Romance Meets Life |
- Depressed First Lady, Clara Chime, Under House Arrest By Her Husband, the Governor of Enugu State?
- What Works and What Doesn't Work in Real Life Relationships
- Omoni Oboli Writes Husband Nnamdi a Lovely Message To Mark Their Wedding Anniversary
- Life With Boko Haram - Opinion By Adaobi Tricia Nwaubani
- Short Story: Late by Uche Peter Umez
- [Web Series] Waiting... Episode 6
| Depressed First Lady, Clara Chime, Under House Arrest By Her Husband, the Governor of Enugu State? Posted: 28 Oct 2013 04:03 PM PDT  The story of Clara Chime's detention in her own home by her estranged husband, Governor Sullivan Chime has just been published by Sahara Reporters and though it has not been corrobaorated by any other news source, I wonder if there are not elements of truth in it? I hope she gets the help she needs if it turns out indeed that the governor is using his office and her fragile mental health against her. According to SR, Clara Chime, the First Lady of Enugu State, says Governor Sullivan Chime, has placed her under house arrest, and has cried out for assistance to reach human rights bodies to rescue her.        |
| What Works and What Doesn't Work in Real Life Relationships Posted: 28 Oct 2013 03:04 PM PDT  By Eniola Lawal So the last time I wrote on 'when your man needs space', a guy made it point blank that we need to write in to help them too. Not like my posts don't do that already, but I will fulfill my promise soonest to write specifically for the guys. You know as a lady, I know what our shortcomings can be in a relationship, I know what we like and what we don't which makes it quite easy to point out what the ladies have to bear in mind. For this post, I decided to use a practical method. I spoke to some guys, asked them what they like and dislike in their different relationships, they all gave good answers with some common to them all. Let's go... TRUST: As it has been clearly stated by them through me, our men needs us to trust them, after they have given us theirs. It is no news that a relationship with no trust is an absolute waste of time, no matter the effort you put in. We should always learn to trust our men. Now, for the curious minds, even when he has betrayed it before? It is a two way junction; you either face the fact that you can't stand his infidelity anymore and move on without him, or accept him back, when you decide to give him another chance, never tag your mind with the thought of him messing up again! You have to put in all your trust, remember you had the chance to let go of everything but you didn't, then stand your ground and win the game! GOOD AND CONSTANT COMMUNICATION: When I talk about why relationships work out well, good and consistent communication is the second thing I mention, if not first. There is one thing everybody has to put in mind, change is a very constant thing, not about in the relationship here, but in personality , some little ones are bound to occur in your partner in your course of dating, very inevitable. Good, constant and open communication makes you aware of it and everything that's going on with your partner, it makes you adjust to it without hassles even before either of you realizes it. Lack of it causes whole lots of misconceptions and quarrels, so when our men demands for it, it is very normal and necessary, as a matter of fact they are not asking for too much. COMMITMENT: Just as exactly stated by the person that mentioned it, there is a stage in one's life when you play around relationships, and there comes a time when you have to be able to give your relationship a good definition. Commitment can only be requested for by your 'man-boyfriend' when he has shown it, my dear he wouldn't ask for it if he doesn't mean business. So, if you are not ready to commit to your man, you had better leave him and look out for 'kid-boyfriends', you can bet they never heard of that word! RESPECT AND REGARD: Respect is reciprocal, if you don't respect your man, it's not likely he will respect you, and it will in turn hurt you so much. Have you thought about what he feels like when you don't give him due respect? More hurt than you may understand. Learn to respect your man, even if you are older than him, regard his decisions, opinions and wishes over either just you or the both of you. GOOD ATTITUDE: That is the beauty of we ladies, if we don't have it, sorry but we have nothing. This is what speaks for us, everywhere! The first thing a man assesses in a woman is her attitude, when it doesn't mark, then zer0! We all ladies should know the outcome, he either changes his mind about you or keeps you by the side, while he has his eyes wide open for a woman who possess a good one. That's all! ABILITY TO RELATE WELL WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS: Yes, they take that very seriously. Why? They want to 1. have a smooth relationship in all when it comes to you 2. they want to be able to trust you with them all by yourself 3. they want to simply have rest of mind. If you can't relate with their family and friends well, they will do a lot of thinking over you and the result might not come out fair. INFIDELITY: Guys we know! You don't need to tell us. As a matter of extreme seriousness, we know the consequences of it and we won't venture into it! Ladies, just to re-assure ourselves, even when he is not sincere, don't go down that line with him of tit for tat, worst case scenario, leave! Because when he catches you, the world will forget about his own and concentrate on yours. I'm not supposed to explain what will happen to you when he's very sincere to you, NO! JEALOUSY, ENDURANCE AND TEMPERAMENT: We all know guys can be so good at disciplining their 'jealous mind' and making it inconspicuous like it doesn't exist, they say they want same from us. Is that possible? We'll have a meeting over that. Guys, don't feel hyped but we accept your ability to endure and at times comport your temperament, we give you credit over that. We would just like you to know that we get jealous because we care a whole lot about you and our relationship, on this note we all have our different level of endurance but we will put more effort. About our temperament, keep praying to God for us. ABILITY TO COOK WELL: Love fades, hunger doesn't! Lie! Our own love, the love our men has for us doesn't fade which makes them demand good food from us, so they say! Once again, in the classification of women, one who can't cook well is left out. On a more serious note, if you don't provide good food for your husband, where is he supposed to get it from? The men has pointed this out because they don't want to go else where, it will be very sad if we allow them. There are various cookery books, various cooking TV. shows that we can learn from, for those who are good already, improving skills is not a bad idea. BEING THERE AT ALL TIMES: All of the guys I spoke to mentioned this, and they made it clear enough that we have to be there for them at all times in all aspect. Fine, to all guys reading this, I will personally like to break this point down. If you have already put one or two bands on the ring finger; we are obligated to be there for you at all times and in all aspect; sex, you want to talk, you need a shoulder to cry on during the tough times, name it! If not, in my own personal opinion, the love we have for you will make us be there for you but for or against our will not all the time. I call it discipline, it is now left to you to accept and appreciate the time we're available and hope for the time we will be obligated to, which we will with love and joy.     |
| Omoni Oboli Writes Husband Nnamdi a Lovely Message To Mark Their Wedding Anniversary Posted: 28 Oct 2013 12:08 PM PDT  Omoni Oboli and her husband Nnamdi Oboli have been married 13 years, and the couple have three sons. To mark their wedding anniversary, which is 28th October, the Nollywood actress wrote this really touching message on Instagram to share the happy day with her fans and what keeps them together and going strong, "Do you know what today is? It's our anniversary!!! Celebrating 13 years of love. Counting my blessings… I might not have what others have but I have the most amazing man! Yes I said it! The most AMAZING!!! A girl could not have asked for a better man. My best friend, my lover, my champion, my biggest fan, my voltron, my baby daddy, the wind beneath my wings!!! I love you with all my being" #13thanniversary #blessedmarriage #thankingGod #canyouseethe3rdperson? #Jesusinmymarriage #awesomeGod #omonioboli #nnamdiobolirocksmajorly #wifemotheractress #wannashoutitfromtherooftops #iamatworkthough #butitsallgood #wecelebrateatnight"     |
| Life With Boko Haram - Opinion By Adaobi Tricia Nwaubani Posted: 28 Oct 2013 12:09 PM PDT  In December 2010, Nigeria experienced its first wave of terrorist bombings at Christian churches. In 2011, we had our first-ever suicide car bombing, at the United Nations headquarters here. The explosion rattled my nearby office building. Flinging myself on the floor, I assumed it was an earthquake. A bomb was still the last thing on my mind. Just a few years ago, we thought terrorism was something that happened in faraway countries, like Israel. Now we know differently; the threat hangs over us all the time. Some weeks ago, shortly before Nigeria's independence day, I received a mass text message. Nigeria was going to turn 53 years old a few days later, on Oct. 1, and there were concerns that the terrorist group Boko Haram might have planned something special to mark the big day in the country's capital city. "Dear All," the message read, "The Diplomatic Missions in Abuja have received a security alert today morning from the Federal Govt requesting everyone to stay indoors and not to visit any shopping malls or public places which is crowded for the next few days. Please inform all your dear ones!" Over the past few years, as Boko Haram has devastated Northern Nigeria, I have received many variations of this message. Thankfully, this one seemed to be a fake: a friend, who works as the head of security for a multinational company in Abuja, said there had been no communication from the federal government. Nevertheless, he advised that I stay home as much as possible over the next few days. But one cannot perpetually live in bondage to fear. Less than 36 hours later, two friends and I took our seats at the Abuja Hilton for Crack Ya Ribs — a comedy show scheduled as part of the independence festivities. The event was organized by Julius D'Genius Agwu, a celebrated Nigerian comedian. In his opening remarks, he mentioned the warning that I — apparently along with much of the rest of the crowd — had received. Reading it had irked him, he said. Was it a coincidence that similar warnings went viral each time he traveled from Lagos to organize a show in Abuja? Had it been sent by his enemies (which in Nigeria can mean anything from jealous relatives to rival comedians to witches)? He had blasted the warning to all his contacts, after first making some slight alterations: The Diplomatic Missions in Abuja have received an alert today morning from the Federal Govt requesting everyone to attend Crack Ya Ribs ... Over the course of the evening, a good number of the jokes at which the audience belted out the most explosive laughter were inspired by the terrorists and their antics. One comedian had come from Jos, a city a few hours north of us that has suffered many losses to Boko Haram. After the audience politely applauded his entrance, he feigned outrage. Had we not read the many headlines proclaiming hundreds dead around Jos? Did we not realize how much it took to have survived, to be there to make us laugh? He then stormed off the stage in a huff, returning only when the audience stood and accorded him a more raucous welcome. The ability to laugh and remain optimistic amid the most dire circumstances remains one of the enduring characteristics of Nigerians. Perhaps this is one reason we find it so hard to believe that the terrorists are our own fellow citizens. It is difficult to imagine a single Nigerian who would willingly leave this world by blowing himself to smithereens. Much easier to imagine is that they have infiltrated our land from neighboring countries — Chad or Niger, perhaps. This suspicion was captured in a joke by IGoDye, another of the performers at Crack Ya Ribs, who spoke in pidgin English. He said he wouldn't argue with anyone who accused a Nigerian of being a 419 scammer — referring to the country's notorious connection to advanced fee fraud (if you've ever received an e-mail beginning "I crave your distinguished indulgence" and ending with a request to send your bank account number in return for a large cash transfer, you've come into contact with a 419 scammer). But you can't accuse us of being terrorists, he continued. Nigerians are no terrorists. He gave the example of Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, the Nigerian who, on Christmas Day 2009, boarded a flight to Detroit and failed in his attempt to blow up the plane with explosives concealed in his underwear. Mr. Abdulmutallab was given money to make a bomb, he agreed to take the bomb onto a plane and detonate it, he was given payment to carry out the job, he promised to carry out the job, and then he boarded the plane but ended up not detonating the bomb. "That sounds like a 419 scammer to me, not a terrorist." Making light of the situation helps us cope with the constant threat of violence. Every Sunday morning when I pull up to the concrete road blocks outside my church, policemen surround my car. One peeps through the window at my driver, his finger hovering close to the trigger of his gun. Another slides a bomb detector beneath the vehicle, then ransacks the trunk. "We apologize for the inconvenience," my pastor often says from the pulpit. "We're only doing this to make you feel safe." But not every school or office can afford to hire guards and bomb detectors. I've heard some Abuja residents rationalize their insecurity by saying "something will end up killing you, anyway." Especially in a place like Nigeria, with its many opportunities for death made easy. The plane in which you are flying could fall from the sky. The "doctor" performing your brain surgery may have never attended medical school. The bottle of water from the supermarket could have been scooped directly from someone's bathtub. Terrorists are just one more addition to the roster. They cause enough damage when they strike; we must limit their interference with the rest of our lives. That's why we welcome events like Crack Ya Ribs. We must continue to go about our business, to live and to laugh. Adaobi Tricia Nwaubani is the author of the novel "I Do Not Come to You by Chance." Via the NYT     |
| Short Story: Late by Uche Peter Umez Posted: 28 Oct 2013 12:08 PM PDT  Amaka had developed this chafing habit of ignoring Chike each time he asked her a question, as if she saw him as one who had to be tolerated. Chike often tried to stomach it, since she looked mostly frazzled, even at sunrise. His two boys were a storm, he knew. Their tantrums could wreak your mind, their teacher had complained. Yet he snarled, 'I hate it when you act deaf.' Amaka sank on the sofa with a sigh, and stared off. 'Woman, am I not talk –?' 'Honey. You're late,' she cut in. Barely managing to remain calm, Chike snatched his car-key from the centre table and stomped out the flat. 'Imagine, you're late,' Chike mimicked his wife as he shot past Wetheral Roundabout, forgetting to brake a little. Catching a flash of something behemoth, he swerved his wheel left, too sharply to evade it. Between the yawning ditch and the flying trailer, Chike felt his heart catch in his throat and saw his life in reverse – the image of himself snarling at his wife before his children engraved behind his eyelids. _______ Read More Uche Peter Umez - http://ucheumez.sentinelpoetry.org.uk/     |
| [Web Series] Waiting... Episode 6 Posted: 28 Oct 2013 01:00 AM PDT  The week back at work was brutal; it felt as if I was gone for a year rather than a week with the amount of work I had to catch up on. My only weekend plans involved me not leaving my apartment, a movie marathon and my comfortable college sweatpants. Friday came later than expected but I was still grateful because I hadn't had any downtime at work since the week began. I got home at about 5:30pm, changed and was fast asleep by 5:50pm. I woke up at around 11pm to a couple of text messages from Tayo asking what I was up to, why I wasn't responding to her texts and blah blah blah, the last one read; "You better be dead if you're not responding to my texts oh". I just laughed it off knowing Tayo and her almost bulling ways of handling things before I called her back. "Where have you been Darasimi Temidayo, Olutimi Adeola?" was the first thing I heard on the phone before I could even say hello. "Calm down, why are you calling my government name like that, did someone die?" I said sarcastically "Die ke, no jo I need a favor. Please please don't say no" she pleaded. "What is it, and you begging me not to say no tells me I probably will" I said as I got up from the bed to use the bathroom. "Sooo Sola's sister is having a birthday get together and you know she doesn't really like me, I need you to go with me pleaseeeee" Sola was Tayo's boyfriend of 3 years, he was a very quiet man but his family was another issue. His dad was dead and he had only 2 sisters so by default that meant wahala for any woman he was going to marry. "Tayo I am exhausted from work now, I told you about my week, ask Lola" "I did, but she has a date with this guy and has cancelled on him once because of me; she really likes this guy and I don't want to ruin it for her pleaseee pleaseee. I'll pick you up self, all you have to do is get ready and we can leave after an hour" I agreed because that's what friends do, I couldn't allow her to face the evil monster herself and also because if she went alone, she would have to stay behind to help clean up. I quickly showered and decided to put in a little extra effort and by that I mean actually do something about my hair. Since the vacation, it's been a mess and the hectic work week didn't allow me cater to its needs at all. Tayo picked me up 45 minutes later and made me wonder what kind of get together we were going to at after midnight. We get there and do the rounds of saying hi to familiar faces and Tayo is immediately pulled into the kitchen to help. I, being the good friend that I am, started a timer that would alert me when our hour was up and Tayo's maiden duties would be over. The party was fun, there were games, drinks and everyone seemed to be having fun. After about 30 minutes, I go and pull Tayo away from the kitchen so she could have a little fun, Sola's sister was stressing out because the food was almost finished but in my opinion, that wasn't Tayo's problem or anyone else's for the matter. At 1am, the party was still cracking even though we had just fifteen minutes left on the clock so Tayo begged me that we should stay another 30 minutes and she promised we would leave after that. A couple minutes later, Mr. Million dollar smile walks in with the same woman from the supermarket. He said hi to a couple of people and walked over when he saw me leaving his girlfriend once again. In my mind, I'm like this guy must either have a lot of nerve or the babe self just doesn't care. "Hey there stranger" he said while flashing his amazing teeth. "Hi, what are you doing here?" I wanted to be nosy so I would know who to ask about him later on. "Oh Dupe" he pointed at the woman he came with, "and Bisola were college roommates so I decided to drop her off since she can't drive here." I don't think I understood what he said because I smiled and dismissed him before the conversation could go any further. Lola called while I was talking to him and I had missed her call so I went outside to call her back because I'm sure she wanted to jist me about her date. We spoke for about 10 minutes and she told me how she liked him and they had a good time at dinner. I was listening attentively when I saw Mr. Million dollar smile walking towards me and it occurred to me that I didn't even know his name. Lola rushed me off the phone because her guy was calling her even though he just dropped her off at home about 20 minutes ago. "So I don't know your name" he said to me before I could start walking back into the house. "I just realized the same thing'" I chuckled a little bit "but it's Dara, what's yours?" "Is it just Dara? What's your full name?" "Darasimi Adeola" "That is a beautiful name, you're beautiful too." In my mind I'm like is this guy crazy or did he forget that I had seen him with his girlfriend twice already, I decided that there was no need to further this conversation, I just needed his name and hopefully remember it as someone to stay away from "So what is your name?" "Bayo Adeosun." All I needed to hear was the last name; I smiled and ran back into the house leaving a puzzled look on his face. Once I got into the house, Tayo could tell something was wrong and I didn't have to tell her before she got up, grabbed our purses and bid everyone goodbye. _____________ Hi, I'm Moriam. I'm curious and I love cooking. I also like to write short stories. If you haven't check out Part one and two of Love's Pain. If you love recipes, check out my blog too.     |
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