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Thursday, June 12, 2014

Romance Meets Life

Romance Meets Life

Former Abductee Speaks on Being Raped By Boko Haram and The Baby She Has For Shekau

Posted: 12 Jun 2014 05:05 PM PDT


Meenah Dawah (not real name), was kidnapped after she was forced to watch her parents being shot dead and held captive by Boko Haram for 27 months. She has told her shocking story to 1Q4 news, and says she was raped by multiple men and has a baby which may belong to Boko Haram leader Abubakar Shekau.

Meenah was kidnapped at 17 from her village in Konduga town, northern Nigeria by the dreaded sect after the massacre that claimed her family and has been moved around a lot since then. She only regaind her freedom after the Nigerian Military sacked the Boko Haram camp where she was held at the time.

However, though Meenah is free from the terror of the Boko Haram, she is now facing the stigma of having been raped and having a child that belongs to a terrorist. I wonder if there is a fund to help these victims of the Boko Haram violence against women?


IQ4 News reports;

While in captivity, she had to care for children born to Boko Haram commanders and members, and would tremble in fear as she heard girls scream as they were raped, and in some cases watch how girls were tortured for refusing to change their faith.

She described how on occasions some top leaders of Boko Haram would come, and she was asked to entertain them.

It was on such visits she insists that Abubakar Shekau, Nigeria's most wanted man, and Boko Haram leader, slept with her.

He would just appear from nowhere like a ghost," she narrated.

"He seems to be panicking all the time and issuing instructions.

"He is a softly spoken man – it is almost as if he whispers, if you are meeting him for the first time, you would never be scared of him.

"But I soon learned that after every whisper something dangerous would happen somewhere in Nigeria.

"Depending on the camp, some of the camps have everything, electricity, water and television, with different kind of electronics.

"He once asked me if I was willing to fight for the cause, to which I answered no, he told me I could be a fighter and a domestic slave.

"I didn't want to speak to him in case what I said offended him.

"All it would take was one wrong word and he would have had me killed. I thought he was drinking or taking something whenever he came, one could notice maybe he lost men or something was not right.

"We moved a lot and depending on the camp, my role varied, it was so tough travelling around with a baby strapped to my back.

"Abu has many kids from many different women.

"Some of us women would go to Maiduguri to buy things when we have shortage, and a commander or two would follow us, and we acted as decoy when villages are ambushed.

"I'd be sent in to talk to people, then they'd move in behind me and start killing."

"Some of us girls would also have to carry guns, and often bombs too, there was this girl, she was forced to carry a rocket-propelled grenade launcher on her shoulder, then we had few men in that particular camp."

Meenah managed to escape when she was badly wounded by a bullet, after the Nigerian army attacked their camp. She was left for dead.

The bullet in her leg was only recently removed at the University of Maiduguri Teaching Hospital in Borno State.

She has an uncle as a sole surviving relative, and it has not been easy as her uncle has not receive her warmly.

"My uncle will not have me because he is ashamed of my child whose paternity is not only questionable but is dangerous if it is Shekau," she says.

Many like Meenah have nowhere else to turn.

"Before my parents were shot in the attack on our village, my dad had made plans for me to go and finish my secondary school in Government Girl Secondary School Shaffa, where we have a distant relative, but she was also killed in an attack on her way back from a market in that area.

"I know I am intelligent and willing to learn, but where do I start from?"

FIFA World Cup 2014 Opening Ceremony - Jennifer Lopez, Pitbull Perform Theme Song

Posted: 12 Jun 2014 04:06 PM PDT

FIFA World Cup

This is the day so many people have been waiting for, the 2014 FIFA World Cup finally kicked off in Brazil on Thursday night with pop superstar Jennifer Lopez and rapper Pitbull entertaining the crowds in a glittering opening ceremony at Sao Paulo.

Jennifer Lopez was earlier reported not to be performing at the World Cup 2014 Opening Ceremony, so it is a surprise to see her on stage. Everybody was dancing as Jennifer Lopez and Pitbull along with Brazilian singer, Claudia Leitte, perform the official soundtrack of the FIFA World Cup, "We are One" to round up the opening cereomony.

Now it's time for the football proper and the biggest show on earth! The first match between Brazil and Croatia has just started! See more opening ceremony pictures below...

[Please Advise] Dear RML, WHAT AM I DOING WRONG???

Posted: 12 Jun 2014 01:02 PM PDT


This came in as a comment on the Real Love Story post

Awwww!!!! The story got me praying to God and asking for something beautiful as this to happen to me. At times I just feel like giving up. What is wrong with me that I don't seem to hook up with someone I love and who in turn genuinely loves me? There must be something wrong isn't it RML readers?

I've got a guy who head over heels in "love' with me but frankly I FEEL NOTHING for him. A friend tried to match make me with someone in the US and when we started off, it was ok though I was constantly appalled at his terrible use of the English language(both written and oral) and he is supposedly doing his Masters.


I insisted he comes see and guess what dear RML, I was soo dissappointed. He looked nothing like what I saw in the pictures. I just knew I could not settle with him because I guess I will not be happy.
I keep trusting the Lord for my love, the man I will love and accept and he too vice versa.

At times I'm sad/jealous when I see couples and I wonder WHAT AM I DOING WRONG????

God Delivered My Birthday Gift To Me In My Own Home - Real Love Story

Posted: 12 Jun 2014 01:53 PM PDT


This real love story is from one of the most dedicated readers of RML, and I believe her fiance reads the site too. The road to true love was paved with frogs, but let's just say all is well that ends well. I had a huge grin on my face reading her true love story, it was like something out of a book or movie :)

Enjoy, and check out more of their amazing pre-wedding photos at the end...

In July 2012, the guy I was dating left the country to study without informing me. He called me from the US to apologize. He said he did not tell me because he did not know how I would have handled the information.
I cried for days and swore off men. I stayed away from guys and their advances after that.

January 2013, I asked God to give me something unimaginable as a birthday gift because my last few birthdays had been clouded with memories of the loss of my dad.

I usually don't have birthday parties but on March 22 the night before my birthday. My heart kept troubling me to have one.

I felt it was already too late to start planning anything or inviting people but I was just restless. I gave in and agreed. I sent an SMS to a few of my close friends at about 10pm inviting them to "come eat rice" at my house the next day. I had no idea how I was going to put it together. There was nothing in the house.

I also sent the text to a former colleague; don't know why I sent it to him because we were no didn't really keep in touch after I left the company. He was the first to respond to the text.

The next morning after I cooked everything I could get my hands on. My colleague was the first to arrive but he did not come alone.

After I hugged him and let him into the house, I was about to greet his friend when we both froze staring at each other for what seemed like forever.

My friend had to clear his throat to break off the stare.  We shook hands and he came in the house.
Since they were the first to arrive they had all my attention.

I asked if they wanted a taste of the Curry Sauce before I served  it and they said yes.  I dipped the spoon in the sauce and went on like someone in a spell to put it in my colleague's friend, now my fiancé's mouth. ( I've barely known him for 45 mins)

We were both shocked and I was kinda embarrassed. Throughout the party we were glued together, chatting and laughing. He even helped me serve other guests. I gave him my number before he left to his surprise.

When they were leaving, I hugged him and shook my colleague's hands. Didn't realise this until he reminded me when we started dating. I didn't take his calls for days after we met.  I was back to my reality of no boys allowed.

He never gave up. He kept calling. About 5 days later I decided to take his call. He was so happy and wanted to see me right away. He was leaving town that day and almost missed his flight but he didn't care. He just had to see me like he said.

After that day we were inseparable. We talked for hours on the phone every day.

We became best friends and 5 months later he proposed to me.

It was definitely Love at first sight and now we're best friends on top of that.

God delivered my birthday gift to me in my own home and I get to keep him forever.

Uzo Aduba Talks About Growing Up in America With Her Nigerian Name

Posted: 12 Jun 2014 01:44 PM PDT


Nigerian-American actress Uzo Aduba plays Suzanne "Crazy Eyes" Warren in popular Netflix series, "Orange is the New Black", and in an interview published on The Daily Beast, Uzo Aduba talks about her childhood, growing up as a child of Nigerian immigrants in America.

She identifies with her character, Suzanne's struggles to fit in as a child who feels different from others, and talks specifically about her Nigerian name. This is one side of the American dream for African immigrants that is not often discussed. How you name might be misspelt, mispronounced, or just plain lock you out of opportunities.

Uzo Aduba shared her story thus;

My full name is "Uzoamaka." My family is from Nigeria—I'm Igbo—and it means, "the road is good." They named me that when they came over to America because it was a journey that led them through a civil war, but it was worth it because my parents met and then they had me, so the road was good.

When I was a little kid, I grew up in a very small town in Massachusetts's called Medfield, and I definitely identify with Suzanne's experience because I felt like I was an "only" at times, and you want to blend in. We were the only Nigerians there. My name was the first in roll call and the teachers didn't know how to say my name.

I'd come home and say, "Mommy, can you call me 'Zoe?'" and she asked, "Why?" And I said, "Because nobody can say my name." And she said, "People learned to say Tchaikovsky, Michelangelo, and Dostoevsky. They can learn to say 'Uzoamaka.'"

And that was it.

The meaning of her name and the story behind it is just so beautiful, but as a child, it wouldn't have mattered so much to her. All most children want is to fit in with their peers and not appear strange or become ostracized for something out of their control.

I have seen Nigerians who live abroad, they have got passports and everything, and then they say they won't give their children English names. I don't really see the sense in that, especially now I've lived here for a while. Give them a second name in your language, or teach them to speak their mother tongue, those I believe is even more important.

On the other extreme, I've seen grown adults who changed their name after they arrived here, and not to their second English name, but to something like Shawn, Ryan, etc. Really? I don't think that is necessary, but what do I know?

Who has found themselves thinking of changing their names because people couldn't pronounce it? And if you will give your children only Nigerian names, why?

Vera Sidika Spent $170,000 on Skin Lightening - She's Dating a Nigerian Oil Tycoon

Posted: 12 Jun 2014 08:04 AM PDT


Earlier this week, Kenyan socialite Vera Sidika who is referred to as the country's Kim Kardashian, went viral for her skin lightening expenses.

In an interview with Larry Madowo of NTV, Vera said she has had skin lightening done in the UK at a cost of almost 15 million Kenyan shillings ($170,000/£100,000).

Vera also speaks about her "Nigerian Oil Tycoon" boyfriend hands her shopping cash gifts "$10,000, $20,000, $50,000″ and has hooked her up with a contract in Abuja. Vera says "my boyfriend spoils me". The couple met in Dubai and are celebrating their 1 year anniversary right about now.







The interview sparked the hashtag – #BleachedBeauty.



BBC Trending reports

Skin lightening is under the spotlight in Kenya after a well-known socialite, Vera Sidika, revealed she has spent tens of thousands of dollars on the treatment - prompting the hashtag #BleachedBeauty.

Vera Sidika is sometimes dubbed "Kenya's Kim Kardashian", as - like Kardashian - she is famed for posting photos of her voluptuous backside on social media. But this time, it's not her bottom that's under scrutiny.

On Friday night she gave an interview on Kenyan TV in which she spoke openly about the skin lightening treatment she has recently undergone. "Looking good is my business," she said matter-of-factly. "My body is my business, nobody else's but mine." Sidika said she'd had the skin lightening done in the UK and suggested it cost somewhere in the region of 15 million Kenyan shillings ($170,000; £100,000). She says she's already seen an increase in demand for her services.

The response on Kenyan social media was huge. "I was accused of promoting or endorsing a white-centred view of beauty for African girls by interviewing her," the host of the programme Larry Madowo told BBC Trending. "The criticism was quite intense." NTV decided to run a follow-up programme to discuss skin lightening, and encouraged people to share their thoughts using #BleachedBeauty.

More than 4,000 people have done so, and many of comments have been damning. "#BleachedBeauty is fake. Only those with low self-esteem would do that," tweeted one. "#Bleachedbeauty Ladies will soon begin bleaching their brains so they come up with bright ideas," tweeted another. But others commenting on YouTube came to Sidika's defence, praising her "openness and honesty" in speaking about the issue.

"Fascinating", "astounding" and "hypocritical" is how TV host Larry Madowo describes the reaction on social media. Many men in Kenya do indeed prefer light-skinned women, he says - referring to them affectionately as "yellow, yellow". Dark-skinned women are sometimes derogatively called "tinted".

Sherri Shepherd Steps Out - Talks About Divorce From Lamar Sally, and Moving Forward

Posted: 12 Jun 2014 07:03 AM PDT


Sherri Shepherd filed for divorce from husband Lamar Sally last month after he first filed for legal separation and began a custody battle to get their baby is due via surrogate on July 28. Sherri hopes to dust herself off and 'try not to make the same mistake' again now that she's moving on from her marriage of nearly three years, The View host told US Weekly at the Samsung Hope For Children Gala in New York City on Tuesday.

'I say you can't beat yourself up. When you know you've made the wrong choice in a guy you look, you do some introspective work, and you try not to make the same mistake.

If you do, get back up, dust your feet off, and start walking and moving forward.'

The View co-host filed for divorce on May 2 and has also asked for full legal and physical custody of her yet-to-be-born baby in the proceedings.



She was looking fabulous at the Samsung event in a black and gold sparkly number and black platform heels. Giving a little advice for others who may be going through a split, she said:

'Have really good friends around you, so you have a soft landing place. I have a lot of really wonderful friends [who] say "erase that!"

When the dust settles, you figure out what went wrong—but as long as you're alive and you can breathe, you [can] get up and keep going. For me, my child can't afford to see Mommy having a nervous breakdown. It's not in the cards.'

Last month, Lamar expressed his anger that Shepherd may miss the birth of their unborn baby.

She has arranged to perform at a gospel festival in Virginia on July 19 and Lamar has warned her he will be furious if she misses it.

The baby will be Shepherd's second child; she is currently involved in a custody dispute with ex husband Jeff Tarpley over their nine-year-old son.


Read more: Dailymail

Pregnant Mila Kunis Dazzles in Black Satin Mini-dress and High Heels

Posted: 12 Jun 2014 06:03 AM PDT


Mila Kunis has been glowing throughout her pregnancy and showing off an ecletic maternity style. She was ultra casual on an outing with fiance Ashton Kutchner the other day and now, she Mila Kunis proves she can still get red carpet ready with great maternity wear.  

She looked absolutely stunning for the premiere of Third Person in Hollywood on Monday wearing a billowing, sleeveless black dress, short in front, and longer in the back. Her toned legs were put on display in nude pumps to give her a slimmer silhoutte.

Photos - Two Teenage Students Die During Balcony Sex As They Fall From The Sixth Floor

Posted: 12 Jun 2014 01:54 PM PDT


A 19-year-old Russian, Anastasia Tutik, and Miguel Ramos, 18, from Mexico died instantly after falling from the sixth floor of a flat where they had just met at a party to mark the end of their exams.

They were celebrating at a luxury apartment block in Deptford, south-east London, with fellow students from Bellerbys College, an international school which charges fees of up to £21,000 a year.

Witnesses described hearing a huge bang in the early hours.

Neighbour Samson Oguntayo, 32, and his partner Blessing witnessed the tragic accident in the early hours of Wednesday morning. He said,


"They were trying to have sex on the balcony, the guy was lifting the girl and putting her on the banister, he kept on doing it.

"He was putting her on there – they were going back and forth. You could see they were doing some really dangerous stuff.

"The last thing I expected was to see them falling down. We just screamed."

Stuart Harrison, 38, saw their bodies lying on his neighbour's patio. He said:

"The man was lying face up on his back and the girl was cuddled up next to him. So it looked like they fell together.

"They were surrounded by a massive pool of blood. The blood was all around them.

"It was shocking. I haven't been able to sleep. I can't get the sight of them out of my mind."

It is thought Miguel had only moved to England a week ago to study business.

His distraught parents were expected to fly into Britain today. His father, Miguel Lozano Munguia, is a prominent Mexican politician, the former mayor of the town of Pesqueria in the north east of the country and the ex-head of the centre-left Institutional Revolutionary Party (PRI) in the state of Nueva Leon.

His friend Alfonso, also from Mexico, denied the pair were having sex at the riverside flat in Deptford, south east London. He said:

"They met at the party. He liked her and she liked him so they went onto the balcony to make out – to kiss and cuddle.

"They were alone on the balcony. Everyone else stayed inside to give them some space."

Pal Ahmed Idam, 22, said: "He was a really funny guy. We are all shocked because he's a friend.

Alfonso added:

"Anastasia was very pretty – slim, blonde with green eyes – but she was very intelligent as well. She was one of the top students in the class.

"She was studying A-levels and she was hoping to go to university in September."

Anastasia went to £35,000-a-year Bellerbys College in Deptford where friends were being offered counselling. Miguel was at the nearby Embassy College.

Scotland Yard said they were treating the incident as a "tragic accident".

Via Mirror UK

My Everything - Kim Shares Wedding Picture With North and Kanye West

Posted: 12 Jun 2014 03:03 AM PDT


Kim Kardashian West is reported to be off with Kanye West on the second leg of their Honeymoon in Mexico. But she took some time off to post this picture above of Kanye carrying North West on their wedding day. She tagged it "my everything."

Meanwhile, Khloe shared the candid picture below of Kanye talking to all the Kardashian/Jenner sisters, including Mama Kris Jenner and baby Nori. The only one not in the picture is Kim, I guess she was too busy getting ready for the nuptials :)

Robin Thicke Will Name Forthcoming Album Paula After Estranged Wife

Posted: 12 Jun 2014 01:54 PM PDT


Robin Thicke really wants to get his girl back, that is, his estranged wife, Paula Patton, whom he seperated from earlier this year. The singer will even go as naming his forthcoming album after his estranged wife Paula Patton. The couple have been together over 20 years, they started dating in high school, got married in 2005 and they have a four-year-old son together.

According to US Magazine, the new album will be out on July 1st and will be named "Paula".

It will include the single "Get Her Back," which the chart-topping star debuted at the 2014 Billboard Music Awards in May. Introducing the song onstage, Thicke said, "All right, y'all, help me get her back."


Together since high school, the longtime sweethearts announced their decision to separate back in February, after nearly 9 years of marriage. A source told Us Weekly at the time that Thicke "wanted to save their marriage, but it was Paula's choice and she ended it." The insider added, "Robin does not want this divorce."

Since then, the "Give It 2 U" singer has made several public attempts to woo his ex, with whom he shares son Julian, 3. Days after their split, he dedicated a song to Patton at a concert in Fairfax, VA., telling the crowd, "For y'all that don't know, me and my wife separated but I'm trying to get my girl back."

Advice From Britain's Oldest Married Couple to Young Couples, They've Been Married 75 Years

Posted: 12 Jun 2014 07:45 AM PDT


Joseph Littlewood, 98, and wife Sally, 99, have just celebrated their 75th wedding anniversary and they believe regular marital arguments helped their love last over the years - but only because they learned to move on after each tiff. From their own experience, the Littlewoods also believe that long courtships and engagements, and not moving in together too quickly, are vital to a long-lasting marriage.

The couple who met at a dance hall 81 years ago in 1933, only got engaged three years later in 1936. They equally got married after a three-year engagement in 1939 as World War II broke out. With six years between the time they met and when they got married, their relationship is still going strong today in 2014, 75 years after they took their vows.


When asked of the advice they would give young people still single or newly married, the couple said:

'The advice I would give to young people getting married these days is to argue lots but always remember to get over it. It is never worth stewing over. People always have arguments, and in 75 years we are going to have had a lot, but the key is to move on.

When we were young, people just stuck together - back then we had courtship and that has now gone by the wayside. A quick wedding wasn't done in those days and a long engagement gave you time to get to know each other and know if they were who you wanted.

Kids these days move in together not really knowing what they want from each other. If you are going to move in with someone, or marry them, you have to know you love them. Everyone is getting divorced these days. They have quick marriages and I just think people do not have what they want. They go to live with each other too soon when in reality if you do that you should be in love with each other.

Great love, great faith and a great family have kept us together.'

Kerry Washington Looks Amazing on the Red Carpet Barely Two Months After Baby's Birth

Posted: 11 Jun 2014 10:55 PM PDT


Kerry Washington gave birth to her daughter Isabelle Amarachi Asomugha barely two months ago [see here], and she's looking stunning back on the red carpet. The actress showed off her trim figure in a black top with a deep neckline and a high-waisted flowery skirt, finished off with matching orange heels.

The 37-year-old made her red carpet return at the Women In Film Crystal + Lucy Awards at the Hyatt Regency Century Plaza in Los Angeles. See more photos below...





The non-profit organization Women In Film honours extraordinary women in the entertainment industry at their annual benefit gala, the Crystal + Lucy Awards.

Kerry Washington was honoured with the Lucy Award for Excellence in Television, while actresses Cate Blanchett, Eva Longoria, Rose Byrne, and Jennifer Lee will also be recognized with their own awards.
And it looked as if Kerry could barely contain her excitement as she took to the red carpet.

With Legendary actress, Diahann Carroll

With Nicola Maramotti

With Eva Longoria
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