Romance Meets Life |
| How to Keep Your Sex Life Fresh and Vibrant in Marriage Posted: 10 Feb 2014 06:57 PM PST  When it comes to marriage, many couples often expect their sex lives to take care of themselves; the reality is that it is an important aspect of relationships that needs tended to like anything else. If you never changed the oil in your car, would you be surprised when the engine stopped working? Once we realize that a boring sex life is not a broken sex life, that's when we can start working toward improving intimacy in our relationships. As you know, a very important part of a healthy marriage begins in the bedroom and you should these tips to keep it alive and well. Intimacy is more than just sex: Touching your husband or wife in sexy ways outside the bedroom -a squeeze here, a massage there - will remind you both that the bustle of daily life can give way to the rustle of nighttime get-togethers. It's important to remember that intimacy doesn't just occur in the bedroom. Set aside special times to be intimate with one another, for example, cooking together, setting aside times to give each other massages, reading to one another, dance lessons, etc. It is so easy in this busy world to become like 'business' partners or roommates, each of you attending to the daily tasks of running a home, family and a career. Communicate: This is very important. Let your spouse know your sexual likes and dislikes in a non-confrontational way. The more both of you become more comfortable communicating your needs, the more likely you are to experiment and try new things. No one is to blame for a stale sex life but those who give up on their sex lives without giving it their all. And remember, in a marriage, you're more than lovers, you're also best friends; communicating on a friendship level means always choosing your words and actions with respect and care and always approaching one another in an open and honest way. Use sex to get past ruts in your marriage: There will be times in your marriage when careers, family, kids, friends, hobbies and other important tasks will pack your schedule and get in the way of maintaining a good relationship. There will be periods when the two of you are not communicating well and don't seem to be connecting with each other. When you experience these ruts in your relationship, don't let sex go by the wayside. Use the time you have together wisely by getting frisky: If your marriage is experiencing a dip, it'll fall even further if the two of you don't connect sexually. Instead of abandoning your bedroom activities at the first sign of trouble, use sex to get back on track. Stop looking at her as your wife: Yes, she is the love of your life, the woman you chose to spend your days with until you both grow old. She is the mother of your children (if you have them) and a domestic goddess that runs your household and your family while still succeeding in a career and a myriad of other duties. In order to make married sex better, try to stop thinking of her as your adorable and adoring wife when the two of you get frisky. Allow your imagination to run wild; think of her as a sexpot and encourage her to play the part. Tap into the intense attraction you have for each other and forget that you're husband and wife. Make your room a no kid zone: Having a better sex life with your wife requires that you both take a step away from your everyday lives and focus on each other. If you are parents, this means that you're going to have to designate some space in your house for adult-only activities. To this end, consider making your bedroom a no-go area for your children. The kids usually have the run of the house, but if they know that mum and dad's room is off limits, you'll be more likely to have time and space to yourselves on a regular basis. Your bedroom will become a haven where it's all about the two of you. Don't wear pyjamas to bed: It's a well-known fact that many people - men and women alike - feel it's cool to let themselves go once the wedding vows are exchanged. Unfortunately, this is a one way street to problems with your sex life. If you no longer bother to put in the effort to make yourself attractive to your spouse, she could lose interest in being intimate with you. Keep the sex hot by maintaining your looks: This means you should not allow that hot body go just because you are now married and think no man will admire you. Your husband sure admires you and he will want you to be as sexy as the lady he met and fell in love. The same goes for the men who allow the pouch grow and the flabs come on. Try work outs once in a while, exercise and keep fit. The best thing about married sex: The major benefit of having sex in a long-term relationship is that you should be able to trust your partner and not be afraid to share all aspects of your sexuality with him or her. Get your fantasies out in the open, push your boundaries and create the right environment in order to keep exploring sex with the person you plan to grow old with. Override predictability: One of the biggest stumbling blocks to romance and intimacy is the tendency to become a slave to routine. It's easy for couples to get comfortable, never venturing out to try new things, or worse, never exploring new territories within the landscape of their relationship. Any activities that will encourage change and growth will more than likely bring the spark back from those endorphin-filled courtship days. While being predictable is comfortable, it isn't exactly an aphrodisiac! Shake things up by each of you making a list of 10 things you would like to try in or out of the bedroom and placing all of the ideas in a hat. Draw a couple per week from the hat and replenish monthly; this is sure to keep the excitement going all year long. Compiled by Pulse.ng |
| Stolen Valentine Kiss, A Flirty and Feisty Romance by Stella Eromonsere-Ajanaku [Guest Author] Posted: 10 Feb 2014 07:34 AM PST  Stella Eromonsere-Ajanaku is a fun loving mother of two, married to her very own gorgeous alpha male. She lives with her family in London after they relocated from Nigeria in 2007. In her leisure time, she goes swimming, reads romance novels, goes to Cinema, and watches TV. For her, writing romance novels is an exciting adventure that began in St Maria Gorretti Girls Grammar School, Benin City, Nigeria. She wrote play scripts that she acted out with my toys, then in 2010, she created Flirty & Feisty Romance Novels. Today, Stella has seven contemporary romance novels in the kitty, varying from sweet & sensual to spicy hot & steamy - LOITERING SHADOWS, STORMY DEFENSE, BEYOND the LADY, THE GARDENER'S ICE MAIDEN, SPARKLING DAWN and HUSBAND to RENT. To celebrate this Valentine season of love, this wonderful author has released STOLEN VALENTINE KISS (Holiday Series Book #1)- her first series and her first romantic novella. - What inspires you to write? My deep passion and love for all things romance, characters witty banter playing in my head and the extremely exciting idea of living happily after. - You describe your books as flirty and feisty, is that a specific writing style? Yes it is, Myne. My characters are usually fiesty in speech, flirty in body language and in their push to get what they want or what they subconsciously desire. I love a woman with spunk and spice. That's what inspired the umbrella title of my books - Flirty & Feisty. - What are your current projects? On my writing desk at the moment, my first historical romance, a trilogy is taking shape. A daunting challenge I must confess, but I love the characters and their journey so far. I have finished the first draft of book #1. - Do you see writing as a full-time career? Yes. I have left full time work and am now concentrating on writing as a full time career. I genuinely enjoy and love writing romance novels with a passion that alarms me. - Can you share a little about your writing routine? How does real life impact in your writing? I write every chance I get. The most productive time for me is very early in the morning, when the kids are in school or very late at night. I write my stories straight from the heart. Sometimes, I write down the background of my heroine and hero. Their personalities shine through as the story develops. Quite often, I'm taken by surprise at the sudden twist in the story. My routine is to write the first draft and set it aside to 'stew' for a week or more. Afterwards, I rewrite by trimming, fleshing out and adding detailed information obtained from research etc. The first and second editing follows later. When my husband and my children need my attention and am writing or editing, I struggle to please my family and my characters at the same time. My remedy is to sometimes write when they are all asleep or away from home. I can write with the TV volume turned up, conversation flowing about football, my husband singing or playing the piano with my children chatting about WWE wrestlers and their teenage celebs.  - Tell us what inspired your latest book, Stolen Valentine Kiss, and more about what the novella is about. Stolen Valentine Kiss was triggered by a reader who left a comment on a photo I uploaded on Facebook. She said she thought it was my new book. I went to bed, and in the morning, I had a title. It was the title that inspired the story. In this story, I imagined one kiss being taken without first asking and the fuss the unexpected romantic act will cause. In addition, I decided the heroine should have health problems because I recently went through a period of illness and the amazing love I received from my deeply caring husband, my beloved family and friends is helping me heal. I believe readers can relate to a flawed heroine. In STOLEN VALENTINE KISS, Lorna is racked by grief and bad memories of Valentine. She turns her back on London and jets off on a spontaneous holiday to New Jersey to take her mind off her emotional and health issues. When she meets Logan, an unexpected emotional journey triggered by Valentine season begins. - Is there anything you find particularly challenging in your writing? Definitely. Writing the story is the easy part. Editing and polishing is my challenge. I'm working on that. Like everything in life, you keep practicing and improving. - When and why did you begin writing? When did you first consider yourself a writer? I started writing in my secondary school days. Drama fascinated me to the point where I wrote plays - Act one, Scene One. Lol! I only considered myself a writer when I got published in 2010. - What books have most influenced your life most? The host of Mills and Boons romance novels I spent time reading as a teenager have influenced me. The various books opened my eyes and head to a whole lot of interesting places I wished to see and I learnt how men and women think and feel about romance. In every book, I swayed with the characters as they experienced conflict and struggled to overcome every hurdle to find love. The stories taught me a lot. But I yearned for a bit more banter in the stories, a dash of fire in the heroine and less description of the location. I find witty and flippant dialogue engaging as a reader. So, I decided to write about feisty female characters with overt or covert seductive personalities. - Who is your favorite author and what is it that really strikes you about their work? I still remember Carole Mortimer's novels from way back. I like her writing style and stories. At the moment, I don't have a favourite author. Before I became an author, I read every romance story I laid my hands on. The Author's name wasn't important to me, the story was. I laughed and cried with the characters but I forgot the Author's name as soon as I moved to the next novel. If you had to choose, which writer would you say writes in about the same line or genre as your book? You know, like if you like this book, then you'll also like mine? I believe I have a unique way of telling my story. What I have done is alter what's in the market by playing down the usually lengthy description of places. My books are shaped by the strong characters flippant dialogue mixed with a spicy dose of African flavour. An upscale in my heroine flirty personality sometimes shock readers. - Are there any new authors that have grasped your interest? What books are you reading now? Yes, I like Netty Ejike's writing. Many other African Authors have left their mark in my head. Marriage by Mistake by Alyssa Kress is top of my reading list right now. - How has having a social media presence - blogging, Facebook and Twitter - affected the success of your books? Oh yes, it has in a phenomenal way. The social media is a wide platform to communicate with people you know and many others around the world. It provides the market for readers round the globe to pick up my book, which is great. - Do you hope or plan to be one day published or sold in Nigeria? A big yes! I have tried to penetrate the Nigerian market without success. In 2011, a friend of mine came to visit me in London, we spoke about selling Flirty & Feisty romance in Nigeria. We shipped two boxes of LOITERING SHADOWS to Nigeria and it sold out quickly even at the high price of three thousand naira each. We sold through a book shop in VI. Nigerians leave cooments for me on Facebook frequently asking for the outlets where they can buy my books in Nigeria. The point is, until I can secure a publisher in Nigeria, it wll be impossible to compete in the mass market. My dream is to publish in Nigeria, sell across Africa and turn my books into Nigeria movies by God's Grace. - What comments do you have about the reading culture in Nigeria? I think Nigerians have a wide reading taste especially in the South. The main issue is affordability. That's why its important to reach the vast market through affordable paperback Flirty & Feisty Romance Novels. - Do you have anything specific that you want to say to your readers? My readers inspire me and I'm thankful to every single one who has invested time and money in Flirty & Feisty Romance Novels. My new release, STOLEN VALENTINE KISS is a heart warming romance to celebrate Valentine. Keep reading and have a romantic Valentine Day. ______________ Stella Eromonsere-Ajanaku Creator/Author Flirty & Feisty Romance Novels Our promise...is to deliver an intensely emotional experience you will never forget. Website: http://www.flirtyandfeistyromancenovel.co.uk Blog: http://flirtyandfeistyromance.blogspot.co.uk Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4538936.Stella_Eromonsere_Ajanaku Amazon Author Page: http://www.amazon.com/Stella-Eromonsere-Ajanaku/e/B004LXE09E Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/interview/StellaE1 Twitter: https://mobile.twitter.com/StellaEA Jesus Loves You |
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