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Saturday, August 31, 2013

Romance Meets Life

Romance Meets Life

Stand For What You Believe In - Ese Walters Shares Her Evidence In Hopes of An Investigation

Posted: 31 Aug 2013 05:03 PM PDT


Following the conversation spurred by the revelation of Ese Walter's affair with Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo of COZA (see here) she has written what she says is her last article on the topic titled "Going Forward". Ese thanks all those who supported her and says that her evidence is with a respected minister in the hopes that the Christian body in Nigeria will investigate Pastor Biodun to prevent further abuses.


I appreciate that Ese wants to move on, hopefully she has already done that, but  doubt the story is closed. If an investigation commences, it is possible that we'll hear more about it. Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo [see here] has said he and his team are preparing a robust reply, probably legal? Others, including pastors are wading in, and also, more ladies have spoken out after her initial revelation, and who is to say more won't?

It was really brave and courageous of Ese to speak out, but my own hope is that we, as a community, take this even further.

Excerpt from Going Forward by Ese Walter

The past week has 'killed' me. It has stripped me of whatever 'self-importance' I nursed in the corners of my mind. It has broken me and opened me up to my real self. It has brought me to a deeper level of self-awareness, one I am most grateful for.

When I sat with my MacBook to type my last blog, I never imagined it would generate the kind of attention it did and continues to. I have one last thing to say on this issue before I lay it to rest and move on. (I also hope others can move on too, we have too much going on in this Country to continue to peddle one for longer than necessary.)

A very big thank you to everyone that has felt it necessary to talk about this issue and spread it throughout Nigeria and the foreign scene. I read every email sent to me with awe that people would take the time out to reach a total stranger like me.

Some were cursing, calling me a witch from the pit of hell sent to destroy the church as though one individual/church is bigger than the body of Christ. As though God is mere man and would cringe in heaven saying, "Ese don did it this time." Or as if the good Book didn't state clearly that ALL things work out for good for those that love God.

Do you love God? If yes, trust that it will ALL turn around for good.

Some people say, 'I support you, you are brave and courageous' and I wonder if those terms really define me. I do not think I am brave or courageous. I do know, however that after decades of sleepwalking through life, I am now becoming aware not just of myself but also of my environment, my world, and the universe.

Some say, put out the evidence and we will believe you. Hmmm, the morning I sat to write that post, I really didn't expect anyone to believe me. Well, apart from those involved. And my motive was simple, let one more woman be spared. Let one more minister of the gospel be mindful and let the church rise up to its responsibilities as God's legal representatives here in the earth realm.

A copy of the 'evidence' is with a respected minister of the gospel should the christian body decide to deal with this issue now and that becomes needful. I am not looking to have a 'me against them' case where I need to prove I'm right and someone is wrong. I am far from right, but I have used the only means available to me to free myself of the bondage I put myself in.

Lastly, to all the media people seeking interviews and whatever else mailing me, I have nothing more to say on this issue. I cannot reply every email as reading them is beginning to seem like a new job.

I remember asking a friend once while reading the book of Acts, "Why do we no longer operate in the power the disciples did in Jesus day?" What has changed? How do we 'unchange' it?

God is not mocked, if we serve Him, let's serve Him. We cannot continue to grow as a Nation by oppressing, delaying justice, hating, having the ME ME ME mentality. As Martin Luther King Jr said, 'no one is free until we are all free.'

Things have got to change and it begins with us. It begins with each and every one of us borrowing courage to stand for what we believe in. Fela Durotoye once said, 'that thing that annoys you most in society is a sign that you carry its solution.' (I'm paraphrasing)

Nothing has called out to me more than people, especially women, suffering in some way and hiding the pain. Whatever we cover doesn't go away. It grows and it finds different outlets to rear its ugly head until we deal with it.

I am not perfect, I will never be, but I am enough to try what I feel might work. I don't know what the entire bible says but I am learning and applying the little I find out daily. And I think everyone owes it to himself or herself to figure it out for themselves.

At the end of the day, we agree that 'men of God' are firstly men, right? This means it's needless expecting them to help you in your growth with God. I fell into that trap of thinking a 'man of God' is equated to God and it is not new to find people fall in that hole.

How do you begin to learn to serve a God you have never seen? It takes another level of faith to do that but we live in a generation/Country where people don't want to study for themselves. They don't want to read the Scriptures. Well, they don't want to read, period. They want to pursue things instead and have somebody do the praying and studying for them. If you fall in that category, you need to repent.

I learnt that when the veil was torn, we all were given equal access to the Father. No matter how long you may have been in church, if you don't know what that means you better ask somebody. And seek a real relationship with the God you claim to serve.

That is what I am spending most of my time doing these days. Praying, studying, seeking, knocking. The peace I have felt despite all the hate mails and tantrums shows that God is not angry with me and I did what I needed to do to the best of my
understanding.

My apologies to everyone this has affected in one way or another.

Firstly, my family: I don't know how you guys aren't sick of me yet ;)

Secondly, 'the body of Christ,' my intention was never to cause trouble but to stop a rot I felt might spread and become worse if nobody spoke up about it.

Lastly, to those who said I shouldn't blog again, I respect and understand your concerns but the truth is, writing is not just my gift, it is also my 'curse'. I cannot 'NOT' write but I PROMISE, this is the last I will say on this issue except the christian body needs to see me.

God is building His church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. No sin is too big to wreck anyone's faith. If it does, then it means it's working out a greater good for you. You will definitely come out stronger and better in the end. Like my best friend says "in the end, it will be all right and if it ain't alright, it's not the end."

#illNeverDateAPersonWho - What Is Your Number One Relationship Deal Breaker?

Posted: 31 Aug 2013 04:06 PM PDT


Love me, love my dog? Many of us know what we want in those we date, and when those things are missing, we'll either run far away from the potential suitor or relegate them to the friendzone like in the picture. Those on twitter decided to weigh in on the issue and there are many gems. Cheating is high on the list, breaking promises, sharing the same likes and dislikes, looks, etc. What is yours?

Uche Nnaji and Anthonia Onwamaka - First Photos From Traditional Wedding

Posted: 31 Aug 2013 04:25 PM PDT


Uche Nnaji, CEO of Ouch got married earlier today to his fiancee, Anthonia Onwamaka, at the bride's home in Lagos. Their white wedding will be celebrated next month. Best wishes to the couple. Another picture below...

Between Ese Walter and Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo - Schadenfreude and Fair Opinion

Posted: 31 Aug 2013 07:10 AM PDT


By Philip AMIOLA.

I have taken a break from mass media for a while to take care of some personal projects. However, I have been so harangued by the sex scandal involving Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo and Ese Walter that I think I should offer a word or two on it. Reading Ese Walter's account on her personal blog, I couldn't help but admire the courage with which she is learning to live her authentic life. However, it is quite unfortunate that many people have had their minds so beclouded with anger, jealousy or some other strong emotions that they have completely missed the point.

The volume of malicious words and degree of distortion on social media suggests that a good number of people are simply motivated by the desire to derive pleasure from other people's misfortunes especially when such people are leaders, public figures or high achievers. We hear stories of someone missing the mark and we're all too eager to nail the culprit and condemn the "sinner", forgetting that in God's courtroom, we're either witnesses or advocates, not judges. Besides, history has proven time and time again that the most vehement critics are often guilty of greater transgressions either secretly or somewhere down the line. When we criticise and condemn people, it says more about us than it says about them.

Thankfully, the Bible does not hide the stories of great people like King David who committed adultery and aggravated it with murder in a bid to cover up. Yet, God forgave him as soon as he dealt with the issue. Even though he suffered great losses after the incident, he still occupies pride of place both in the Bible and in secular history. We have similar examples in contemporary times. To deny our tendency to transgress is to deny our humanity. When people fail or appear to fail, we should learn to accept their predicament with charity and equanimity, especially when such people are leaders and public figures. These people face challenges that are unknown to most of us. Our responsibility is to pray for them while supporting them on the path to recovery. It is not our prerogative to judge or condemn anyone. This does not mean that leaders are unquestionable. However, it is important that we free them to sort themselves out with the Ultimate Judge and the people that have been hurt by their actions.

I understand the anger, disappointment and frustration evoked by stories like this. However, I believe that we would do well to stop every form of vindictive remark and despiteful gossip against either party. Rather, let us address the situation in the spirit of the confessor whose self-professed goal is to bring healing to herself and deliverance to other people caught in a similar web. This is even more important in light of the fact that the plaintiff always seems convincing until the defendant comes to cross-examine him. It is too early to form a fair opinion on this issue as we have only heard one side of the story. And even if the other side confirms our fears, it does not in any way signal the end of Pastor Fatoyinbo's ministry; neither does it pollute the credibility of the Gospel or dilute the authenticity of Christ's message.



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Philip Amiola is a teacher, writer and campaigner of empowerment. He writes from Lagos, Nigeria, blogs at philipamiola.org and tweets from @PhilipAmiola.

Grieving Husband, 96, Writes Song for His Late Wife - They Were Together 75 Years

Posted: 31 Aug 2013 03:08 AM PDT


If you don't like crying or have no heart for love or romance, this video and story may not be for you. The video is a short documentary about Fred Stoubaugh, 96, who lost his wife Lorraine earlier this year. They had been married just short of 73 years, but had been together for 75 years - dated two years before marriage.


While mourning his late wife, a song came to Fred and he couldn't stop humming and singing it. Soon after that, he read about a songwriting contest in the newspaper and decided to write a letter to the organizers with the lyrics to his song, "Sweet Lorraine".

Jacob Colgan was the one who received the letter at the studio and he was touched. Because the rules of the contest was for aspiring songwriters to upload their songs to Youtube, Fred's entry was disqualified. But the producers had something better in mind. They called Fred and asked to record his song professionally, all for free. Check out the details in the video. Warning, you'll likely cry so I hope you have waterproof mascara on:)



I can only say congrats to Fred. This is such a touching and beautiful song. I also say well done to the Green Shoe Studio for bringing the music to life. Music truly does touch a lot of people and when the story is as great as this, it does good to the soul.

Pastor Anselm Madubuko Marries Emmy Kosgei - Traditional Wedding Pictures

Posted: 31 Aug 2013 02:32 AM PDT


Pastor of Revival Assembly Church, Anselm Madubuko lost his first wife, Connie Madubuko, July last year, and decided earlier this year to get married again to Kenyan gospel artist Emmy Kosgei. The couple's traditional wedding took place in Kenya some days ago. RML wishes the couple a happy married life.
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