Romance Meets Life |
| Facebook Personalities By Baba Willy - Part 2 Posted: 01 Mar 2014 11:09 AM PST  Read Part 1 Facebook means that everybody is now a reporter. In the 60s, only journalists could report on events for they were the only ones with sole access to photo libraries and information. They also had the platform to reach a wide audience which was the Newspaper. Now everybody is a journalist reporting live from our living rooms. Google is there for research and any image can be uploaded in a second. Some report only on themselves as they have become biased into thinking that their every sneeze is a newsworthy item. Everyone is also fantasy writer. In the past only writers like Mark Twain could write books like The adventures of Tom Sawyer and weave in stories from their childhood into the narrative. Very few could ever hope to share their fantasies with the world in books such as Alice in Wonderland and Peter Pan. Secret worlds of ideas in an author's mind are channelled out through characters in a book aiding self expression. Today, everyone is that Peter Pan or Alice in wonderland. Everyone is both author and star in their own fantasy world. Everyone has a potential international audience for anyone could go viral at any minute. Armed with a smart phone, we are our own Camera crew and ace photographer on location. Our lives are that movie. Everyone is a star. Now since everyone is a star, that means you need a publicity photograph and so it is off to the studio for your publicity shoot and woe betide your photographer if he does not hand you soft copies for easy uploading on social media after your session or if he is a bit weak in the air brushing department. Facebook is a mirror into the soul of all personalities. Since everyone is a script writer and image consultant, only putting forth words and images that would enhance their persona, it follows that all persons are slightly devious and manipulating. But what does a Facebook page tell us about a person? Introverts. Going on their page you are likely to find the same picture of a Bus, or tropical beach that you saw three years ago. They are not going to have much pictures uploaded in their albums, perhaps less than twenty in number and they tend not to like or comment anything. They are secret agents who observe and think deeply. They may come out once in a while to comment on a topic they feel strongly about but they just love to watch. Extroverts. These ones have a thousand or more photographs. They would daily like, comment and post status up dates. They get bored easily and want to know what is new. They also prefer that the new things are happening to them and not you hence their competitive streak. They might lose sleep if their last picture upload had less than 30 likes and if their status updates have less that the number of likes they had forecasted. They are also deeply interested in how many Facebook friends others have compared to themselves. Projecting an image of wit is so important to them that they openly plagiarize Facebook status updates to enhance likability Both Introverts and Extroverts can get really crazy. Now crazy is when your Facebook habit starts to interfere with your life, like missing working just to be on Facebook or losing sleep in preference of nosing around other peoples pages. Getting depressed when someone unfriends you is also a such sign that craze don start. Introvert Facebook- craze people. They are silent obsessives. They study other people to the point where they become cyber stalkers. They have a self-loathing vibe going on and believe firmly that other people's lives are more colourful than theirs, so they go from page to page admiring, hating, envying but saying nothing. They believe what they see or read and easily get the wrong end of the stick. In real life it is so hard to look people in the eye for more than a few seconds. It is hard to look at their bodies without being accused of staring and shy people are less likely to look. Facebook is a Godsend to the shy introverts. In the safety of their rooms a picture can be analysed for many minutes. Introverts can get envious of the extroverts pretending to live the fabulous life (usually on credit) but just keep on watching and waiting till one day they snap and write some inappropriate comment out of the blue that reveals their secret beef. Bad Belle.com. Gossiping can be rife as can be spying. Ex partners are watched and followed closely. These Facebook CIAs rather than make new friends and get on with life look to see what the ex is currently doing then moan about it. Some Facebook crazy introverts are cynical to a fault. They don't believe anyone and trust no one. They are full of conspiracy theories on just about everything because they think too much to the point of being worrisome. They love negative stories and always upload scandals, people's mistakes, breaking news about rape, murders, and robberies and love to upload grotesque pictures of decapitated human remains or nasty road accidents. These nuters have lost that side of their humanity that cares about not causing offence with macabre imagery. In the anonymous shadows of their bedrooms they pour filth forth. Extrovert Facebook-craze people. Image conscious and attention seeking junkies will do anything for a few likes. Uploading more than 3 selfies a day or 5 status updates a day means craze don start (Babawilly don craze long ago). It might represent not dealing with the harsh realities of mundane life and seeking distraction in the pseudo-glamour of looking beautiful on Facebook. The female members of this group have even invented the 'back the camera shot' where ample hips can be displayed to the world. If you have got it flaunt it (and if you have not got it, pad it abi?) Some joke too much sef. They up load just too many jokes. (Can any one be so happy?) More than 6 jokes a week usually mean the owner of the page has something to hide. Maybe some sad and painful incident. Sleeping on a raffia mat on a dusty floor and rolling with the roaches all night can scar a young heart leading to a life time of trying to medicate the cruel past with over enthusiastic jollity. Attention seekers would change their hair style frequently at great expense, just to appear to be having a good time. No private moment is sacred to the attention seeker. Photo opportunities cannot be missed and must be seized at once. Appearing to be having a nice time on Facebook is actually more important than actually having a nice time to these vain folk. Woes betide you if you go on a date with such. So many selfies, the phone will almost fall into your plate of food. (Narcissist United FC) A word of warning though, beware of the super extroverts who always have something to sell. They would turn your Facebook page into a shopping mall. They are the ones who know how you could make $4 Million a week sitting at home and how to win laptops and computers. No millionaire ever made his money sitting down on Facebook looking at pictures. It is a big fat lie. I cannot end without chipping in my denials here. My dear aunty asked 'why you dey sleep for Facebook '. I have just thought up my reply. 'Aunty, I no dey sleep for Facebook but the words I write do. It is just an illusion'. For those who claim they are not Facebook junkies, close your Facebook account for three months. Dats all. Babawilly Dr Wilson Orhiunu 21-2-2014 Disclaimer- Na joke I dey o! This is not a medical article. Also, even if I tick all the boxes, I no bi Facebook-craze man        |
| Facebook Personality Types Part 1 Posted: 01 Mar 2014 11:07 AM PST  By Babawilly I stood before my mother armed with my Sony camera, waiting for that look on her face that said 'I am now ready'. As she adjusted her hand bag and pushed a little at her glasses, she did not implore me not to cut her head or take an out of focus picture. She simply communicated her hope. 'Wilson, I hope this is not going straight to Facebook'. There you have it. That indeed is a diagnosis if there ever was one. If it is true that mother knows best, then I can safety conclude that I have a 'Facebook problem'. Like all people with social media ailments of the brain, denial came as second nature. 'But I don't put everything on Facebook' I said. Those around smiled knowingly. Well, in my defence, I am not the only one. There is safety and comfort in numbers. With millions of users (9 % being fake registrations, you them. The girls in love with your profile picture just wanting to know you better) there has to be a myriad of Facebook neurotics out there. Now what is a bit of colo-mentality between friends? We cannot all be normal can we? I cannot remember who said this but there is a school of thought that says if people point you out as having a problem, you do indeed have a problem. Please don't argue. If more than one person says you have a Facebook problem, that is your diagnosis. The more you deny it, the guiltier you appear. Take your diagnosis like a man and join the brotherhood of millions and sing like the Party Rock Anthem Guys- Everyday I'm shuffling or I'm crazy and I know it. The life of a Facebook crazy individual starts with the Facebook shuffle. You reach over and grab that smart phone first. There is no need kissing your loved one with a bad breath is there? Morning pleasantries with real human beings can wait joor. Alone with your phone, you get notified about all the birthdays in your social circle and you give a shout-out or 'like'. Best thing about Facebook is Birthday alerts. No more birthday cards because we love to save the rain forest. Next come birthdays of those too young to be addicted to Facebook; you friends' cute babies. Here is where the women go 'awww' and the men think 'School fees o!' You like and move on. Next the new born babies get liked and parents congratulated. That is followed by the ultrasound scans queuing up to be liked (picture na picture). Then the wedding anniversaries start to filter in. 12 years ago on the day I said 'I do' to my angel…… 12 years a wife…….and the Oscar goes to… (I promised myself not to be cynical in this article). Next you start to like all the wonderful holidays (suppressing the urge to be envious), selfies (suppressing the urge to comment 'you no get work o'), quotations, complains about Nigeria, more cute babies, videos off YouTube etc. etc. and amazingly all this is done while still sitting on the toilet before you have even have had the chance to brush your teeth. If Aretha Franklin was starting her career out in this day and age, the song I Say A Little Prayer would have gone, "each morning I wake you, before my weave and make-up, I like a Facebook picture of you"…. Shower, get dressed and breakfast. Breakfast might even be photographed and uploaded to Facebook. This is the story of the millions of Facebook crazy folks out there. Since people and personalities vary, what we see on Facebook will reflect the diversity of mental states of the humans behind the pages. The world can be roughly divided into extroverts and introverts. The extroverts come up close to you and talk with their mouth full of Gala while the introverts keep their distance not wanting to offend or encroach on your personal space (There is no introvert in Nigeria). These introverts think so deeply that by the time they arrive at a conclusion, the moment might have passed. They are always thinking about the future so it is no surprise they don't wear the current and trendy clothes. These introverts own tomorrow but are not in touch with today. They are the likes of Steve Jobs, Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg. Never the life of the party but in the long run, they are the main facilitators of the world party. Nothing new there. We always knew that Extroverts made money fast and lost it faster while crafty introverts cook up sure ways of relieving the extroverts of the burden of managing finances. They manufacture the bright and shining item that never fails to attract the attention and wallets of the flamboyant extroverts. Both personalities groups, the introverts and extroverts, share similarities in their experiences on Facebook. Social media has changed everyone forever. Everybody is now a DJ. Thanks to YouTube you can put up links of any music on the planet. Everyone can shoot films from their phone that go viral. Technology has made life easier for all. I recall a day in University in the 80s when we had such a brilliant day in the sun and were taking pictures of ourselves. It took two months to see the photographs and the owner of the camera had no money to develop the film. It was worth the wait however. That is a wait not for today's generation. A few seconds after a nice time, the pictures are on Facebook for the World to see. To think there was a time you attended weddings and did not get to see the pictures for months! Read Part 2! Babawilly Dr Wilson Orhiunu 21-2-2014     |
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