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Saturday, June 29, 2013

Romance Meets Life

Romance Meets Life

Only A Douchebag Wants Just Your Waist - On Iyanya and Yvonne Nelson

Posted: 29 Jun 2013 02:06 PM PDT


What do you do when all a man you have fallen in love with wants from you is your waist? That was the dilemma the sender of one of the last Dear Myne posts found herself in. A lot of the comments told her to either tell the man off, or just move on. Some called any guy who wants a woman just for sex a douchebag, and I agree, somewhat.


That is, only to the extent that he deceives the woman into thinking he wants more with the pretense of a relationship. Where both the man and the woman go in knowing what they both want out of their relationship, and it mutually agreed as friends with benefits, then there should be no crying foul when things go pear-shaped and one person starts catching feelings.

Obviously, I may not be privy to all the details of Iyanya and Yvonne Nelson's relationship beyond what they put out to the public and I find myself leaning strongly towards Yvonne's side on this "he said, she said" saga. In an interview with BellaNaija recently, Yvonne Nelson answered the following questions about her relationship with Iyanya, about how he may have cheated on her, but definitely betrayed her expectations and broke her heart;

Sometime last year, you were quite emotional on Twitter when you supposedly broke up with a Nigerian music star. That incident has been shrouded with lots of cover-ups. Could you tell me what really happened?
I think it's time my fans get to know the whole truth so I'm going to let it all out. I dated one person here, he's in the industry. There were too many lies in the relationship. I found out a whole lot of things and I just felt like he took advantage of me.

Why did you go on Twitter to express your emotions?
I'm human, I'm not like a robot or anything. I just wanted the whole world to know what I was going through and I just wanted them to know that I was done with the relationship.

I had an interview with Iyanya shortly after that Twitter rant and his words were "She didn't mention my name so I don't know anything about it. I've never told anyone that I was dating anybody." Aren't we talking about the same person here?
He would say that because he was wrong. His team is also trying to protect his fan base and I don't blame him for denying anything. It's him and his career, that's OK.

How long did the two of you date and how would you describe the relationship?
We dated for 7 to 8 months. We had something and I thought it was special, like he was a wonderful guy but it was all lies. He had other girls and other things he was doing. Aside the actress that was in the picture, there were a lot more. That is how bad it is. We were in a relationship and he lied throughout and he was able to do all those things because I wasn't living in Nigeria. But aside from the distance, I feel if you're a genuine person and you're loyal, you would still not do that.

Most people only got to know that you and Iyanya were dating after you broke up. Were you deliberately being secretive about it?
I also don't believe in putting my relationships in the faces of people. We both had our careers and were trying to protect our fan base and that's cool. But if you go through my Instagram page, you'd see a couple of pictures of us together. I wasn't shy about anything but he could not say he's dating Yvonne Nelson because he had different people he was seeing so it was very hard for him to bring it out.

What did the experience teach you?
There are some things that you don't get to learn in school; people can't advice you, you won't even listen. You just have to experience it to learn. I have no regrets that I went through it, it would have happened anyway. We are all human beings. We fall in love once in a while but if it doesn't work out, that's OK.

How do you feel about him now and what message would you like to pass on to him if you had the chance?
Iyanya is such an amazing person but I just feel he needs to be more honest and be a man of his words. It's not good if he takes advantage of women. My Mum always says any man who takes advantage of women won't end up well. It's Karma, it's going to come back to you. He should treat women fairly and he should be an honest person. It's been a while though, I haven't seen him. He is doing amazing things in his career and I wish him luck.

Well, instead of acting the gentleman, either wishing her luck too, or simply keeping quiet about the whole matter, Iyanya on a freestyling session in the video below, replied her thus;

Yvonne Nelson, I lost your medicine. She called that she's coming over and I ride her like a jangolova. All I want is your waist, no emotions, no tears, no letters, no love, no nothing....

... All I want is your waist, she ain't even know it. She brought emotions.



Call me biased, or making rash judgments without the complete picture, but I think he's a douchebag! Whether or not there were crossed wired before and during the relationship about what each party wanted, I think at this stage it's beyond crass to be singing about riding someone like a jangolova.

All I can say is, women shine your eyes for these kind of man. SMH.

Dear Myne - Girls Always Keep Putting Me In The Friend Zone

Posted: 29 Jun 2013 08:09 AM PDT


Now I seriously don't know what is wrong but every lady I meet and want something serious from, relationship, they place me on the friendship zone, they only comment that am a nice guy with a good character and so on, but it just ends there.


The last one said I was bugging her with calls, that she hates calls; I was at a loss as at what to do. The thing I detest most or that turns me off is the lack of reciprocity, before they call or send messages or reply any message, it's like the heavens will fall, and it pisses me off.

I'm really pissed off at the nice boy, good guy character I keep getting painted with, so what is wrong?

Having The Courage To Live and Love Again

Posted: 29 Jun 2013 04:07 AM PDT


By Gracie

In life, you may have gone through bitter and ugly relationships. Maybe you were just treated unfairly or things just didn't work out as planned even when you gave it your all and you felt really hurt. There are also times when you had seen the handwriting on the wall, but you just hate to face the truth, giving all kind of excuses and yet things still didn't work out.

But really, bad times like this could be good lessons. You never lose, you only gain from life. It's just a matter of your perspective. If you lose something, you lose it for a reason, that reason may be hard to understand but whatever it is, you just have to believe that GOD takes away when He has something better to give.

It's time to bury those old memories, let it go. It's okay to shed those tears, sound it all off but don't remain there for too long. Life is too short for regrets. Regrets are meant to teach us what to do better next time; evaluated experience is the best teacher.

It's time to evaluate your own shortcomings, call a spade a spade and not a big spoon. As Julius Caesar once said, "he who fails to learn from the hands of history is doomed to repeat it". Many a time, instead of learning from our past experiences, you find yourself repeating them.

Have that courage to love again. Courage is the answer to all your fears. It is not always that easy but the Grace of GOD is always available. Forgive whoever may have hurt you; it does you more favour than the other person. As Joyce Meyer said "harbouring unforgiveness is like eating poison and hoping that your enemy will die".

Let the past pass away so that you do not pass away with your past.

Don't let the fear of your past turn good people who may want to come into your life neither does anyone deserve to pay for your ex's sins. Vengeance is of GOD's. Don't use that single experience if not more to form a theory that all others will be the same.

In all, forgive yourself and the other person and trust GOD for the best for you deserve the best. Value, respect and appreciate yourself for GOD values and loves you so much.

Take that bold step.

Isaiah 43:18-19: Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old.Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it?

REMAIN BLESSED

*** inspiration from GOD in a tyler perry film; Diary of a mad black woman***

________

Grace blogs about inspiring ourselves in living a greater life everyday.

Love Takes Two - A Short Film

Posted: 29 Jun 2013 03:03 AM PDT


Love Takes Two is a very short film that captures the thin line between love and dysfunction quite accurately. At what point does pride and unforgiveness creepingly become a killer of your love? Do you know when to stoop to let love win? Enjoy :)

Five Top Black Actresses Chat With Oprah on Skin Color

Posted: 29 Jun 2013 01:02 AM PDT


Colorism can be about the shade of your skin relative to others in your own race, or it can be about race itself. On the same theme as that of Dark Girls, and how skin color can affect self-esteem and the opportunities available to one, Oprah has invited five of the top black actresses in Hollywood to speak on their experiences working there.






Actresses Tackle the Debate over Light vs. Dark Skin
In many parts of the world, people are judged not just by their skin color but also by their skin tone. The devaluing of dark-skinned women, which is discussed in the documentary Dark Girls, is something many African-American actresses must overcome. Watch as Alfre Woodard, Viola Davis, Phylicia Rashad and Gabrielle Union tackle the complex issues surrounding people's perception of light versus dark skin.

D-Black - Black Clouds ft. Waje (Music Video Romance)

Posted: 29 Jun 2013 12:07 AM PDT


By Jove, this is the saddest music video I've seen in a long, long while. Jeez...by the half-way point you'll have goose bumps on your skin, and if you're soft-hearted, tears may even join the party. The only grouse, Waje's voice was a bit too auto-tuned. Great story, and capable rap delivery and lyrics by D-Black. Another marvelous Nigeria-Ghana collabo. See MI and Becca here.
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