet lyrics :)

Proposal or Date Idea - The Top of the Empire State Building

Posted: 05 Jul 2013 05:09 AM PDT

One of the things I always knew I would try if I ever made it to New York was to get to the top of the Empire State Building. It's one of the tallest buildings in the world, it's wonderfully designed, and a favorite of Hollywood. I didn't know I would be visiting it with someone, and when that someone was Atala, our visit has one of the best highlights of our years and travels together.

Why did I remember this? I first recalled our visit while we watched Oblivion with Tom Cruise, where he had proposed to his movie love interest at the top of the Empire State Building. Again, we watched Extreme Makeover - Weight Loss Edition yesterday, and a couple trying to get to their goal weights travelled to New York and the husband proposed to his wife again. Both times, it was so beautiful and romantic.

When Atala and I went, there was no proposals or anything, but it was sweet and touching. Why? Because Atala is usually not a fan of heights but he overlooked that and did it because I really really wanted to.

The observation deck is over 86 stories high. I knew what to expect but still it felt like my tummy was still on the ground while the rest of my body was halfway up, and then it was falling the rest of the way up. At the top, we were nearly a quarter mile above the ground!

We felt giddy to be up there. It was my first time going, and both our first times going with a romantic partner. The views were more than amazing, and we got to look through those iconic binoculars. Talk about a date that will surely be never forgotten.

So if you ever get the chance to visit New York, make sure to put the Empire State Building on your itinery. If you're a guy going with your girlfriend, it may not be a bad idea to make a proposal out of it. Thank me later :)

Short Story : Love's Pain - Part 3

Posted: 05 Jul 2013 03:03 AM PDT

I quickly run out of the kitchen towards the front door with Lolu right behind me and with Fola leading us to where his sister was. I tried to think of what I should have grabbed from the house depending on what happened to her but my mind was too occupied worrying about the safety of my child. Quick glances up the street and I see her bike sprawled on the floor, next to where she was sitting cry.

"Tunmi, what happened? Are you hurt?" I scream as I am still running towards her.

"Daddy!" She looks up, picks herself up and runs towards Lolu still crying. I think my heart bled a little bit because I was so jealous that she ran towards him and gave me and my outstretched hands a nice ela.

"Baby, what happened? Are you bleeding?" Joju had picked her up and was now carrying her back to the house and I was left pushing a bike that seemed to have lost its bar handles.

Upon getting the house, we found a huge gash in her hand and quickly drive up to the hospital to get it checked out. While she was being examined by the doctor, one of us was asked to leave because the ER rooms were too tiny to hold 4 adults and since Tunmi was firmly holding on to her dad, I could help but feel that pang of jealousy again as I exited the room.

I wasn't sure if it was just me or if a parent actually got jealous of the other parent who was being favored by a child. I couldn't even discuss it with Joju because I was pretty sure he would just laugh it off. Twenty minutes later, they walk out of the room together holding hands with the doctor behind them.

"Is everything ok?" I asked.

"Yes mummy, I got 4 stiches" she was still examining the cut and stiches; I look up at Lolu and gave him that are we ready to go home look.

"Babe can you please drive, I want to stay in the back with her so she can fall asleep hopefully before we get home."

"Sure", I said with a smile, grabbed the keys and slid into the driver's seat.

After this whole situation, I guess my attitude must have changed because Joju came up to my side while I was doing the dishes and said "lighten up babe, she's fine."

"What, I'm ok oh, I was just worried that's all."

"I know you were, I was too but she's fine, she just needed 4 stiches so it's not that bad."

"I know, I'm just like what if it was worse" I turn to look at him with my huge sad eyes and he plants a kiss on my lips "it's not worse, she is fine Joju".

The hotel room I got upgraded to was beautiful, it was just as big as the condo Lolu and I had shared in our first year of marriage. My whole trip here was amazing, as much as I love my two boys; I needed time off from being anyone but just Joju. I had hired a nanny that would watch them for the week I was gone since Lolu had a deadline that week at work. One whole week away from the constant running, jumping, scratching to be traded for early mornings of work but evenings with spas, wine and tropical drinks, not bad Joju, not bad.

I had called Lolu's phone twice and texted once to let him know I had landed but I figured it was Sunday night, he was probably trying to get the boys ready to sleep.

I unpacked and hung all my suits, arranged my toiletries in the bathroom and jumped into bed to respond to personal emails I had been putting off for about a week.

A knock on the door startled me until I heard "room service". I walked up to the door, opened it and said politely "I didn't order anything, you must have the wrong room."

"Ma'am, my name is Nava, I have been assigned to your room, if you need anything just call the front desk and ask for me."

"Oh, thank you."

"Do you have anything to be ironed or steamed?" she was saying when I saw him for the first time turning the key for the suite right opposite mine.

I finished washing the dishes, packed their lunches and headed to bed, it was already 11:30pm which means I could either go straight to bed or try to finish up the work I had planned to do that night. The first decision seemed more appropriate considering the day and night I had so as I crawled into bed with Lolu that night, I couldn't help but be thankful to God that everyone was alright, for now.

_____________

Hi, I'm Moriam. I'm curious and I love cooking. I also like to write short stories. If you haven't check out Part one and two of Love's Pain. If you love recipes, check out my blog too.

Parents Have To Be Careful What They Say To Their Kids

Posted: 05 Jul 2013 01:05 AM PDT

By Stupendous Grace in response to Funmi's One Woman's Experience Growing Up Dark-Skinned in Nigeria

Thanks Funmi for this; very true.

However, the truth is that the issues extend beyond just skin colour and weight. I was dark skinned, skinny and quite tall growing up ( I still am). The comments I heard from neighbours and teachers almost eroded my self esteem. They made me want to slouch every chance I got because I was ashamed to stand tall and be noticed.

However, i guess if i didnt like how tall I was, i could not do anything about it. Bleaching was to dark skin what 'hiding away' was to being lankily tall. Thanks to my parents and aunts who were also tall and quickly noticed how I seemed to always want to hide,and took it upon themselves to affirm me, with time I 'chose' not to let those get to me.

Recently, I heard a young girl aged 7 say to a 6 year old girl who was quite chubby 'I despise your fatness'. Where did she get such an idea from?

I perfectly agree that we need to be careful what we say to our kids and other kids and what we expose them to. Truth is that the streotypes exist all over the media and our balance comes from filtering out what they hear and believe.

Comparing two sisters and saying one is prettier than the other when both young girls are right there may not be a good idea. It is okay to have the opinion, but to disregard the girl's feelings and say it simply because one can, I do not consider okay. The tactless statements people made to me jokingly oftentimes as a child about being tall and skinny hurt and I still remember, although I'm glad that I rose above them.

________

Check out StupendousGrace's blog