Romance Meets Life |
- Girl in Confused Face Meme, Keisha Johnson, Sues Instagram For $500M
- The Natural Hair Movement - Only For Black Women or Should We Include Other Races?
- 4 Things You Can Do When You Are In The Friend Zone by Atala
- How Paul Walker Bought A $9,000 Engagement Ring For A Military Couple Before His Death
- Pregnant Kelly Rowland Gets Criticized For Aggressive Gym Routine With Personal Trainer
- Black Women at Greater Risk of Becoming Victims of Homicidal Domestic Violence
- Magazine Covers - Michelle Obama Talks Higher Education With Essence
- Beyonce Tops List of Forbes’ Most Powerful Celebrities, Earned $115 Million Last Year Alone
- Adaeze Yobo Defends Husband Joseph Yobo Against Criticism For Own Goal
| Girl in Confused Face Meme, Keisha Johnson, Sues Instagram For $500M Posted: 01 Jul 2014 06:07 PM PDT  Memes are mostly used as jokes or to express feelings. However, one popular meme turned out not so funny when the girl featured in Meme's finally decided to sue the photo sharing app, Instagram. 16 Year Old Kiesha Johnson, of Birmingham Alabama, was just hanging with friends that took a bad picture of her and uploaded it to Instagram. Immediately, that photo went viral and was shared on Millions of profiles including celebrities. Everyone started mocking her now famous pose. "My face looked ugly like I was about to throw up.. I look nothing like that in real life… Im really a bad b*tch!" said Johnson. This is so funny, it just cannot be true! LOL... But say it is true, do you think she'll win? Her face is just everywhere, people seem to love the picture to convey different situations but what of her own emotions? I don't think anyone would be happy to have their face used in unflattering memes. Oh well... | ||
| The Natural Hair Movement - Only For Black Women or Should We Include Other Races? Posted: 01 Jul 2014 02:28 PM PDT  One of those forums for natural-haired girls to discuss about everything from hair tips, LOCs, Big Chops, CoWashs to personal natural hair journeys is CurlyNikki.com. Yesterday, a young white woman by the name of Sarah (or Vlogger Waterlily716 on Youtube) shared her natural hair journey, and there was some sort of outcry, as most of the site's readers felt the site should just be for black women and nut just any curly woman, especially when they are not at all black. The comments section now has almost 550 comments most of them insisting that other races should not be involved in "the natural hair movement." "The backlash is because its not just a hair issue. We as black or brown women know that we aren't the only race to get our hair permed, weaved or strive to fit in with main stream media. Yet we were the only race ignored by main stream media, and still today. Sarah, what you fail to realize is this movement isn't just about self loved. This is about brown self love. Entire Generations of brown people who's skin wasn't good enough, let alone there hair! Brown women in this country in general are just now excepting their beauty. While this country has more than excepted women who look like you since the foundation. I don't have a problem with you hair journey,Bravo great job! I do have problem with how you equalize your hair struggle with a brown women." wrote one commenter. Most of the the other comments toed this line, that natura hair should be for Black women, however, a few spoke in support of including other races like the one below.. "These comments are beyond ignorant. Natural hair by definition is unaltered hair, free of chemical processing. Sarah, like many of you (myself included), has NATURAL hair. These comments are coming from a place of insecurity. Just because she did not transition out of a perm/relaxer, does not have 4a/b/c hair, does not make her unrelatable to the natural hair community. Many of you envy Tracee Ellis Ross' hair.... but have you taken a moment to see what her unaltered curls look like? Loose and wavy...much like Sarah's. Shameless Maya has an old natural hair regimen video (Pre-shaved head ) in which she includes 4 NATURAL HAIR types that range from 2b right on to 4c. Do you have criticism on that as well?? Sarah shared products included in her daily regimen....many of which I happen to use myself (I am a 4a/b for those of you ready and waiting to assume I have a similar texture to hers). That fact alone shows you that even " OUR" products are not geared towards us alone....but towards a RANGE of NATURAL HAIR textures. Get over the color of her skin and open your mind. Be enlightened." said one commenter. So which side are you on? #TeamBlackNatural or #TeamUniversalNatural? | ||
| 4 Things You Can Do When You Are In The Friend Zone by Atala Posted: 01 Jul 2014 11:27 AM PDT  Recently, someone I know was wondering what was going on in the head of this girl he was interested in. They were friends, he said, but he wanted more than just friendship, and he had let her know this. However, she was non-commital; not quite agreeing that they should take their friendship to the next level, yet not wanting to end the friendship. An overwhelming number of responses to the thread started gave an instant diagnosis – she had locked him and sealed him tight into that cage from which there was no escape - the Friend Zone. This meant that there was no point in trying to get her to see him as more than a friend, because that all he would ever be to her. And from the tone of those responses, the Friend Zone was absolutely not a place that anyone should be happy to be in. It's not too difficult to see why. Like I always say, Happiness is What You Get minus What You Expect, so it's clear that if someone has been friendzoned so that the friendship they are getting is much less than the romance they expect, they're going to be unhappy, especially as Friendship is these days sold as being much inferior to Romance (you know that's true when you often hear phrases like "he's only a friend"). So it looks like there really are just four options for the friendzoned man (and yes, the overwhelming number of people in the Friend Zone are men): - Learn to live with it. Sure, for a while, he might have to endure the pain of seeing the girl he loves look at him differently from how he would like to be looked at. There's also the Big Question of why she doesn't love him back – a question which, typically, most friendzoners are very evasive on, because honesty might lead to an overreaction and the possible end of the friendship. But supposedly, if he loves something, he should set it free, etc. etc. Hopefully, after a while, the feelings will diminish when he sees that the person that he has placed on a pedestal has failings and disgusting habits like everyone else, and the friendship will become more relaxed and natural. - Learn to live with it, but keep hoping for something better. The problem, the friendzoned person believes, is that the object of his affection doesn't really know him. After all, how could anyone in their right mind possibly resist the combination of good looks, charm, wit, fashion, intelligence and ambition that are packaged together in him? Not a problem; he will keep on being friends with her while showing what a wonderful, loving and exciting person he is. Then one day, the penny will drop, the scales will fall off the eyes, and BANG! Two shall become one. - Don't take no for an answer. Like the option above, the friendzoned believes he is the full package, with a generous double measure added on top, pressed down and thoroughly shaken together. The difference is that he doesn't believe in hoping and waiting. Instead, he proceeds to bombard the girl of his dreams with cards, attention, flowers, chocolate, candlelit dinners, mushy ballads, and lyricalious poetry that make it very clear what he believes: that he should be the number one person – in fact, the only person – in her life. By the time he is done, she has either submitted to the relentless onslaught, responded with complete indifference, or has severed all communication and got a court injunction barring him from coming within five kilometres of her. Or there's the possibility that the he simply runs out of steam during the barrage, which leaves him with just one more option: - Cut loose and walk away. Unless the object of the friendzoned person's affection is that rare, special soul – so full pure goodness that she just cannot be given up like that – this is what many people in the friend zone eventually do. Of course, life is not black and white, and taking this course of action could mean anything from holding back a bit and reducing the number of times they meet, to deleting her phone number and emails, tearing up her photos and moving to a completely different city where her memories will not haunt him. The irony can be that sometimes, it is the very act of doing this that makes the friendzoner realize what a devastating combination of good looks, charm, wit, fashion, intelligence and ambition that were packaged together in him, and she now starts figuring out how to get together with him. Of course, the inherently unstable friendzone scenario is resolved much faster if both parties are honest about how they feel; ambiguity can be a breeding ground for false hope. But I suspect that sometimes, the object of affection might like the affection too much to let the friendzoned person walk away, even if she doesn't care enough for them to be in the relationship that they want. So she keeps him dangling with 'maybes', which is just plain wicked. But even with its prospect for terminal heartache, I don't think that the Friend Zone is going to disappear from the relationship landscape anytime soon, as long as most of us nurse in ourselves a desire to love – and to be loved. | ||
| How Paul Walker Bought A $9,000 Engagement Ring For A Military Couple Before His Death Posted: 01 Jul 2014 11:27 AM PDT  Paul Walker might have been most famous for his Fast and Furious movies, but what most people don't know is that he was actually a very generous man. When he bumped into a military couple shopping for an engagement ring in 2004, he bought the ring for them. After his death, the couple decided to testify of his generosity. Kyle Upham and his fianceé were browsing a jewelry store in Santa Barbara in 2004 — just before Kyle was deployed to Iraq for a second tour of duty — when a fellow shopper began to help them with their engagement ring purchase.   After Walker found out that Upham was about to be deployed, he took matters into his own hands. The couple left the store without the $9,000 ring, but a saleswoman called them and told them to come back. "One of the ladies came out holding a bag and just said, 'Here's your ring.' I think both of our mouths dropped," Kristen says. Source - Time | ||
| Pregnant Kelly Rowland Gets Criticized For Aggressive Gym Routine With Personal Trainer Posted: 01 Jul 2014 11:26 AM PDT  As we all know, this is the first baby for Kelly Rowland and her husband Tim Witherspoon who made the happy announcement earlier this month with a cute photo of daddy and baby sneakers. Since that outing, Kelly has posted continued to show off her growing bump including in pictures of her working out. She said of her pregnancy exercise routine, I'm in love with boxing and yoga right now. It just feels good, it's really empowering. I just feel like I'm getting my little strength back and getting my little jabs in. People think the yoga is OK, but recent pictures where Kelly goes all out with a personal trainer in what looks like an aggressive workout regimen have attracted some criticism.  One commenter said; Stupid *FAD* workouts that are Dangerous and have no periodized program!! The treadmill workout is insanely stupid!! Especially because she is pregnant. Idiot celebrities personal trainers and their clients that refuse to research and instead feed their addictive nature. Another wrote; Pregnant women shouldn't work out like THAT. I'm sorry. In a discussion on the pregnant Alysia Montano who ran 800M while 34 weeks pregnant, the consensus for pregnancy exercise seems to be that if one is used to working out before getting pregnant, most doctors will tell you to continue with your routine in an uncomplicated pregnancy. However, you should watch your blood pressure and heart rate toward the end. It is clear in Kelly's case that the 33-year-old wants to snap back in shape after she gives birth, and from her toned pre-pregnancy body, she's obviously used to working out regularly. I can't think of any pregnant woman that will deliberately put themselves and their baby in danger. | ||
| Black Women at Greater Risk of Becoming Victims of Homicidal Domestic Violence Posted: 01 Jul 2014 07:01 AM PDT
Domestic violence is a crime that cuts a painful swath across all races, socioeconomic levels and cultures. But experts in the field say that one set of victims — black women — is at a far greater risk to experience the grimmest of all domestic violence statistics: They are about three times more likely to die at the hands of a partner or ex-partner than members of other racial groups. Intimate-partner homicide is also among the leading causes of death for black women ages 15 to 35. And, the experts add, their plight may not change anytime soon because of complex underlying causes that in some cases stretch back generations: unemployment, poverty, lack of education, incarceration and violent environments. "A lot of groups have economic issues, but a lot of groups have not had the economic issues we've had for as long as we've had, for the reasons that we've had," said Dr. Gail Wyatt, a professor of psychiatry and bio-behavioral sciences at UCLA for 35 years. "This is not just an African-American problem, but we are disproportionately affected by it." Domestic violence killings have become a high-profile issue in North Texas. In August 2012, authorities say, 32-year-old Deanna Cook's ex-husband killed her in her home as she called 911 for help. Records show he had a history of abuse. Last month, police say, Erbie Bowser shot and killed four people, including his ex-girlfriend and estranged wife, and wounded four others in a horrific domestic violence spree. Bowser also had a history of domestic abuse. In 2012, Dallas police recorded 12 intimate partner murders, and six of the victims were black women. Overall, the department recorded 13,324 family violence offenses — 7,366 involving African-Americans. Earlier this year, upset by a string of domestic violence attacks in the area, Dallas Mayor Mike Rawlings organized a men's rally against domestic violence aimed at making men more accountable for their actions against women. The event had a heavy turnout of black men. In an interview last month, Rawlings said it would be naïve of him as a mayor to opine on the reasons why black women are at such risk of being killed by their partners. He said such analysis is better left to anthropologists and social scientists. But he did say those experts should look at the role of poverty and race in studying domestic violence issues. Several experts agreed. Dr. Jacquelyn Campbell, nursing professor at Johns Hopkins University and a leader in the field, has spent more than three decades focusing on black homicidal domestic abuse. She started at a time when she said it was the No. 1 cause of death for black women. In 1986, she developed the danger assessment tool to help determine the likelihood that an abused woman would be killed by her intimate partner. The tool is still in use. Joblessness factor Campbell said that while prior domestic violence is the top risk factor in determining future attacks, unemployment is "by far the most important demographic" in putting someone at risk to be killed by an intimate partner. The latest national unemployment rate for blacks is 13 percent, more than double the 6.4 percent for whites. For black men, that figure is 13.5 percent, compared with 6.2 percent for white males . "Unemployed white men were as likely to kill their partners as unemployed black men, but because the black unemployment rate is higher, we see more deaths of black women," Campbell said. "In this society ... having a job is meaningful in terms of one's sense of masculinity. If they don't have that prestige, if they can't control anything else, at least I'm going to control my woman." Paige Flink, executive director of the Family Place in Dallas, said that the Dallas statistics on murder and domestic violence track with her records. She noted that blacks account for about half of all domestic violence calls to her abuse shelter. "And we know that African-Americans aren't anywhere near 50 percent of the population," she said. Flink agreed that unemployment is an overwhelming factor in domestic abuse and noted that black unemployment rates historically are the highest of any race. A lethality assessment by Dallas police for the past year showed that "40 to 50 percent of these batterers are unemployed," she said. Changing the thoughts and actions of men is a major focus of those attempting to reduce homicidal violence against black women. "This won't change unless men are engaged," said Dr. Tricia Bent-Goodley, a professor of social work at Howard University, another top researcher. "Men must be included because they have been the missing link. Without them, we are going to have [more] women and children losing their lives." Dr. Gail Garfield is an associate professor in the sociology department at the John Jay College of Criminal Justice at City University of New York who also has done extensive study in the field. She said socioeconomic factors ranging from chronic employment to high rates of incarceration, combined with others, lead to a feeling of disrespect that can lead to homicidal violence. "Poor black men ... have simply lost a lot of hope. They have nothing to lose, except for one thing, and that one thing is respect," Garfield said. "Black people are real big on respect, especially poor black people. However that respect gets defined, once that line has been crossed, you see violence and violation." Entrenched habits The experts also say other causes are at play that also factor into the deaths of black women at the hands of their partners. These issues go back decades and are steeped in traditions and habits that are difficult to break. For example, domestic violence researchers say black women often remain in volatile relationships longer than abused women of other races. Bent-Goodley said some "African-American women just don't feel safe in interacting with some of the systems" designated to help abuse victims, such as the police or even women's shelters. Or if they do decide to leave an abusive partner, their plans are often met with resistance by family members or religious leaders. So the violence continues to escalate and many of the women don't even realize how dangerous their situation is. "We don't really talk about domestic violence," Bent-Goodley said. "African-American women turn to either their friends or their faith-based community. Unfortunately, many of our faith-based communities tell them that divorce is a sin and that they should stay in the relationship. Some of the messages that we get can stop us from reaching out for help." Bishop T.D. Jakes, senior pastor of The Potter's House in Dallas, said faith plays a major role in the issue. But he, too, stressed the other factors that lead to abuse. "Statistics prove that during the recession, domestic violence increased drastically," Jakes said. "Anger and rage are building up in the hearts of men who feel helpless and hopeless. And more and more, men have rage that is suppressed. We have got to find a better way to handle our frustrations." And in many other instances, black women who are abuse victims, instead of reporting the assaults or leaving, choose to fight back physically. The experts say it's a cultural standard that is often applauded and admired by those close to the women. But they also note that willingness to "take a punch if they have to" and then give one back can lead to even more intense abuse from an angry spouse or partner. "One of the things that it means to be a man is to not be beaten up by a woman," Garfield said. "So it can take one of these things from a woman who is talking back to a man, to a woman who is hit defending herself, to escalating the violence." Tonya Lovelace, director of the Women of Color Network in Harrisburg, Pa., said that because they are defending themselves, some women may mistakenly believe that they aren't really in an abusive relationship. "We still may be willing to fight back and defend ourselves, where ultimately what we're trying to do is defend our relationship," Lovelace said. "By the time we come to the conclusion that we need outside help ... something really severe has already happened. A lot of times we don't even see these women until they have been killed." Lovelace said she believes she knows what drives that thinking by some abused black women to "stick in it longer." "Some of that has to do with the idea that black men are scarce. We are at greater risk because of that and that belief that a little bit of violence in our relationship is nothing that can't be handled." Declining cases There is some good news, however. Overall domestic violence cases, including those involving blacks, have dropped dramatically for more than a decade. This trend is expected to continue as domestic violence laws are improved and applied more equitably. Also, the experts said it is important to note that although studies prove black women are at much greater risk to become victims of intimate partner violence, the vast majority are not abused. And, they add, black men are not naturally inclined to abuse their partners. But that is not to say that Bent-Goodley and others in her field are trying to play down the problem. "Yes, it's gotten better since 1976, but it's still going on," said Campbell of Johns Hopkins, adding that both victims and abusers need help. "We need to make sure they get the kind of counseling they need. It can't be a family secret. They have to get professional help so that they don't continue the cycle. "I firmly believe we can get better at this and decrease the number of homicides," Campbell added. "If I didn't, I wouldn't stay in the business." BY THE NUMBERS The Violence Policy Center in Washington, D.C., found these facts in its 2012 report of 2010 domestic violence statistics for black women: 94 percent of black women killed by men in single victim/single offender incidents knew their killers. Nearly 15 times as many black women were murdered by a man they knew than were killed by a stranger. 64 percent of black victims who knew their offenders were wives, ex-wives or girlfriends of the offenders. The number of black women shot and killed by their husband or intimate partner was nearly five times as high as the total number murdered by strangers using all weapons combined. GETTING HELP Genesis Women's Shelter 24-hour hotline, 214-946-4357 The Family Place crisis hotline, 214-941-1991 National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 SIGNS OF ABUSE Your partner gets extremely angry at the slightest provocation and blames you for everything. Your partner seeks to control every aspect of your life. Your partner hits, slaps, punches, kicks or strangles you. Your partner threatens to harm you or your children. Your partner threatens to commit suicide if you end the relationship. SOURCE: Dallas Morning News research | ||
| Magazine Covers - Michelle Obama Talks Higher Education With Essence Posted: 01 Jul 2014 06:03 AM PDT  First Lady Michelle Obama has always been vocal about her passion for higher learning, and she expounds on that in her candid conversation with ESSENCE Editor-in-Chief Vanessa K. Bush. A big part of the recipe for success has to do with nurturing reslience in our children, she says. "I know I tell my kids all the time that they shouldn't shy away from difficult things, because that is the point at which you are really growing. It's not just about grades or test scores. Today our kids may shy away from applying to college if they think they don't have the right grade or test score. But the truth is that the kids who succeed and go on to be successful professionals are the ones who know how to work hard." And in order to even get that far, she says, they have to see education as an opportunity and take advantage of that kind of foundation. "We cannot waste the opportunity that we have here in America, especially as African-Americans. Our ancestors fought and bled and died so that we could go to school. And I still think about that." Michelle Obama adds that this is a message she's drilled into her daughters Malia and Sasha. "We talk about responsibility and accountability, about making sure that they're not wasting the opportunities they're given. We make sure they know how lucky they are and that, because of that, they have an obligation to have their acts together and to take their education very seriously." Via Essence | ||
| Beyonce Tops List of Forbes’ Most Powerful Celebrities, Earned $115 Million Last Year Alone Posted: 01 Jul 2014 03:09 AM PDT  Beyoncé Knowles (No. 1) topped Forbes' 15th annual Celebrity 100 ranking of the world's most powerful celebrities for the first time since she debuted on the list in 2004. Beyonce raked in a reported $115 million in 2014 alone. Wow! Five of the celebs on the top ten were women and the other half men. And it's not just about money, but also influence and star power. This is the top 10 on the list and how much they earned from June 2013 to June 2014. 1. Beyonce: $115million 2. LeBron James - $72million, 3. Dr. Dre - $620million 4.Oprah Winfrey- $82million 5. Ellen DeGeneres - $70million 6 .Jay Z - $60million 7. Floyd Mayweather- $105million 8. Rihanna - $48million 9. Katy Perry- $40million 10. Robert Downey Jnr - $75million. Movements LeBron James (No. 2), the NBA's top player, who just opted out of his contract with the Miami Heat to explore other options, moved up to No. 2 from the 16th spot last year. Dr. Dre (No. 3), who moved up from the 63rd spot, earned $620 million in 2014, which is more money earned in the past 12 months than any other celebrity in the history of the Forbes Celebrity 100 list. Oprah Winfrey (No. 4) fell to fourth place from the top spot last year, primarily because the three people ranked above her on this year's list currently have more influence and power. This year, once again, musicians ranked high on the list. Musicians can earn a lot of money when they go on tour and are successful in using social media to leverage their brand, which is an important part of our fame metric. Thirteen of the top 25 on the list were musicians, including Beyoncé Knowles (No. 1), Dr. Dre (No. 3), Jay Z (No. 6), Rihanna (No. 8), Bruno Mars (No. 13), Miley Cyrus (No. 17), and Kanye West (No. 20). Notable newcomers to the 2014 list include musicians Bruno Mars (No. 13), Pharrell Williams (No. 38); television actress Kerry Washington (No. 93) and athlete Kevin Durant (No. 33). | ||
| Adaeze Yobo Defends Husband Joseph Yobo Against Criticism For Own Goal Posted: 01 Jul 2014 12:03 AM PDT  Joseph Yobo has been criticised on various social media platforms for scoring an own goal [see here] during Nigeria's match against France yesterday and his wife has come to his defense. But really, it was not his fault, Enyeama had not thrown out the ball completely when it came from the corner kick by France. Joseph Yobo barely touched the ball before it moved further into the net. Seriously, any one can score an own goal, and it wasn't as if we were winning the match before then. Anyway Adaeze Yobo did not take kindly to those yabbing her husband, especially on her own Instagram page. She slammed them while defending her husband Joseph Yobo and the Super Eagles. She wrote; All you hateful people that didn't even realise it was own goal at first Heck, most of y'll didn't even watch that last minute part of the match that's if Nepa gave yu light to watch the game at all but as soon as they confirmed it was own goal by yobo' Y'all be like let's go ham on his wife (that b**ch) steady posting Louboutin pics on ig.#theirisgodo #toobadwelost but #goodgamefromyoboandtheteam #teamnigeria moving on, congrats to Joseph yobo for being the first Nigerian player to get to 100 caps. #recordholder #idontbreak #idontevenbend #ijustlaughatyourbitterness |
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