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Sunday, June 8, 2014

Romance Meets Life

Romance Meets Life

Kefee Diagnosed With Pre-eclampsia – Pregnancy-Induced High Blood Pressure.

Posted: 08 Jun 2014 11:09 AM PDT


Nigerian musician Kefee has been reported to be in a coma after she collapsed on a long haul flight to the US from Nigeria. Her plane had an emergency stop at Los Angeles where she was transferred to the hospital. She has been in a coma since, and it is getting to a week with her condition still not stable. Now new reports say the gospel crooner has been diagnosed as having pre-eclampsia – pregnancy induced high blood pressure.

According to the Tribune; their source said that

"Kefee surely did not know that she had a high blood pressure before she embarked on the long trip and suddenly went into coma in the air. That she is pregnant has made her situation dicey, so she will need a miracle to survive, a doctor told me"

A medical doctor in Nigeria, Dr Adeyefa, shedding more light on Kefee's condition, said

"Kefee is in a precarious situation because of the six months pregnancy. If the foetus had been nine months, the doctors would have removed the baby and saved the mother and child. As it is now, not only will the baby not survive because the carrier is in coma, Kefee may also lose her life from further complications. The chances of the mother surviving is narrow, while the kid has a narrower chance. I urge Nigerians to pray for her for a miracle because that is what she really needs,"

Her husband, Teddy Don-Momoh, confirmed the downward turn in her health by calling for prayers for her from Nigerians. Kefee's publicist, said in an offical statement that Teddy made the plea from the United States of America where his wife is still under intensive care at a Los Angeles hospital. The statement by the publicist quoted Teddy as saying;

"Kefee wants her friends, fans and well-wishers to know that she loves them. We just need prayers now. She needs our prayers because there is nothing God  can not do. Prayer is the key."

On RML we have blogged about pre-eclampsia twice before, when it was a storyline on Downtown Abbey and when it was reported that Kim Kardashian had her baby delivered early to avoid pre-eclampsia.

We're fervently praying that Kefee overcomes this with her baby. Amen.

Kim Kardashian West Posts Sweet Birthday Message to Kanye As He Turns 37

Posted: 08 Jun 2014 11:35 AM PDT


Kim Kardashian went on instagram to wish her new husband Kanye West a happy birthday as he turns 37 today. She shared one of the official photos from their wedding, above, and captioned it;

Happy Birthday to my husband and best friend in the entire world! You have changed my life in more ways than you know! The way you look at life inspires me! I love you so much!!!

See the birthday cake below;

Why I Date Mostly White Women - Black Male Blogger Explains His Interaccial Dating Choices

Posted: 08 Jun 2014 09:09 AM PDT


By Ernest Baker

Why do I date white women? Black women have told me it's because I'm a sellout. The white men who can get past the mental anguish of my black penis tarnishing "their" women think I'm making some latent admission that their race has the most attractive women.

White women range from those so intrigued by black men that it veers into fetish to those so reluctant to date black men that it feels more racist than preference-driven. These are generalizations, of course, but they are attitudes that I've personally encountered. Skepticism towards black men/white women relationships is a longstanding and well-documented part of our cultural fabric in America.


Most people have it wrong. I'm not a "black man" who "dates white women." I'm a person. I have my own unique experiences and some of them include having dated women who are white, but because interracial dating is such a historically tense and loaded subject, it's hardly ever looked at with any understanding or compassion for the people personally involved. The concept of a black man in a relationship with a white woman is a "thing" that people have an opinion on, and that opinion comes with an entire set of stereotypes, fueled by racist ideology, a complicated past, and sometimes even pop culture. Kanye West once rapped about how successful black men will "leave your ass for a white girl," and then put himself into that box by marrying a white woman, furthering the pervasiveness of flawed, generic ideas about interracial relationships.

That swath of generic ideas has an actual impact on culture and society, too. How many jokes have been made at Kim Kardashian's expense because of her history of dating black men? Twenty-two-year-old virgin psychopath Elliot Rodger just killed six people in California and left behind a paper trial of racially charged sentiments like, "How could an inferior, ugly black boy be able to get a white girl and not me?" The most visible criminal trial of the 20th century centered around a blonde white woman who was presumably murdered at the hands of her black husband, O.J. Simpson. White reaction to The Verdict may have been one of shock and rage, but it's also largely oblivious to the history of disenfranchisement, partially as it relates to interracial relationships, of blacks in this country.

Part of the reason why black people celebrated the O.J. verdict is because it was a rare example of a black man finally beating the system that was so unjust to his people for so long. It was cold, hard, classic revenge. Throughout this nation's history, unfathomable numbers of innocent black men have been hung from trees and burned because of often fabricated stories of their fraternizing with white women, and there were usually no consequences for the white men lynching them.

I was taught the story of Emmett Till by my mother at a young age. I don't think she did it as a warning as much as to be like, "This is something you should be aware of." He was 14. It was 1955. He got dragged out of his uncle's house and tortured and killed because he maybe flirted with a white woman. A racist jury acquitted his murderers, Roy Bryant and J.W. Milam, despite overwhelming evidence, and, to rub salt in the wound, both admitted to killing Till in Look magazine the next year. O.J. getting off brought a twisted, but understandable feeling of justice. The shoe was on the other foot for once and so be it if two white people wound up dead. We'd lost many more. That's harsh, but that's the historical context of black men dating white women that I unfortunately have to consider when doing the same.

Though those events are something of which I'm always cognizant, I didn't adhere to them as any sort of cautionary tale. The story of Till's murder didn't scare me as much as it made me want to piss off racist fucks even more. And I was only six years old when the O.J. verdict was read. Even then, I understood that it was racial, but there was a disconnection from my personal reality. Nothing about my worldview was sexualized yet. Whatever I learned from the trial was tucked away as something that I should know as a black man, but it didn't have a life-altering impact on my own development. I'm not going to murder anyone. For whatever implications the trial had, that shit also had nothing to do with me. The idea was always to live my life however I wanted to live it.

I don't say that as some guilt-ridden rationalization for dating white women. There was no rationalization. I grew up how I grew up. I never consciously set out to date white women. My attraction to them was likely a natural response to my environment. The year after the O.J. verdict, my dad was now getting enough money to move his wife and three children to a nice house in a Chicago suburb. Nobody was trying to assimilate with white people, but sometimes that's just the way things go when you want a better home and better schools for your family. But it does have an unforeseen effect on your outlook when you're one of the few black families in town.

Before I was even 10, I started having crushes on girls, trying to get my first kiss, and all of that. All I saw around me were white girls. I thought this girl was hot because of her freckles and I thought that girl was hot because of her soft hair or whatever and I just wasn't in fifth grade thinking about the racial ramifications of features that I found attractive. Other people think about that, though. I was consuming all of this media and I could just sense from the adults around me that, as a black person, when I was watching TRL, it was expected that I be more attracted to the girls in Destiny's Child than Britney Spears.

By middle school, and especially high school, those expectations were even more apparent. I started to see what it really meant to be in an interracial relationship. Sometimes white girls hid me from their family, especially their father. That was normal. I had one girlfriend in high school who strictly forbade doorbell ringing. I'd let her know when I'd be outside. She was not going to go through the trouble of calling attention to the fact that she was going out with a black guy. I can't say that my own mother has never asked, "When are you going to bring home a girl who looks like me?" Running around with white girls comes across as a rejection of your blackness to the women in your family, even though that wasn't the case. To me, it was simple. The girls who showed me the most attention at school were white. The world made it complicated and assumed I had an ulterior motive, and it sucks, but I understand why.

There are self-hating black men who date white women for contrived and pathetic reasons and I hate them. They're so upfront about their exclusive attraction to white women and they'll give you a list of reasons why. It is deliberate for them. They smugly go out of their way to put down black women based on stereotypical notions about their attitude, or hair, or something equally stupid and it's corny and disgusting. That's one of the issues with interracial dating. Any time a black man walks around with a white woman he's giving off the impression that white women are his specific preference and that he has a problem with women of his own race, and because that applies to some black men who date white women, it becomes a label that all of us are subjected to. It's nothing to walk past a random black woman on the street and get a death glare and maybe even overhear something like, "They're taking all of our men." I was out with my white girlfriend at The Graham in East Williamsburg sometime last year and a black woman came up to me and asked me why was I dating a white girl when she can't even get a man. Shit is crazy out here. I promise.

I totally get where black women are coming from, too. Truth be told, it's important to me that they also get where I'm coming from and know that I'm not one of these sellouts who views them as undesirable. But because I know I'm not one of those sellouts, I feel no guilt about dating white women. If anything, I just hate that there's such a vast misconception about my intentions from people who don't even know me. I've been with many black women. But I don't feel obligated to be with them. A lot of white women have been extremely accepting of and loving towards me my entire life and that's all there is to it. Though this very article was written in an attempt to bring context to these consistently misunderstood relationships, I don't have to explain who I date to anyone. The reason why I do anything is because I want to.

I never really think about race while dating unless somebody else makes it an issue or I notice that the way a white woman I'm with looks at something is flawed because of her upbringing. But that's not a dealbreaker. I view it as an opportunity to educate and eradicate even a small amount of ignorance. If I explain some racially complex subtlety of life to my white girlfriend, that's one more white person who knows why using "ghetto" as a pejorative is cringeworthy and offensive. That's one more white person who knows why I'm going to arrogantly list off my academic and professional achievements if some white person asks me if I play basketball. And I do play basketball. But don't assume that that's how the fuck I got by in life because I'm black and tall. And I'm going to go off if you say some dumb shit like that to me. But outside of those situations, I'm not thinking about race like that. I've always just dated women who made sense for me. I've never gone into it thinking, she should be white.

The thing is, I have to consider that while I've hooked up with women of other races, just about all of my girlfriends in life, since I was 13, have been white. What does that even mean? Am I secretly one of those black guys who thinks white women are better and hotter and I'm just not ignorant enough to admit it? I've never gone out of my way to reject black women; I just have way higher success rates with white women. I went to a black high school and I wasn't on any of that thug shit and I'm not saying all black women want thugs, but at my high school, a lot of them did and they didn't really care about me. And that's fine. I wasn't like, "Oh my God, black women don't want me," because I'm not entitled to any woman. But there were white girls at school who were fucking with me and that's who I went with.

Still, I can't help but wonder if I've been brainwashed by the Eurocentric beauty standards that dominate the world. I've had varying degrees of romance with women of most races—beyond the black and white binary. Personality is always decisive, but we know that physical attraction is important. I'm very honestly and legitimately attracted to the features of black women, and Latina women, and Asian women, and Indian women, and any other type of woman, but I definitely like the straight, light hair and fair skin and colored eyes you get with a lot of white women.

It's not like I think that type of beauty is superior, but motherfuckers try to make you feel guilty for being attracted to those types of features at all. Let's be real, blonde hair and blue eyes are fucking attractive and thinking that doesn't mean you're a piece of shit who gives those features inherent value over the features of other races. Rihanna is hot and so is Blake Lively. Lupita N'yongo is hot and so is Allison Williams. Sue me for not allowing my race to limit what I find attractive.

Read the full article on Gawker.

Would You Want a Confession If Your Spouse Cheats on You?

Posted: 08 Jun 2014 03:03 AM PDT


Many marriages have suffered due to extra-marital affairs either by the husband or the wife. This has led to divorce and unresolved differences in many homes. However, some people may be willing to confess to their spouses if they had an extra-marital affair, Saturday PUNCH asked some people whether they would want such a confession or not;



I would rather want her confess to God

Walliyyullah Adigun

If it were by mistake, there is nothing else I would do than to desire a confession. But on a strict note, her confession would not heal the wound she has inflicted on me. Rather, it would add to my injury. And on a religious ground, her confession amounts to nothing if she does not confess to God and repent. In short, I prefer her confession to God and a change of heart. But if she cheated on me intentionally and I do not have peace of mind with her, I would not even need a confession from her. She would need to find her way out of my life.

Her confession would add to my pain

Alamu Adebisi

I would naturally desire a confession, but on the other hand, whether she confesses or not, I would not kill myself over the issue. I believe the most important thing for her to do is genuine repentance. By the way, it would be better for me if I were unaware of her infidelity than to know about it. Her confession to me would even add to my pain. She should just confess to God and pretend to me as if nothing ever happened. If I knew she did it, I may not be able to trust her again. In fact, I do not need her confession.

I do not need her confession

Chukwu Emeka

The entirety of the truth of life remains that if you are stressed, you will get pimples; if you cry, you will get wrinkles; so why not be happy, smile and get dimples? What this means is to keep your confession to yourself and your God. I do not care over such matters. All I want is for her to repent in her privacy and let us continue to enjoy life together. Her confession might hurt me so much that I may not even be able to forgive her and forget about the incident. So, it is better I do not even hear about it at all. If she found it right to cheat on me in secret, she should also find it right to repent in secret.

It would be stupid of her to confess

Salahudeen Opeyemi

Her confession to me would perhaps be the most stupid thing she could do after such an act. Of course, I would accept it and probably forgive her, and move on with my life. But come to think of it, why getting into such an affair in the first place? That is betrayal. But wait a minute, let's not pretend like we're all angels here. Having an extra-marital affair could happen to anyone, even between best friends. It could be prevented, though. But if I find myself crumpled in someone else's sheet, I would not hate myself for it. If it happened to my spouse too, I would not kill her too over it.

I would appreciate her for the 'kind gesture'

Ola Matthew

Hmmm! If she could even be bold to come out and confess her atrocity to me, it really shows I married a woman of integrity and strength, who never cares what could happen to her by her confession. I tell you something, I would appreciate her and forgive her for the 'kind gesture' she has bestowed on me. Please know that there is nothing done that is hidden under the earth. So, it is better for her to confess before she is exposed. However, her confession will not be complete if she does not repent. The beauty of any confession is true repentance. Confession is meaningless without true repentance. Therefore, she should complement her confession by never doing it again because that is the only way I would ever trust her again.

I would want to know why he cheated on me

Oyebiyi Adesewa

No woman would want her husband to cheat on her. But if he cheated on me, I would like to know the reason why he did so. Knowing his motive would bring me more relief than just knowing he did it. If there was something that enticed him to the other woman, then I should be able to do such a thing too so that he would not indulge in it again. So, I would not just want his confession, I would like to know the reason why he did it.

He should keep it to himself

Blessing Peters

Every man cheats, so, whether he comes or not, I may not see him as totally clean. Therefore, I don't want his confession because I don't want to know he does such things. However, his willingness to confess could mean a symbol of love but his escapade will not make me happy, so he should keep it to himself. If he starts telling me without a prior knowledge of what he wants to say, and I'm not in a good mood, he would get me angry and I would react, because ordinarily, I'm not interested in such revelation. But if I'm in a good mood, and he asks for forgiveness, I will forgive him. After realising his mistake, if he goes back into it, then it means he takes me for granted, which is a minus for him.

He should tell me

Sandra Eze

I would like to hear it from my husband that he slept with another woman after he married me. If he tells me, I will forgive him and let the issue pass. I would assume that he realised his mistake and decided to confess, but if I find out by myself from other persons or sources, I will show the girl hell and make my husband realise that what he did was wrong. I cannot fight my husband, so she would be the receiver of my anger. Ordinarily, I know my husband won't chase girls, so I would assume that the girl lured him into it, and I will fight her seriously for that. However, I wish it never happens because infidelity is not a pleasant experience in marriage.

It is better he tells me before I find out

Chidinma Ukoji

If the relationship is strong, reliable and based on trust, I would expect him to share everything that happened with me. If he does that, I will forgive him, we will pray together so that it won't happen again and I will even counsel him because something avoidable would have led to it. On the other hand, if he does not tell me, I will still find out on my own, which is more terrible and not too good for him. If he tells me before I find out, he would have my understanding, but if I find out myself, then he has betrayed the trust I have in him. In his own interest, he should tell me.

It is terrible to hear it from outside

Olawole Kikelomo

I expect him to tell me so that we could handle it as a family. I can even pray with him so we could overcome it together. There should be trust, so if he has betrayed that trust by virtue of his action, he should just say it. It is better he tells me everything that happened before someone else does, so that even if I hear it from outside, it won't be a breaking news. Eventually, I would know, so, he should be truthful enough to let me know. Above all, I would like to know if what I give him at home is not good enough because I would want to understand why he chose to sleep with another woman outside.

#CheatersGetNoLove - Teenager Breaks Up With Cheating Girlfriend on Twitter

Posted: 08 Jun 2014 01:01 AM PDT


17 year old Kane Zipperman from Georgia has become famous after he posted the break-up text exchange between himself and his ex-girlfriend on Twitter. The girl cheated on him with his best friend and Kane decided to get back at her by making their break-up public. The text exchange quickly went viral because he included witty insults and internet memes. I didn't find it funny at all though some people seem to think so. See it after the cut..




Some of Kane's get backs are pretty witty and hilarious, but I can't get past where he threatened her with violence and said he thinks of murdering her family. No, that's not funny!

Kane has gone on to appear on CNN, Yahoo News! and many other high profile media outlets.

What do you think?

Davido, Tiwa Savage, Clarence Peters, Flavor, Win Big at the 2014 MTV African Music Awards

Posted: 08 Jun 2014 12:30 AM PDT


Nigeria was well represented in the roll call for winners at the just concluded MTV Africa Music Awards. Davido took home two awards, for Best Male and Artist of the Year. Tiwa Savage won Best Female Artist. Video director Clarence Peters won two awards – Transform Today by Absolut, and Best Video. Flavor took the Best Live Act. See full list below.



THE WINNERS OF THE 2014 MTV AFRICA MUSIC AWARDS

Best Male: Davido (Nigeria)

Best Female: Tiwa Savage (Nigeria)

Best Group: Mafikizolo (South Africa)

Best New Act: Stanley Enow (Cameroon)

Best Live Act: Flavour (Nigeria)

Best Collaboration: "Y-tjukutja" – Uhuru Ft. Oskido, DJ Bucks, Professor and Yuri Da Cunha (South Africa/Angola)

Best Hip Hop: Sarkodie (Ghana)

Best Alternative: Gangs of Ballet (South Africa)

Best Francophone: Toofan (Togo)

Best Lusophone: Anselmo Ralph (Angola)

Artist of the Year: Davido (Nigeria)

Song of the Year: "Khona" – Mafikizolo ft Uhuru (South Africa)

Best Video: Clarence Peters (Nigeria)

Best Pop: Goldfish (South Africa)

Best International: Pharrell

Personality of the Year: Lupita Nyong'o (Kenya)

MTV Base Leadership Award: Ashish J. Thakkar (Tanzania)

Transform Today Award by Absolut: Clarence Peters (Nigeria)
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