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Saturday, July 19, 2014

Romance Meets Life

Romance Meets Life


Gabrielle Union And Dwayne Wade To Wed August 30, Ask Guests Not To Bring Phones And Cameras

Posted: 19 Jul 2014 09:12 PM PDT


Dwyane Wade and Gabrielle Union are all set to tie the knot at a mystery location in Miami on August 30th. The invitations are out and in it, the couple are warning their wedding guests not to bring along cameras or phones.

TMZ reports that the famous couple has just sent out their wedding invitations (made of wood btw) ... inviting close friends and family members to "Put on your dancing shoes and join us for a THROW DOWN."

Guests have been instructed to meet up at a famous hotel -- where they will be transported to the wedding site.

But the interesting part of the invitation states, "for the comfort of our guests and to protect our privacy, no cameras or cell phones will be permitted at the party."






Pregnant Uche Jombo Out And About In New York

Posted: 19 Jul 2014 06:00 PM PDT


Uche Jombo is currently in the US with her husband as she prepares for baby. She shared these new pictures of her out and about and spending fun times with friends and family.

Above is a picture at her sister-in-law's baby shower, where Uche is looking really pretty. See another pic below...


Celeb InstaFashion - Annie Idibia Shows Off Long Legs For Ascencion Album Launch

Posted: 19 Jul 2014 05:13 PM PDT


Annie Idibia turnt up for her husband, 2face Idibia's album launch in  black leather outfit. The miniskirt showed off her toned legs while the cropped top bared her flat tummy.



Father Brutally Beats Up The Man He Found Molesting His 11-Year Old Son Before Calling 911

Posted: 19 Jul 2014 01:04 PM PDT


A Florida dad has beaten an 18-year old boy he found performing a sex act on his 11-year old son to a pulp and then calls 911 to send an ambulance, because he really needs one.

The man told the 911 dispatcher that he had beaten Raymond Frolander (pictured), who he found abusing his son at their Florida home, into a 'bloody puddle'. He added: 'He stood up and his pants were around his ankles and nothing else needed to be said. I did whatever I got a right to do except I didn't kill him.'


Police arrived at his home and found Frolander, lying unconscious on the floor, before he was rushed to the hospital.

The father was not charged in the suspect's beating, after Frolander admitted the abuse. But the teen was charged with sexual battery on a child under 12 and is being held without bail.

Fela Kuti's Ex-Wife Reveals Shocking Details About Kalakuta and Their Mass Marriage [Video]

Posted: 19 Jul 2014 12:30 PM PDT


Laide Anikulapo-Kuti, Nee Babayale, was one of the 27 wives that the late Afrobeat legend, Fela Anikulapo-Kuti, married in a mass ceremony.

The woman has been talking to the press and reveals new details, some of them very shocking about the late Abami-Eda, and life in Kalakuta between the seventies and eighties.

Supposedly, Dr. Keti Ransome Kuti was procuring abortions for the many woman of Fela when he got tired of having children, and the African mediticine he took to render him sterile failed. I wonder if there were no condoms then, or maybe Fela is not the type to use condoms.

See excerpts below:


How did you meet Fela?

I met Fela at a Sunday Jump in 1974. The shrine was opposite my house and some of my friends were selling things in front of the place, and we were just there doing our own thing, while Baba was inside doing his own thing as usual. It was the boys that made us know him well. They came to buy cigarettes from my friends, and wanted to take candy sweets for free, and I was a kind of person that would never allow anybody take me or the people around me for a ride.

I protested, and the next thing I knew, was that a hot slap landed on the cheek of my friend selling the goods, and that's how we started fighting, that Fela had to come out. We narrated what happened to him, so Fela took the boy that slapped my friend inside and punished him. After that, Fela sent one of his drivers to me that if I'm chanced, I should come and see him.

Initially, I didn't want to go in, because my people must not see me in that kind of environment. I was 16 years old as at then but I had a big stature. When I got in, Fela said I should follow any of the cars to his house, but I didn't go. That was how I knew Fela liked me, and I liked him too, so every Sunday jump, I was always going there, well-dressed. Whenever he was going in, he always looked in our direction. However, to cut the long story short, we eventually began dating.

What was your parent's reaction when they knew you were in Kalakuta?

It was a tug-of war. My father never wanted it, because he thought people who were around Fela were hooligans, but it was a lie. Anybody who was a hooligan then was either a passer-by, or just a shrine-goer, and not part of Fela's inner caucus, because Fela never wanted trouble from any of his people. Fela fought with his music, but when people heard the lyrics of his songs, they thought he was a hooligan, which he was not. I was actually on break from school for two weeks when I decided to go and spend some time with Fela, but when I got there, I really enjoyed myself and didn't want to go back to school again though I was in Form Four then.

My parents went looking for me in school, but the Reverend mothers and sisters there then said they didn't know my whereabouts even though all my properties were still in the hostel. They began searching everywhere, but they never thought I could be in Fela's place. It was actually Fela's friend, who happened to be my in-law, Uncle Tayo Mott, that informed my parents that I was with Fela. He was a very close friend to Fela and was also his DJ.

What were the actions your father took?

He was always coming to harass us wherever we went. He would send boys from Shitta, Surulere, to bundle me up wherever I was, and they would carry me. My father was a prominent, well-known and outgoing person, so he knew people like King Sunny Ade, Ebenezer Obey, and IK Dairo very well, so he begged the three of them to go and plead with Fela to release his daughter. On that fateful day when they came, I was in Fela's room, and we had just finished doing our 'thing.' When Fela was informed that the three men were there to see him, he went out, and later sent for me that I should dress up and come out.

When I went out, he sat me down, and asked me if I knew the three men, and I replied in the affirmative. He asked me if I knew why they were there, and I replied that I didn't, so he told me they were there because of me. I said why, and asked them if they knew me, but Fela calmed me down, that they were sent by my father to beg me to come back home. I then told them that there was nothing happening there that they didn't know about because they were also in the music industry. I told them I was enjoying Fela's music and didn't want to go home.

Can you recollect what happened when Kalakuta Republic was invaded?

It started like a joke, but quickly escalated into war. Some traffic police officers 'Yellow Fever' came and said they wanted to see the person who drove a Range Rover that was in the compound because it had even numbers on its license plate, even though it was odd numbers. The gateman then told them that he was not in the best position to answer them, because as someone that wasn't learned, he didn't know the difference between odd and even numbers. The gateman then went inside to inform Fela, and he told them that he wasn't coming out.

The Yellow Fever officers then went and came back with some soldiers because we were very near Abati Barracks then. When Fela was informed that there were soldiers outside, he first went into his mother's room, because he never went out without seeing her. Beko was already in the clinic then, but when he saw what was going on, he also came into mama's room. Before we knew what was happening, the whole thing degenerated into chaos.

How did the issue of the mass marriage come about?

When Kalakuta Republic was invaded and we all had different injuries, mine was on my navel, and all the other women making jest of me that I would never have a baby, even though I was just about 20 years old then. I really wanted to have children because of the special treatment Fela gave his children. I then decided to look outside because Fela didn't want to have any more children then. He went to one Baba JK in Idi Oro in Mushin to make his sperm watery. He was always drinking African medicine there, and that was what neutralized his sperm. So many women were always getting pregnant for him that he was terminating about six different pregnancies per day. It was Dr. Beko Ransome-Kuti that used to terminate it then.

They're all dead now; me too, I'm going to die one day, but it's always good to put things right for the records. There was another girl then who I was close with, Adunni, so I told her that we should look for people who we would have children for. She had a baby for a taxi driver, while I had my baby for a journalist, Steve, with Punch Newspapers. He usually reported whatever activity Fela was involved in all round the world. He was the kind of person I needed at that time. There was a time we were in Ghana in Hotel Presidential, and that was the time I went in with him. Shortly after that, I started experiencing morning sickness, and when it was confirmed that I was pregnant, I was very happy.

Soon after that, Fela called me to go in with him, and I told him that I was pregnant. He said, 'What' and I repeated it. He came from the third floor to the first floor to Mama's room, and he told her, "Maami, you know what, Laide is pregnant.' Mama asked him who was responsible, and he told her he was the one to cover me up. Mama then said 'Fine' because she knew Fela liked me and I liked Fela. Mama never knew that I had intercourse with Steve, even though his room was directly opposite mama's own in Ghana. This is a true life story. I want you to bring it out and let people know.

After that time, Fela now called Steve and the press that 'these women have suffered a lot with me, so if anyone of them wants, they can marry me and be having children.' Steve said if that was what he wanted, then, no problem. So Fela put out a notebook and said that the people who want to marry him out of all the women in the shrine should put their names down. In all, we were 27 that wrote our names, and Fela told the rest that if they didn't write their names, he wouldn't sleep with them.

On the day of the wedding ceremony, Fela's best pal, Tunji Braithwaite, who was supposed to join us together, ran away from his chambers, saying that he had never seen such a thing before for a man to marry 27 women at the same time. He had thought it was a joke when Fela told him earlier. The following day, Fela called an Ifa priest and they came to join us together at Hotel Parisona in Anthony, Lagos.  Fela put money on everybody's heads and we collected our certificates of marriage to him.

Can you describe how it felt like being with him?

Fela was a true living legend. He was the one and only man that God put in our midst, but people never knew his worth until he was gone. Fela was always chewing music in his mouth whatever he was doing. Whether he was eating, driving, or with a woman in the room, he was always chewing music in his mouth with his pen and paper with him always.

He was very good at writing in short-hand; in fact he was good at everything you can ever think of. There was nothing he did wrong; except you didn't know him. He was a messiah; if we had given him a chance, Nigeria would have changed, but people like Obasanjo never gave him a chance. Whenever Fela wanted to make music, he sang about the things around him.

Talking about bedroom matters, how did Fela rotate between his numerous wives?

Fela always called his wives based on how he enjoyed them; if he did not enjoy you, he would not call you. Even after the marriage, it continued like that.


Video interview with Trumpet Media Group

Adanna and David Steinacker Get Married! First Photos From Their White Wedding

Posted: 19 Jul 2014 10:44 AM PDT


Adanna and Udo - what she calls her husband David Steinacker - have now been pronounced husband and wife in front of God and a cloud of witnesses in a church ceremony in Ireland.

The couple had earlier had both a traditional marriage and a registry wedding starting from december last year. Today is the culmination of all their vows and the young couple couldn't be happier!

See the first photos from the event shared by their friends...










8 Ways T.B. Joshua Is Completely Wrong On His Prediction Of Malaysian Airlines MH17 Crash!

Posted: 19 Jul 2014 09:51 AM PDT


TB Joshua through Emmanuel TV, the Youtube Channel of the Synagogue Church of All Nations (SCOAN), yesterday released a video where he supposedly predicts the Malaysian Airlines crash. Flight MH17 crashed in Eastern Ukraine with the almost 300 passengers and crew dead.

The video is dated February 16, 2014 and the narrator claims that TB's prophesy about Russia in the clip is actually referring to the tragic crash. TB Joshua says;

"I was telling you about Russia that you should pray for the young man, a very charismatic leader, that he should take note of his airspace. Because when I was saying I want to see where this attack is coming from…airspace.It could be in form of aircraft crash or whatever.

It could be from a place to that place or that place to that place but it will be connected to…just to rubbish the wonderful country. But now they should take care of their airspace. We too we are on our knees praying for the nation, that is, Russia. I was made to see the airspace; they should take care of the airspace. I am seeing an attack but we will continue to pray"

Let me state how wrong this prediction is, and why we should not pay attention to such quacks as TB Joshua.

1. He called it an attack, it certainly was no attack but a plane crash. Unless he meant the plane being shot down.

2. He said it would be against Russia. Certainly not. In fact, a Russian weapon either operated by Russian military or Ukraine is currently indicted for use in shooting down the plane.

3. He said it will happen in Russian airspace. No it did not. While the crash site is close to the Russian border, it is definitely within the Ukranian airspace.

4. Even if he was right about the crash, does it mean all the prayers since February had no effect? He is still a quack.

5. Why did they just release the video yesterday? Plastering a date on the clip does not verify anything

6. When will TB Joshua predict something good and in advance?

7. When will TB Joshua be more specific in his predictions?

8. When will TB Joshua repent and become Born Again?

All I can see in this so-called prophesy is a deluded half-illiterate who unfortunately has access to millions of similarly deluded and gulible people.

The Ukraine-Russia disagreement over Crimea got high profile with the involvement of America around Februaury 2014 and all this clip shows is that TB Joshua sometimes listens to international news.

The sense he makes of the news is debatable.

He speaks of Vladimir Putin as a 'young man, a very charismatic leader', and Russia as 'a wonderful country'. No guesses where his allegiances lie.

It is possible that after listening to the BBC that Sunday morning when America had been threatening Russia with so many sanctions, he came up to the podium and started yarning dust. But no, America did not attack Russia like his imaginations told him, and no one is rubbishing Russia but themselves.

TB Joshua has made many other predictions which I did not bother myself to read or take note of. But this time, I'm just annoyed!

We're talking the loss of lives of almost 300 people and someone is playing politics and religion.

Please, if you cannot show some empathy and commiserate with grieving families, just keep quiet.


Kate Henshaw Marks 43rd Birthday With Thanks and Confirms Her Wish To Serve in Politics

Posted: 19 Jul 2014 09:05 AM PDT


The ever-young looking Kate Henshaw is 43 today and believes it's time to start doing big girl things which includes giving back to her community through political service. She shared this in a message on Instagram where she thanks all her well wishers before explaining why she wants to run for office.

I totally agree with her sentiments and wish her the best of her birthday and her dreams to serve. She wrote;

With all the good wishes, prayers and salutations I have been receiving all week leading to today, I cannot but glorify the King of Kings for His grace, mercy and favour upon my life. It is not by might nor by my power..

My heart is greatly warmed and I have given into a few tears! To be alive today is a gift I do not take for granted because on the 3rd of June 2012, I may not have been here anymore!!! To Him who has absolute power over my life, I give praise.


I may not be able to respond and thank each and everyone of you for the love and support u have shown me over the years but I thank you indeed from the depth of my heart and pray for greater things in all our lives and nation, Nigeria.

My desire to serve is true but I cannot say much right now because there Is definitely a lot of work to be done on my part and firm decisions made. We must recognise and remember that change cannot come if we all sit back in the shadows complaining silently. I want to try.

We need to play our part and come out of the shadows. Let all voices be heard because one person cannot do it alone. Our strength is in our diversity. That's is all I can say for now but I will update all as things progress.

Thank you again for the overwhelming support and prayers. God bless you all and lots of love...

PSquare to Work With Jermaine Jackson Who Is In Nigeria For Their 6th Album

Posted: 19 Jul 2014 08:52 AM PDT


This is probably why Peter Okoye did not travel to Nnewi as they were expecting Jermaine Jackson, one of the iconic Jackson 5 and Micheal Jackson's older brother to arrive Nigeria.

Even if there is beef, it is only personal and their professional life remains solid, because Peter tweeted at Jude as he shared his exceitment at receiving Jermaine at Squareville after dreaming about it since he was little.

As a child this seemed like earth to Pluto dreams but alas, here we are working together... Keep your dream alive... Cc @jermjackson5 @judeengees @rudeboypsquare #6thalbum
Jermaine had promised the brothers that he would come to Nigeria and he kept to his word.

He said it and he's finally here .... #6thalbum #squareville work in progress.. Wait for it. 


Christy Essien Igbokwe’s Husband Opens Up On Their Life and His Remarriage 3 Years After Her Death

Posted: 19 Jul 2014 09:12 AM PDT


Chief Edwin Igbokwe, the husband of legendary actress and musician, Christy Essien Igbokwe, gave his wife a fitting burial following her death on June 30th 2011 and set up a memorial foundation for her [read]. He has now opened up on how they met when she was still a teenager, and were together for almost 32 years before her death.

He also revealed that she predicted the manner and time of her death and expressly asked not to be kept in the mortuary. So the family kept her in their home for 3 months before the burial, during which time he alsways hoped she would wake up.

Below is narration of their life together and her death, as well as his grief, denial and acceptance following his loss, and how he recently remarried.


Thirty five years ago, I married my soul mate and lifetime partner. She was Nigeria's lady of songs, the late Christy Essien Igbokwe. I was a 26-year-old executive at The Punch while she was a 19-year-old songstress and actress that mesmerised Nigeria's entertainment and theatre scenes with her young, affable innocence. Through those years, we celebrated togetherness and profound love, a love I felt the first time I blessed my eyes on her; a love that grew stronger each sunrise, until 9a.m, June 30, 2011.

With each day's sunset, our love blossomed, like flowers bloomed in spring. We stayed as one through the challenges of life. There were years of aches and pains, tears of joy and electrifying laughter. We stayed together and survived the rough and tumbles of life. We shared everything until it was time for her to go. She lived half a century.

"As I walked down Jebose Boulevard, I tried to accept and appreciate all that life privileged after her eternal transition. It is over three years since Christy died. The denials, the depressions, forward from her death are paths to healing. I missed and mourned her tenderly. Time and support from friends and family were therapies to a second chance at life, living and loving.

No one understands the discomfort and trauma of losing a dear family member such as your siblings, your parents or wife, a dearest lifetime partner; (the cherished one you swore before God and the people to love till death do us part), until it happened to them: We are never the same when we lose those that we loved and admired. A part of us leaves with them. Every one of us would come to that place in our lifetime; what matters is how we handled our different circumstances and who would be there to comfort us as we grieved.

The mourning season may never end. I can imagine days of guilt, days of tear drops on the pillows and silent wails for losing my dearest wife. The pain is part of passionate memories, of a privileged, shared moment in our lives. These walks with you, Jebose, ignited emotional past pains of losing my late wife and a closure of tragic and traumatic chapters of my life.

Christy was special and spectacular. She was a prophet. She revealed when she would die to the children and by extension, to me: she revealed to us that she had only half a century in this 'wicked world;' she told me that when death came, it would be middle of the year. She shared with close friends and members of the family, her end time. I always dismissed her because I was not ready to lose her. She told our children that she would live for 50 years and that any single day thereafter, they should be thanking God. She died June 30, 2011 at age 50.

During one of our affectionate conversations, she told me she would be sick for three days before her death. She said she would exit without burden to anyone or herself. I didn't believe, until it happened: four days before her death, she complained of stomach ache. We went to the hospital for scanning and treatment: the hospital placed her on overnight admission and began treatment, but she wanted to go home. Her desire to go home was bolstered by hospital's electric power interruption.

The hospital's generator was also broken down. She said rather weakly, that she wanted to go home since the hospital had no electricity. I honoured her request. We left the hospital for our home. Halfway into our street, the doctor called and informed me that the generator suddenly activated, surprisingly nothing was wrong with it, we could return to continue treatment; we were almost home, my wife said she didn't want to go back to the hospital.

"The next day, the illness continued at home. She refused to go back to the hospital: the doctor came to the house and placed her on a drip. Even though she was weak, she was active and independent; she refused any assistance; not even a support on the staircase and into the car, as we set out for hospital again, having encouraged her to return to a different hospital for re-examination.

I drove her into the waiting arms of doctors who further examined my late wife in a specialist hospital (Lagos State University Teaching Hospital, Ikeja). She was placed on admission. She was seeing things and in her own world, as she lay ill, she was concerned about the staff and other patients in the hospital. She was kept overnight because of the diagnosis.

The second night, she requested prayer warriors to begin intense prayers, not for her but for us, the living, and for her peaceful transition. She encouraged nurses in the hospital to pray: she would whisper prayer points and choruses. She muttered some messages to our God-son, George, who was with me in the hospital. We went into frenzy shouting for joy when she mentioned that 'we were victorious and it was all over.' By 5.30am June 30, 2011, we witnessed deteriorating changes in her health. I phoned Obi, our first son, and he quickly arrived at the hospital to assist.

I dashed out to seek a transfer for her to another (the intensive care) room in the hospital. I left Obi and George with pastors and prayer warriors who arrived to pray with us. Something happened while I was gone. The mood changed when I returned. I smelt sadness from the travelling breeze within. The mood was solemn. I saw the sad faces of hospital staff and my son: I felt strange. Everyone from the doctors tried to find a way to tell me she had died…

One of the midwives called me to the side and said I should brace up because my wife died few minutes then. That morning of her death, pastors and other prayer warriors ended morning prayer in her room; she whispered amen, and then slept off. It was exactly 9a.m. I felt dazed, shocked and awed when I was told I lost my 'everything,' my companion and the love of my life. Jebose, I caved into denial zone. We immediately moved her body to a room in our home, unknown to many. My late wife warned that her body must not be deposited in the mortuary. I had to respect her wishes. So we decorated a room in our house and laid her down. She was beautiful, peaceful in her sleep.

The media and the enlarged burial committee members didn't know where she was after her death. She lay in that room for almost three months. I was going crazy. I didn't want to believe she would not wake up. She was smiling peacefully. I couldn't believe it. I made sure I looked at her every day. I was confused, depressed, dejected and hopeless. The children began to monitor me. I was still in denial, hoping she was asleep… she would wake up. I kept reassuring myself. She never did.

"I finally accepted her death when the pallbearers came into that room and placed her in a coffin for the Commendation Service at Arch Bishop Vining Memorial Cathedral, Ikeja on September 9, 2011 and from there later through the Muritala Mohammed Airport, Ikeja to Akanu Ibiam, Enugu airport en route Awka, Anambra State for funeral service and burial the next day. I knew then, that my best friend, my partner, my soul mate, the mother of my beautiful children, was truly gone.

"After the burial, I was alone and lonely, I felt guilty for her death. I never expected to bury my wife. I always prayed that when my time was up, she, our children and grandchildren would bury me. I began to question God in these transitional periods: I was near complete depression because life was no longer interesting to me: I was lonely and mourning my wife. I was empty. I told everyone that I would never remarry because no woman could replace my late wife. I was suicidal.

After her burial, the pain continued as life began to settle into normalcy, I began to see her in my dreams, encouraging me to live my life. She said she knew if I had the privilege of spending more time with her, I would have corrected certain things in our lives. She said I must move on with my life. Throughout our 32 years, we shared everything: we never separated from the same bedroom. The only time we separated was when we kept her body in a separate room while planning her funeral. Counselling from well-wishers helped me to begin to accept a life without her.

"Her appearances in my dreams encouraged me to move on. In one of such appearances, she told me:

"I came and I have fulfilled my destiny on earth. I wished I stayed longer but that was my destiny and God's words must surely come to pass in our lives. I am not coming again. I am happy where I am. It is well with all of you! Please I want to be remembered always in happiness. Stop getting worried any longer because you do most times. You cry often for missing me and wished that I lived so that you make some amends. It is too late now.

You should move on. Your focus should be how to live long for our kids. Advise them properly and correct them positively whenever they go wrong, for their own good. Take good care of them and their offsprings as long as you witness and always bless and not curse any of them. (She smiled…..) I never cursed any of them. I only tried to make them look forward to being independent as my last days on earth approached.

Because you need to live long for the kids, you can remarry instead of running into some temptations that are building up. Pray hard. God will show you the right person. The person should not be very young. She must be older than our first kid. She must be able to stand in for the sake of the kids but she must not participate directly as one of the owners in any of our already established companies unless with express permission of all the kids.

She will obey you. I must be respected. You know other things that would make the relationship to be soothing to me in death and useful to you in life unless if you want to continue to deceive yourself. You must not allow her do anything you know would not be pleasing. You are an intelligent man, I did say this often and I leave you to your conscience (she smiled…) till we meet to part no more.

My love to all still existing and I want all to know this."

"If she didn't appear to me in my dreams, I wouldn't have remarried. I remarried after three years of her death. Time reversed everything. I didn't want a situation where I would be bringing different women to our home: After the dreams, I began to consider marriage again. Being alone may not be the problem, the problem is the temptations that loneliness and being alone ferment. That would be very disrespectful to her memory and our children. I remarried, with her blessings. I am no longer mourning but her memories are indelible."

Via - Saturday Punch

Dissatisfied Husband Sends Wife Spreadsheet Listing How Many Times She Denied Him Sex

Posted: 19 Jul 2014 07:37 AM PDT


A Reddit user throwwwwaway29 posted the equivalent of a Dear Myne post on the forum saying;

My husband sent me an immature, inflammatory email as I was driving to the airport for a 10-day work trip. Now he has cut contact.

It seems her husband is so not happy with their sex life and he wants his wife to know just how much. In fact the thing has been paining him so much that he actually keeps tabs!

In that email he sent his wife, he attached a spreadsheet with the details of every single time since the beginning of June when he has asked for sex and been denied.


throwwwwaway29 explains:

Yesterday morning, while in a taxi on the way to the airport, Husband sends a message to my work email which is connected to my phone. He's never done this, we always communicate in person or by text. I open it up, and it's a sarcastic diatribe basically saying he won't miss me for the 10 days I'm gone.

Attached is a SPREADSHEET of all the times he has tried to initiate sex since June 1st, with a column for my "excuses", using verbatim quotes of why I didn't feel like having sex at that very moment. According to his 'document', we've only had sex 3 times in the last 7 weeks, out of 27 "attempts" on his part.

Already redditers are pouring out the comments, see some below, and share your own thoughts.

[–]depb66
For the sake of your sanity in dealing with clients for nine days, reply back with an email. But a nice one. Even if his email was pretty lame, he is probably fearing that the past 7 weeks are not only temporary but a new way of things.
Tell him you love him, things have been crazy with all of the stuff going on, but you will work it out. And for your sake, even though you guys have a lot of stuff going on, you have to enjoy life. Make evenings together "your thing". Make dinner after the gym but leave him the dishes while you go and take a nice shower, get into something comfortable and just relax and enjoy your night together. Watch TV, have sex, snuggle. Married life gets busy. When my kids were little my grandmother told me that housework will always wait for you. I always spent evenings with my kids making dinner, giving them a bath, reading to them etc. Your evenings together are as important as anything else in life, maybe more so. Cut yourself some slack, and him too. Hope it works out.

[–]Altruizzy
This is the best response. Husband is in a crisis and emotional. Best to take the high road, acknowledge his concerns and try to diffuse the situation. Getting upset will just increase the drama. What he has done is childish. He needs to get the tantrum out of his system so they can take the next steps.

[–]Banelingz
Lol, you guys think this was an attempt for the husband to seduce OP?
The email is that of a man who is equally desperate and angry. A man who encountered so much unaknowledged rejections that he needs to count them.
Let's put it this way, he started documenting sex attempts 7 weeks ago. When do you think the sex actually 'tapered off'? I'm guessing several months before that.
I really don't believe was as out of the blue as OP would like us believe.

[–]DownShatCreek
Wow. A sensible comment that isn't being downvoted..

[–]GoingAllTheJay
Our sex life HAS tapered in the last few months, but isn't that allowed?
Obviously it's allowed, but he's not allowed to be bothered by it?
Just because he went about showing you how bad the situation is in a horrible way, doesn't make it any less real.
If I was turned down 89% of the time by my wife in the past while, it would shatter my confidence in myself and my relationship.
Why is he putting me through this? What the hell am I supposed to do?
He's probably thinking the same things about why you aren't willing to have sex with him.
He shouldn't be going no-contact, he shouldn't have sprung it on you as you were leaving, but his concerns are still valid.
He needs to understand that his ways of expressing his frustration are unacceptable, but then you both need to tackle this issue of intimacy together with open minds if you want to move past this.

[–]circlejerkrt
Our sex life HAS tapered in the last few months, but isn't that allowed? We are adults leading busy, stressful lives. I cook for him, I do his laundry, I keep our house clean and tidy. It's not like our sex life was going to be this way FOREVER, it was a temporary slow-down due to extenuating circumstances.
Wishful thinking. If you want to have intimacy you need to make an effort to prioritize it. Owning a house is work. There won't be a time when the lawn doesn't need mowing or the bathroom cleaning or the dishes or laundry or a light fixture or washing machine needs replacement. And once you have kids you'll have even less down time.
It sounds like you've just been putting off intimacy until sometime unspecified in the future where neither of you will have responsibilities. That just won't happen.
Your husband's behavior needs to be addressed as its own issue separate from your sex life! His communication style is absolutely absurd!
You also need to address your priorities for intimacy. If you want a physical relationship you need to be able to account for that during you normal life instead of putting it off to some mythical slow period in the future.

[–]Svri
I wouldn't call it his style. She's already described this is a 1 off situation.
It's definitely odd though since he hasn't done it before.

[–]rabblerabble8
sounds like the desperate act of someone at their wits end

[–]Tree-eeeze
Before it sounds like I'm defending the husband I'd like to clarify that I think his method here was extremely immature.
I am neither married nor have I been in a situation where I felt like my significant other was "depriving me" of sex (for lack of a better phrase)...
BUT, I can relate to his possible mindset, in the sense that I often stew internally about things that are bothering me rather than openly communicating, to the point where it can manifest itself in very dick-ish behavior.
"Lack of sex" (or whatever it is) may have been bugging him for some time, but since he's not discussing it with her it just builds up exponentially in his head - to the point where he's "perfectly arguing" with someone who can't argue back ... constantly reinforcing to himself how everything he's doing is right and everything she's doing is wrong.
He probably saw the trip as the "moment" to spring it on her precisely because he knows she'll has no opportunity to offer a rebuttal or share her side (with him taking the additional steps of going technologically AWOL). He gets to feel totally vindicated and let her feel like shit about it.
He basically set up a situation where, in his mind, he can't lose the argument. Though who knows what the hell he expects to happen when she comes home. He may honestly think "oh she'll see how right I was and everything will work out exactly like I want."
But he doesn't realize he's at fault too - maybe not for the original problem (though I'm sure he shares some blame), but definitely for this stunt he pulled. In a shorter term relationship? Still shitty, but hey maybe that relationship wasn't meant to be. In a multi-year marriage? This is 100% wrong and needs to be addressed no matter what the original problem was.
So yeah ... if I had to guess, that's why he did it the way he did it.
It's a pretty immature way of debating someone that boils down to "I'm going to speak my peace in a way where you have to hear it, and then la la la I can't hear you." Even if he's right ... he's still an asshole.

[–]atomsk404
Or it was an attempt to speak his fears.
"We haven't had sex in months - now you leave me for two weeks on business in many strange cities with who knows who. We are both sexually unsatisfied and I'm scared you're going to do something about it while gone, so here is proof that if you do, it's YOUR FAULT."

[–]Tree-eeeze
Maybe ... but I thought the subtext was more "you let yourself go and have become asexual, and I'm fed up with it without wanting to have to actually hear your side"
Cutting off all contact and being a huge dick about it is far more likely to push her into another man's arms than basically any other alternative he could come up with.
If he was scared she might cheat on this trip you'd think he'd at least answer phone calls and talk to her.

[–]yogapantsareforever
OP, your husband doesn't give a shit about the house being clean or tidy. He'd rather get a blowjob.
If you don't believe me, go spend some time at /r/deadbedrooms
Seriously if you are being honest about being "too busy cleaning" to have sex, stop. fucking. cleaning. You are fucking up your marriage.

[–]cattimusrex
Or maybe hand him a broom and a dust cloth and have him help.

[–]yogapantsareforever
Does he do any chores? I hadn't really seen her reference that or not yet

[–]jenntasticxx
I'm not married or anything, but a friend of mine is and she had a piece of marriage advice... "Never let your man leave the house hungry or horny." Haha.

[–]helm
Wishful thinking. If you want to have intimacy you need to make an effort to prioritize it. Owning a house is work. There won't be a time when the lawn doesn't need mowing or the bathroom cleaning or the dishes or laundry or a light fixture or washing machine needs replacement. And once you have kids you'll have even less down time.
Exactly. At this rate, a child will excuse her from sex for at least two years.

[–]Advice_Bomber
I'm sorry but treating the OP like the main issue is two months of less than frequent sex, rather than having a sexually entitled Asshole of a husband with the communicating style of an autistic 12 year old is just absurd.

[–]circlejerkrt
Op's marriage has two issues.
A husband who failed to communicate like an adult.
Intimacy problems which OP already acknowledged exist.
Both need to be addressed. The fact that #1 interfered with discussing #2 doesn't lessen intimacy issues or delegitimize his feelings. Saying her husband acted childish is true, but does nothing to address another problem within the marriage.
Trying to discuss both at the same time will only cloud both issues and solve neither.
OP needs to acknowledge her husband's feelings regarding intimacy but address communication issues. Then as a separate discussion they need to discuss their intimacy issues without his previous communication issues being brought up.

[–]BillsInATL
with the communicating style of an autistic 12 year old
So you, in all of your wisdom, believe this is the first time he has ever tried communicating about it?
Even though OP admitted that this is the first time he has ever acted this way? Even after OP admitted she thought the lack of sex was normal?
Maybe OP has been acting like the "autistic 12 year old" with her lack of empathy and has been unable or unwilling to acknowledge her husband's concerns.

[–]hellohaley
Great username because your advice is bombing hard. Sexually entitled husband? You try being rejected 27 times and see how loved you feel. You're being completely callous here. Some people need physical intimacy to feel loved, and after this shitty of a sex life, he's feeling pretty low, understandably. And less than frequent? Does a dead bedroom sound ok to you? Because that's what it is and it's a graveyard for relationships.

[–]Pilgrim_of_Reddit
What ever is going on has taken more than one month to happen. Your husband resents something with a strong, strong feeling. The lack of love making will only be one part of the issue.
There are many questions that you can ask your self.
What were your husbands, and yours, expectations when you got married? Are they being met?
In any week how much actual time do you spend in the presence of your husband? How much of the time is spent doing fun things, such as a date, a movie, chatting, making love? How much of that time is spent by you checking your work email, receiving work telephone calls, doing work? How much of the time is spent doing chores? Do you split the chores equally?
Was your husband expecting you to work as hard as you do, and do you spend much time away from home, which is something else he wasn't expecting?
Do you take your stress out on your husband? Do you show any feelings for him, or are you too stressed out? Do you cuddle him? Tell him that you love him?
You may have been doing most of the chores before this additional work, but are you really still doing them, or is he having to do it all now?
When you married did your husband expect to sit back and never do any chores, cooking and you would do everything?
When will this hectic life that you are currently leading come to an end? Is there an end in sight? Does anything come out of this? Such as a pay rise, a promotion? Or are you driving yourself in to the ground, oblivious to your marriage issues that will get trashed at the same time?
Forgive me for saying this, but even from what you write, your mind is not on your marriage, but work. That is not healthy. Has your husband been making comments, asking to talk etc? You may not have noticed, being too focused on work.
For your husband to keep a spreadsheet, with the excuses that you have given, about non sex there must be something.
So, 27 days without sex so far. By the time you get home it will be at least 37. Is that normal? How much sex did you used to have? From that to zero is a heck of a change. Men see love making as a way of expressing their love for their partner. For you to deny him that is possibly telling him that you no longer care.
He sees someone who does not make love any more, who is out of the house for long hours, who goes away for nights on end, who shows no love, or feeling for him. You know what he might be thinking? "Who is she having an affair with?"
My comments and questions are just starters for you to think of. There are others, such as is your husband totally and utterly unjustified in what he feels and thinks? I can promise you now, that what he feels and thinks are complete and utter rejection along with a deep sadness. All of these have been going on for a while, and getting worse.
A final set of questions. Are you with someone at the moment, when you are away? Are you often away with this person? Does your husband know this?
Are you aware of any insecurities from your husbands past relationships that tie in to what is happening now?
EDITED to add The above are questions, not criticisms. They are possible thoughts your husband has, and is, having, but are not necessarily valid. Please try and think this through as if you were your husband and he was you.

[–]Fetish_Goth
The spreadsheet was probably born out of the frustration of her not listening.
I know people like this. They argue/interrupt/yell when you try to talk to them. The only way to get anything across to them is to send them a letter. They can't interrupt a letter. They can't change the subject. They can't yell at it.
EDIT: The fact he used her work e-mail is very telling. There is a very good chance she would have dismissed a personal text/e-mail as unimportant. He knew she would actually check this one right away.

[–]yogapantsareforever
So, 27 days without sex so far. By the time you get home it will be at least 37. Is that normal? How much sex did you used to have? From that to zero is a heck of a change. Men see love making as a way of expressing their love for their partner. For you to deny him that is possibly telling him that you no longer care.
BUT BUT BUT....THE HOUSE IS CLEAN!

[–]MissPoopsHerPants
Sounds to me like maybe homeboy needs to pitch in on the housework....maybe she wouldn't be too tired and stressed for sex if he did HIS OWN laundry. He has a part in this too.

[–]Pilgrim_of_Reddit
Yes, but cleaned by whom?
OP is either always at work, in the gym, or away due to work. When the hell does she manage to get all the house hold chores done.

[–]yogapantsareforever
When she isn't having sex with her husband, apparently.
Or, since they're never home, maybe the house doesn't get that dirty? IDK, but I was being sarcastic anyways

[–]Pilgrim_of_Reddit
I know you were. I should have communicated better ( :-). ) and shown my appreciation.
I liked your comment by the way. I also wish I had written it.

[–]yogapantsareforever
Maybe if you had made me an excel spreadsheet I would've understood better ;)

[–]k_princess
your mind is not on your marriage, but work
While I agree with you wholeheartedly on everything you said, this was thrown on her just as she was leaving for a businesa trip. It would have been better if he had sent an email or text that said "we need to talk when you get home" or waiting until she was on her way home to send this email.
Another thing that strikes me is that they don't seem to communicate at all. I don't know anyone that goes on a business trip that doesn't call or text at least once a day. I know the circumstances are dictating the lack of communication right now, but it doesn't sound like they would be looking forward to calling each other if things were otherwise"normal" for them.

[–]Pilgrim_of_Reddit
The tactics used by OPs husband are tactics of the despairing, the hopeless, the lost. His Tactics are ones of the last resort. I do not believe for one moment that her husband has not tried any form of communication until this moment.
If I described the following to you tell me what you suspect.
1/ loss of affection 2/ massive decrease in love making and denial this is occurring 3/ staying at work longer 4/ going away from home longer and more often 5/ doesn't text, email or telephone as often as she used to, and is always too busy to take my calls or respond to my text messages quickly 6/ suddenly started to go to the gym to lose weight. 7/ talks to me less 8/ never initiates love making 9/ won't talk to me, says she is too busy
In your opinion, what is that person doing?

Read more - Reddit

Genevieve Nnaji Congratulates Jude Okoye on His Marriage as New Wife Opens Up On Their Love

Posted: 19 Jul 2014 05:37 PM PDT


Actress Genevieve Nnaji left a comment blessing his marriage in a picture posted by Jude Okoye on Instagram, and acknowledging his newly married status. She wrote;

Congratulations @judeengees Nnam. May your union be eternally blessed and fruitful

Meanwhile, the new Mrs. Okoye, Ifeoma Umeokeke also came out today to talk about her new husband and their love, gushing "Officially mine #handsome #awesome #allshadesofamazing"

Check out more of the pictures she shared and her thanks to all those that came out for their wedding, below...

Thanks to everyone who came all the way to witness this great and special day and all your kind and thoughtful words,,.. I don't know where to start....but God will grant each and everyone one of you all your heart desires. We are indeed greatful

Officially mine #handsome #awesome #allshadesofamazing

My beautiful maidens @faithogei @sharonjohnson007 @mzdosh @vivianazimene you guys rock

Don't remember what I was laughing abt hehehe 

Alobam

This past few months made me treasure my sisters a lot.. The inseperable bond that exist between us just brought a tear to my eye.. This picture is not just any random one, it shows how they got my back every single time.. The two in front @zoey_blaq @nnekablaze actually stood on that stick so i don't fall and the ones behind guarded me till I got to my husband.. Family is everything.. Never trade a good relationship for anything or anyone... Love you guys till eternity @mzdosh @nnekablaze @zoey_blaq @fizzglam @taslawal @vwemo 

He said -Igwe ogbu azu 1 of ifite with Lolo..... She said - That smile :)

Mommy Time - Sandra Bullock With Son Louis

Posted: 19 Jul 2014 05:08 AM PDT


Sandra Bullock will remember 2010 as a bittersweet year, it was the year she won an Oscar, got divorced, and adopted her son after waiting for four years.

Since then, she and Louis are best buddies. In an interview with Vogue she said,
"Work was my life before. Now I have no reason to leave home. If all of a sudden someone said, 'You have five more kids,' I'd be totally OK with it".
While filming "Gravity", Sandra made sure the set was accommodating to little Louis. Outside of the movie sets too, she is always there for him. See more photos of them below..



Pepper Okwesa In Hospital, Showers Husband Jay Chikezie With Love on #Onye Hashtag

Posted: 19 Jul 2014 08:40 AM PDT


Sometimes we think PDAs are only hugs and kisses and groping your partner in public. But in our internet world, great PDA also includes showering your SO with words of affirmation and love on your favorite social media network.

Waje is currently running this hashtag #onye on Instagram and Twitter where you are supposed to share a picture of your favorite personal person, as the igbo will say, Onyenkem. Often, I go on the hashtag and feed the sap in me by reading the comments people make about the ones they've chosen. #Onyes have ranged from mothers, fathers, children, besties, and of course spouses.

This #onye entry by Pepper Okwesa got my attention because 1. Her face looked familar, and 2. She looked like she was sick. Indeed she was, and her commentary on missing her hubby in hospital blew me away! Please read it below...



"On this day in hospital the presence of my #onye is really felt. You see this is the first time I have been in hospital for any reason without my husband. He tells the world to chill while he waits on me hand and foot. He sleeps in the most uncomfortable of chairs right by my side, whether its cold or hot. He thinks about himself last, putting me first before he even thinks to have his shower or anything.

He stays to hear me moan about the same thing I moaned about 15min earlier, to gist, to laugh and hear my very dry jokes, to keep me company, to pray with and for me, to share our dreams and visions, to argue join. To wash and keep me clean, to lift my legs when I can't move them, to dry my tears when I am sobbing out of pain or frustration, to run out in the rain or shine to buy me anything I want to eat and to even have patience with me when I tell him he got the wrong thing.

Jay my King, my #onye I am sorry to have ever taken you for granted and I am so blessed to have you and I know you have no limit on what you can do for me. I miss your stories and your smile. Don't worry about me I am strong, healthy and highly favoured. You know this public emo business is unlike me, but I am giving it a go knowing it will make you smile, let me use small strength to do this now at least.

I felt inspired to do so going through @officialwaje's timeline. Thank you so much, I love you @jaycapocapa.

Pepper Okwesa, husband and son

Her warm words for her husband was so beautiful and it brought tears to my eyes. I wondered if I could find anything about them online, and when I googled, guess what came up? How he proposed to her! It was a PDA of the romantic type, a cinema proposal :)



In a dramatic and romantic style, FAB Magazine's Style Editor, Yoanna Pepper Okwesa got a marriage proposal from her fiancée at the cinema hall of Silverbird Galleria yesterday evening. According to an eyewitness', movie goers were settling in to watch the new Hollywood action flick starring Harrison Ford and Daniel Craig, 'Cowboys and Aliens' but got a romantic teaser first.

"The adverts that usually run before the movie begins had played thrice in a row and the audience was getting apprehensive when Yvonne Pepper Okwesa, her mum and her fiancée walked in," the witness narrated. "As they settled in, the text chronicling their journey began to display on the Cinema Screen reading as "it all started with the line 'will you dance with me' and ended with her fiancée, through the screen messages, describing her as many sweet things including ' my Margret Thatcher'."

"At that point Okwesa began to get suspicious and asked him if this was his doing," the witness continued. "The lights were turned on in the cinema hall as her beau went on his knee, the crowd's cheers drowned the proposal but not Okwesa's "Yes! Yes! Yes!"

I wish Pepper a quick recovery and I pray that the love between her and Jay continue to satsfy her soul forever, Amen.

13 Strange Courtship and Romance Practices From The Past and Around the World

Posted: 19 Jul 2014 04:03 AM PDT


By Hayley Matthews

How Do You Like Them Apples?

We've been taught the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. That's why in 19th century Austria, women used to give men apple slices they clenched in their (probably sweaty) armpits while dancing. If the dude was truly interested, he'd gobble them right up.


Say It With Chopsticks:

During Sisters' Meal Festival in China, Miao girls will give their suitors colorful rice. However, it's what's in the rice that really matters. Garlic or a pepper? That's a no. One chopstick? She's letting you down gently. A pine needle? She's unsure. Two chopsticks? She likes you back.

Once You Go Black:

In Scotland, you learn your lessons the hard way. A few days before the wedding, the soon-to-be bride and groom are taken and coated in any and all gross substances. They are then paraded around town. Apparently if they can handle this, they can handle the trials and tribulations of marriage.

Show Those Pearly Whites:

Before you get married, your teeth need to be filed. At least, that's how the Balinese of Indonesia feel. The filing controls "evil" characteristics like greed, lust and stupidity so your marriage can be without these. The ceremonies are often combined with the wedding happening immediately after to save money.

Will She "Sheath" His "Sword?"

No need to work out the innuendo on this one. Eligible girls in 19th century Finland would wear empty sheaths around their waists. If a fellow was interested, he'd put his sword in. If she returned the knife, she turned him down. If she kept it in there, she accepted his proposal for marriage.

Whistle While You Woo:

The Kickapoo tribe of Mexico doesn't think it's bad form to whistle at a lady you like — in fact, they use it to communicate their evening plans. Each couple comes up with unique tones and codes their messages so they don't announce all of their romantic feelings to the whole village.

A Different Kind Of Spooning:

It was important for fathers in 17th century Wales to know their daughters would be well provided for by a handy craftsmen. Thus, suitors would present young women with hand-carved wooden spoons with intricate designs and symbols. If she accepted the spoon, their courtship began.

Oh My, Omiai!

Relationships were often left to matchmakers in Japan. They are responsible for doing background checks, exchanging pictures and cross-examining the families to make sure the two will work out well together. While the practice has dwindled, the wealthier members of society often rely on it.

Is She A Fan Or Not?

Women in Victorian England were limited in what they could say with their words, so they found a way to communicate with their fans. Slow fanning? She's spoken for. Fast fanning? She's available. Fan resting on left side of cheek? She's not into you. Right side? You're in business.

Dyngus Day Is Date Day:

This Polish festival allows boys and girls who like each other to spray one another with water and perfume. Boys also will hit the girls they like with pussy willows. While this tradition dates back further than Christianity, it's still going strong in any place where there are large Polish populations.

He'll Help You Get A Head:

Nothing wins a woman over like a severed head, as the Taiwanese will likely tell you. Up until the 20th century, men would woo ladies with the heads of those they had beheaded in battle. If she accepted, these heads were then put on a platform on display for everyone else to see.

Love Shack, Baby!

In Cambodia, dads make sure their daughters have comfortable places to meet potential husbands — in their very own love shack. The girls are encouraged to meet with as many boys as they want until they meet the love of their life. Long-lasting marriage is important, so they want her to find the right guy.

No Muss, No Fuss — Move In:

In ancient Egypt, courting was incredibly simple. If a man liked a woman, and she liked him back, they would move into the same house and live together. That's it. Then they were married. No elaborate ceremonies to get nervous about – the Egyptians knew how to keep it sweet and simple.

————

From Your Tango

Juliet Ibrahim In Black Corset For New Music Single 'It's Over Now' Promo Photoshoot

Posted: 19 Jul 2014 03:05 AM PDT


Some say Juliet Ibrahim is getting over her divorce and  her new single/video, 'It's Over Now' points to that effect. I guess these promo shots serve the same purpose then?

The Ghanaian actress is in Dominatrix-mode in the new shoot wearing a black and red 'leather lingerie with a pistol strapped at her holster.

She is as beautiful as always, but I can't help but compare these pictures to an earlier one I blogged about here.

All the best to Juliet in her music and acting efforts.







Two RML Blog Readers Get Married - See Their Wedding Pictures

Posted: 19 Jul 2014 02:05 AM PDT


You've seen their pre-wedding pictures and love story - here, now our RML lovebirds are married! Check out some of their pictures below...








From Traditional Wedding

More loving pictures from the couple...


Celeb InstaFashion - Agbani Darego Is A Stunner With Red Lips Over Black and White Stripes

Posted: 19 Jul 2014 12:03 AM PDT


Agbani Darego is an ethereal beauty in all senses of the word and she is aging like fine wine. The former Miss World can still compete with girls less than half her age in the looks department at any time or day.

Agbani shared these photos on Instagram that show that she's enjoying the best time of her life yet. She brought out the color in her lips with bright red lipstick and her off-the-shoulder tunic dress is patterned in bold black and white stripes.

With her hair in a sleek updo, she accessorizes the outfit with black tights, black purse, and ankle boots with silver studs. This night out was definitely one to remember!


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