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Thursday, October 24, 2013

Romance Meets Life

Romance Meets Life

#Bossladies - Linda Ikeji Off to Dubai For The Weekend With Her Sisters

Posted: 24 Oct 2013 08:08 PM PDT


For those of us who are addicted to Linda Ikeji's blog, it's like a cold turkey when she doesn't update every few hours. Which hasn't done for almost a whole day. The answer was on her instagram where Linda posted a couple of pictures saying, "Off to Dubai for the weekend with my sisters. Yippee!" Wishing her an enjoyable trip :)

5 Ways To Make and Keep Friends and Be Loved By Everyone

Posted: 24 Oct 2013 05:04 PM PDT


Before applying the secret, ask yourself if and why you may want to be loved by everyone. The reality is that you are NOT going to be loved by everyone no matter how nice, beautiful or agreeable you are. That said: there is a secret to being loved by almost everyone.


"Put Your Listening Ears On"
People love to talk about themselves, their hobbies, their hopes, their plans and their latest pet peeve. Those who listen intently are considered the best conservationists – go figure! This does not mean you should remain quiet. By listening to what they are saying, you will learn a lot about them.

You will also enrich your own knowledge in areas that you have previously ignored. The more subjects that you are able to follow intelligently, the better prepared you will be for adding to conversations you encounter.

Catching Flies with Honey
Has your mother ever told you that you will catch more flies with honey than with vinegar? She gave you solid advice. No matter how much it hurts, having a positive attitude toward life in general is sign of self-confidence.

This doesn't mean you should go around with a grin on your face. Smiling all the time will make you look goofy. It means that you find something good about 98% of people, situations and disasters. And, it means that you keep your complaints to yourself. No one wants to be around a whiner – especially when there is nothing that can be done to correct the reason for the complaint.

Wear Respect like an Award
Has your father ever said anything to one of your friends that he knew would mortify you? That is a display of lack of respect for your privacy or your sensitivity. Those who deliberately use embarrassing remarks that offend others are self-centered bores.

Have you ever wanted to drop your eyes as a woman walks into the office wearing a skirt that barely covers the essentials? Have you turned your head when a man bends over and his butt is exposed … plumber's crack? These people are wearing signs that say they have no respect for their bodies and don't care how they appear to others.

A gentleman once said that when men use four-letter words in front of women, it is their way of testing to see if they can take her to bed. Women who use four-letter words are trying to be one of the boys. In each instance, the lack of self-respect is coupled with the lack of respect for others.

Wearing a respectful attitude does not require that you play a goody two-shoes or change that you are inside. It does indicate that you have confidence in your ability to fit in with the group and in your decisions.

The Secret of Being Loved by Everyone is…

A Closer Look at Chimamanda's Threaded Hair to HOAYS Movie Premiere, Will You Rock This Hairstyle?

Posted: 24 Oct 2013 12:01 PM PDT


The official pictures from the Half of a Yellow Sun movie premiere in London are out [first post], and we can now see clearly the threaded hairstyle that Chimamanda Adichie wore to the event. It echoes those threaded styles of old that some of us had our primary schools make us wear sometimes.




The style brings out the features, and I remember another blogger that styled her hair that way for her birthday last year [see here]. I think the hairstyle looks great on Chimamanda. I might even get that style when I am next in Nigeria. Will you rock it?

You Didn't Tell Me Marriage and Motherhood Would Be Like This - Part 2

Posted: 24 Oct 2013 07:09 AM PDT


By Yetty Williams

The first part of this article spoke about the reason someone will say ah..ah you didn't tell me, which is when one gets married and starts to adjust to life as part of a married couple. There are all sorts of things you will be reacting to and experiencing that no one could have prepared you for. After sometime as a newlywed there is an expiration date, the newlywed tag has a limit and it also ends faster when a baby is brought into the union.

For a mother, a baby arrives after 9 months of changes to your body, carrying a child and planning for the delivery. The couple experience emotional ups and downs thanks to pregnancy hormones, and the woman experiences changes in her body directly.

There are the popular physical changes, which are mentioned such as the increase in breast size that most people are pleased about, the stretch marks which most people are not happy about. However there are other changes that are not so pleasant and not so widely talked about.

Anyway everyone tells you things will go back to normal your body will return to pre-pregnancy state, the truth is what they should say is that your body should or might go back to normal. There have been some women who their bigger feet never go back to normal and they need a whole new set of shoes. There are some body parts that stretch and stretch permanently…no going back to pre baby size no matter how much dieting you undergo.

Anyways the bundle of joy arrives and no matter what you went through to give birth, they lied when they say that after you give birth you forget the pain! No you don't! Forget? How? Even if you decide to get an epidural how can you forget the experience of being screamed at to stay still while a HUGE needle is inserted into your spine for fear of paralysis? If you went the natural route how can you forget the process of labor and pushing to get the baby out?

Then the breast feeding…why don't they tell you about the fact that it is not as natural and seamless for baby and mother as is popularly suggested. The mother has to learn the right way to breastfeed, there is a process to it, the latching, the caring for the breast to avoid infection and cracks. What about the famous second day engorgement that can be soo painful because the milk is finally coming in?

The sleepless nights? Ha they can't warn you enough about what the sleepless nights mean. How sleepless it really is. Yes you need all the help you can get - so plan for it well before the baby arrives. No you are not meant to do it all alone and No you are not lazy for needing help. There is also no set formula for who the best person to help you is, sometimes it might be your mum and sometimes it might be your Mum in Law or even a total stranger who is a suitable carer.

Then what about intimacy? The truth is who can think about intimacy. Do you realize that based on the amount of time between feeding you actually leak milk? I leave you to imagine what this can mean for your intimacy as a couple. You can have all sorts of situations following natural childbirth that the idea of having sex is downright scary and far from your mind! For some men they cannot imagine their wives as sexy again after seeing her as a carrier of their child.

There is a lot of work to do, the washing and the feeding and the burping and the changing and caring for a newborn is a lot to do and you are expected to do it all while smiling. No one can explain the amount of love you feel for a child. You know the saying of wearing a piece of you heart outside you. This comes into actuality when you have a child, you might have thought you loved your spouse but wait until you have a child and you understand what love is!

Ah no one told you that after you have started to master marriage, giving birth to a child comes to get you back to basics. Whatever you thought you knew, childbirth comes to let you know that you didn't know anything and you have to learn from scratch.

Like I now say not a lot of things humble a person like marriage and parenting.

Sorry for leaving out the men though they have their own experience of being new dads too, I'm not in the best position to do that. Maybe the men will help us out.

_________

Yetty Williams is a wife and mother, and the editor of LagosMums

Covers - Omawumi on Bubbles Magazine

Posted: 24 Oct 2013 04:30 AM PDT


Tagged Wonder Woman, Omawunmi's cover for Bubbles magazine is understated but still lovely. Wonder what her mission is?

Becky Enyioma - Paradise [Music Video Romance]

Posted: 24 Oct 2013 04:05 AM PDT


Becky Enyioma and her latest video Paradise surprised me with her distinctive vocals and an engaging melody that made me listen to the song more than once. The video by Krystal Sabre Productions was shot at the Lekki Conservation center like MayD's song, it was simple but had sharp and colorful visuals. Enjoy...

Survivor - I Took a Walk From an Abusive Relationship Because I was Losing my Joy, my Happiness

Posted: 24 Oct 2013 08:24 AM PDT


I've been an ardent reader of RML but this time I've decided to come out and comment because this is where it affects me.The vision God laid in my heart is to fight for abused ladies and help regain their esteem right from a tender age and I feel the time is ripe and my NGO will soon be birthed (still tender though). I have also been a victim of abuse and I agree with the comment [HERE] that 'those that suffer from it isn't because they are weak or cannot fight'.

My supposed fiance was so quiet and introversial, smart, business guru but these were his minus - he was harsh, ill-tempered and would release the most piercing words on the least provocation. I would just withdraw whenever he started his ramblings about how stupid I was or how I didn't have wisdom to tackle issues or in his words, 'wore dresses that weren't suitable to meet his calibre of friends', call my shoe or bag a boat (mind you he never bought me one but kept promising), tell me to get out of his office and stand up and walk me out, point fingers at me in the public in the bid to warn me to never repeat a particular thing and say casually in front of his friends that I was talking nonsense and an endless list of that sort!

I felt maybe I was sent his way to help him and expressed my concern to his pastor who reassured me that he would talk to him and prayed for 'grace' to sustain me in the relationship soon to be marriage but I knew something was wrong somewhere because I was losing my joy, my happiness. I couldn't associate with my friends because he said they were mediocres and he wanted me to operate with a certain class of women to my disgust!

Now another issue which this kind of men have is that they are usually under strong influence from their mum who most times had to undergo abuse but stayed and so expects you to also bear it. He breathes, eats, thinks, talks and virtually worships his mum and if she says, "jump into the lagoon" you can be sure he'd do that and he is so manipulative, possessive and can threaten you on the slightest conversation.

To cut the long story short, I took a walk not without much beggings and pleadings that he would change and actually exhibited some change but how was I sure that twasn't just for the moment, to get me back? So I hardened my heart and fell deaf ears to his pleas and took a walk into my freedom! (So much details I've overlooked)

My candid advise to everyone who finds themselves in an abusive relationship, please take a walk cos it will only take God and The Holy Spirit to change such a man.

Family Time - David Beckham and Victoria Take All the Kids To Game Night

Posted: 24 Oct 2013 12:03 AM PDT

(L-R from top) Cruz Beckham, David Beckham, Victoria Beckham, Romeo, Harper and Brooklyn Beckham.

The whole Beckham family who are currently based in LA attended a hockey game between the Calgary Flames and the Los Angeles Kings at Staples Center in California. It was a casual night and everyone, including posh Victoria seem to be having fun.
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