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Thursday, May 8, 2014

Romance Meets Life

Romance Meets Life

#BringBackOurGirls - US Team on Ground, Why Rescue Efforts Have Not Been Successful

Posted: 08 May 2014 04:46 PM PDT

Ibadan Women in red scarves to campaign #bringbackourgirls

There are reports that the United States that will assist their Nigerian military and intelligence experts and now on ground in Nigeria. On Wednesday, President Barack Obama said the team comprised personnel from military, law enforcement and other agencies and said he hoped the kidnapping would galvanise the international community to take action against Boko Haram.

In addition to tweets by Nigerian in Abuja and Borno, see below, United States secretary of state, John Kerry has also confirmed that the US team is in Nigeria and set to start work. The BBC reports Mr. Kerry as saying;

"Our inter-agency team is hitting the ground in Nigeria now and they are going to be working in concert with President Goodluck Jonathan's government to do everything that we possibly can to return these girls to their families and their communities. We are also going to do everything possible to counter the menace of Boko Haram."

Some tweets from eye witnesses;



On CNN, there is also analysis on why all the efforts by the Nigerian government so far have not yielded much results in bringing back the Chibok schoolgirls. The discussion is summarized under the following points;

It's been more than three weeks
The forest borders Cameroon
Location and number of hostages are factors
Nigerian military isn't the most trustworthy
It's also ill-equipped
Boko Haram beheads negotiators
Boko Haram members are always on the move
Shekau is a cold, ruthless monster
The bounty on Shekau's head may not help much

President Jonathan, speaking at the World Economic Forum currently being held in Abuja, has thanked China, the US, the UK and France for their offers of help to rescue the girls. He said the abduction of the Chibok girls could be a turning point in the battle against Boko Haram.

"I believe that the kidnap of these girls will be the beginning of the end of terror in Nigeria," he said.

France announced on Thursday that their way of helping will be to station about 3,000 troops in Nigeria's neighbouring countries. These troops will help countries like Cameroun, Chad and Niger to help tackle Islamist militants in their border regions.

I really hope the support from these countries, when combined with the military's rescue efforts leads to the girls being returned safely to their families. And even more maybe it wall end Boko Haram.

Video Allegedly Showing Boko Haram Killing One Of The Chibok Girls Is Untrue

Posted: 08 May 2014 02:41 PM PDT


The Minister of State for Defence, Musiliu Obanikoro has tweeted some proof that the video allegedly showing Boko Haram members killing one of the missing Chibok schoolgirls is not genuine. The video has been published on several blogs and shows a young girl buried in a sandy hole and stoned to death.

According to the Minister, the video was probably made in Somalia back in 2008 [BBC News]. Please let's be careful what we choose to share on the #bringbackourgirls campaign. The Minister's tweets are below;

Couple Love - Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt Attend Maleficient Screening

Posted: 08 May 2014 02:26 PM PDT


Actress, Angelina Jolie attended a private screening of her latest movie, Disney's Maleficient, with fiance, Brad Pitt. Brad Pitt is also the father of the couple's six children. They look great together, Brad is 50 and Angelina Jolie is 38. Read Angie's interview on their love story HERE.

Jada Pinkett-Smith Defends Daughter Willow Smith After Viral Photo

Posted: 08 May 2014 02:04 PM PDT


Jada Pinkett-Smith has defended her daughter Willow Smith after a photo of the 13 year old in bed with 20-year-old actor Moises Arias went viral. Jada Pinkett has officially spoken about it saying there is no big deal as the photo is 'an expression of art' and 'innocent fun.'


Speaking in a video on TMZ while arriving at LAX airport, she said:
'Here's the deal. There was nothing sexual about that picture of that situation. You guys are projecting your trash onto it … and your acting like covert paedophiles and that's not cool.'

I totally agree with Jada and I think some blog elements probably sensationalized this story. It is obvious there are other people in the room, and from what is out there, the actor Moises, was the initial one who shared the photo on his page. I'm sure he had no such thoughts in his mind as people are now imputing to him.

Another Nigerian-American Wedding? Kenya Moore Pictured With Tonye Cole

Posted: 08 May 2014 01:48 PM PDT


Kenya Moore, one of the stars of the Real Housewives of Atlanta reality TV show,  was recently photographed with billionaire Tonye Cole, a major player in the Nigerian oil industry. A lot the discussion around the picture is that Tonye Cole is Kenya Moores mystery man, her African oil prince that she has frequently referred to on the TV show.


Kenya Moore and Cole were photographed at Harvard University by a fan whose twitter name is ‏@LudaKrys1. Luda posted the picture above on Twitter, stating;

'Just seen Kenya Moore from RHOA in Harvard square w/ her mystery man. He's an old man!! She caught me taking pics lol'

This may be leading up to another high profile American Nigerian wedding like with Kerry Washington and Nnamdi Asomugha. I hope we get to see pictures this time :)

Magazine Covers - Oprah Aging Brilliantly on O!

Posted: 08 May 2014 10:04 AM PDT


Oprah Winfrey shows off her sexy side on the cover of the June issue of O magazine, writing about aging brilliantly. Wearing a red figure-hugging dress, which she describes as "fabulous.", the 60-year-old TV host and media titan says of her latest birthday,



Call me crazy, but I've never really understood our culture's fear of getting older. The way I see it, every year can be a brand new journey. Think about it: You get one chance to be 25 … 38 … 44 … 61 … and every age before and between. Why wouldn't you want to experience all the wonder in each step on?

One day I literally woke up and thought, 'My God, these knees have been with me for 60
years. Wow! I've had these elbows for 60 years. My heart has been beating for 60 years. The feet I stand on have carried me for 60 years.' And when you think about it that way, you can be nothing but grateful"
She sure looks great for 60, and here's wishing her many more years!

Kim Kardashian Worries About Daughter North West Facing Racism

Posted: 08 May 2014 02:27 PM PDT


Kim Kardashian is mom to North West, whom she had with fiance Kanye West and since she became a mom to a mixed race baby, she says she has become more aware of racism and discrimination in America, as well as injustice and cruelty to children around the world.

She shared this on her blog where she would usually talk about fashion, but I guess once one is a mom, there are more important things. Even Kim acknowledged this, writing candidly about how her daughter has changed her outlook on things, saying, "What once seemed so important, now feels insignificant."
Kim Kardashian wrote further;

"To be honest, before I had North, I never really gave racism or discrimination a lot of thought. But recently, I've read and personally experienced some incidents that have sickened me and made me take notice. I realize that racism and discrimination are still alive, and just as hateful and deadly as they ever have been."

"I feel a responsibility as a mother, a public figure, a human being, to do what I can to make sure that not only my child, but all children, don't have to grow up in a world where they are judged by the color of their skin, or their gender, or their sexual orientation."

She goes on: "I want my daughter growing up in a world where love for one another is the most important thing. So the first step I'm taking is to stop pretending like this isn't my issue or my problem, because it is, it's everyone's… because the California teenager who was harassed and killed by his classmates for being gay, the teenage blogger in Pakistan who was shot on her school bus for speaking out in favor of women's rights, the boy in Florida who was wrongly accused of committing a crime and ultimately killed because of the color of his skin, they are all someone's son and someone's daughter and it is our responsibility to give them a voice and speak out for those who can't and hopefully in the process, ensure that hate is something our children never have to see."

Sleep - A Farewell to Complaining by BabaWilly

Posted: 08 May 2014 05:23 AM PDT



Eureka! I have discovered the purpose of sleep! Such a simple revelation that makes you wonder why no one thought of this Nobel Prize winning explanation before. Sleep is designed to give human beings a break from complaining. Finito!


People complain throughout the day setting up turbulent brain waves that can be harmful if continued for twenty four hours nonstop. Quite simply, there is only so much 'why me?', 'am I gaining weight?' or 'nobody loves me' a simple brain can cope with. If brains could open a door by the side of the skull and walk out for a short holiday, many hotels would have brains sat on bar stools, chilling out before they go back to that coconut head they call home. Brains would also take leave when the drugs and alcohol come flooding in. As with the price of houses, the sources of inspiration for complaints depend on three things namely location, location and location. Anywhere people are, they complain about. Most adults will spend most of their time in three main locations which are the work place, the home and asleep in bed. The first two locations may vary for prisoners, students, the hospitalised and those on tour with a rock band, but I am sure you get the general idea.  In summary two thirds of the time is spent complaining about the work place, the spouse and kids (or lack of a spouse) and sometimes the lack of quality sleep the night before.

Now this brings me to my next discovery which is deserving of a second Nobel prize (Isn't everything Double- double for Nigerians?). That is complaining is self -destructive.  A kind of suicide on the slow burner that makes you depressed constantly till it finally stops your heart.



Parable 1

The lions of Serengeti called for applications to fill the post of treasurer. A post made vacant by the sudden demise of lion Tim at the sharp and sturdy horns of a herd of Buffalos. The pay and hours were nice and many applied. In the spirit of equal opportunities, every animal was encouraged to send in a CV from the feathered flamingos to tree faring monkeys. In the end the job went to lion J from a distant herd of beasts and the whole of the Serengeti was awash with murmurings of nepotism and partisanship.

Months later the monkeys and the flamingos caught up with lion J at a popular watering hole and asked him how the job was going. His answer threw them back. 'Those wild beasts know nothing about management or civilised conduct. They are crude, crass and egocentric. They believe they know it all yet are complete fools'. After fifty minutes of non-stop volcanic bile an old wise monkey tapped him on the shoulder and said, 'I suppose you realise that they employed you because they believed you would blend in with the furniture'

'What?'

'They believed that you fitted in with their corporate culture and ethos hence they employed you. They are in other words your mirror. When you talk about them, you talk about yourself' he said.



Parable 2

Mr Monkey Banana aka Mr B had a brilliant business idea and went along with his business plan to see the town's main angel investor who happened to be a relative.

'Iyawo nko. How is Mrs Monkey Banana?'

'Forget that woman. I am here to discuss things that bring money and happiness abeg' was Mr B's reply.

'What has gone wrong?'

'She has no initiative abeg. Hmm. She has a talent for making bad decisions. If she rings me now to say she has just bought something in the market, I can guarantee you that her purchase will be rubbish. She has bad taste and poor judgement'

'Monkey, but she decided to marry you abi?'

'Uncle that is the only good decision she has made in her life' said Monkey.

'I see'

'Uncle, she cannot cook, she cannot dress, she cannot clean the house, she cannot even go two days without breaking a plate or tumbler and after washing up Uncle, the plates are still dirty. Ah- ah! That woman wants to bankrupt me. She has bad luck. Since I married her all my socks have been developing holes. Please, let me not say the one I should not say. Let me tell you about my plans for manufacturing Monkey Banana wine. I feel very passionate about this idea'.

So the power point presentation went ahead. Forty minutes later, Uncle Money Bags was stroking his beard and looking less than convinced about the investment opportunity. Mr Banana decided to help him make up his mind with a customised pep talk. .

'Uncle, I really believed in this project. You will triple you investment in a year. Trust me uncle, I am convinced and totally sold out' said Mr B.

'Yes Monkey, just like you were sold out on Iyawo twelve months ago abi? I am a bit concerned about your judgement. Monkey go home and sleep'

Eureka! My third discovery is this; the reason we say good night at the end of the day is because we all have that Blacked eyed peas feeling of an impending good night. Seven hours free from complaining.  Everybody grab your pillow tight so we can wait up with a refreshed brain and shout 'good morning'. Well the morning stays good till the complaining starts all over again





Babawilly



Dr Wilson Orhiunu

31-3-2014

The Sale and Use of Sex Toys Amongst Nigerians - BattaBox Investigates

Posted: 08 May 2014 03:26 AM PDT


One of the episodes on An African City discussed sex toys and how it is not really available in Africa. However there are a couple of my BBM contacts who sell and promote intimate pleasures using sex toys.

The Battabox team were on the streets of Lagos to find out what ordinary Nigerians thought and it seems nobody is buying it, and many think it's wrong, unafrican, and unbiblical to use them. What has been your experience?

10 Ways to Improve Your Marriage While You're Still Single

Posted: 08 May 2014 12:04 AM PDT


By Paul Carrick Brunson

The best time to work on your marriage is before it even begins. (Yes, really!) If you are single, here are 10 things you can do in the present to prepare for a strong future.


1. Stop Falling In Love With Potential
Having a healthy relationship with your partner means loving them for who stands before you today, not the hope of who they will become tomorrow. Falling in love with potential is a mistake.

2. Love Yourself More
I'm not talking about looking in the mirror and saying, "I look good." Loving yourself is about respecting what you put in your mind, your body and your spirit. The more you love yourself, the more emotionally healthy people you will attract.

3. Get Some Identity Capital
I learned this from an amazing TED Talk by clinical psychologist Meg Jay. She articulates "identity capital" as something that adds value to who you are. It could be an internship, getting your start-up launched, going for that trek around the world — any initiative that builds character will later be desired

4. Work On Your Vulnerability
The bottom line is, you can't love without first being vulnerable. Putting yourself in positions of vulnerability in other areas of your life will help exercise this "muscle."

5. Be Intentional
Approach your love life as intentionally as you do your work. Choose who and what you want in a relationship rather than just making it work with whoever chooses you.

6. Understand Your Personality
The top reason blamed for divorce is money, but that's incorrect, it's actually the inability to problem-solve. Working through issues is solely based on communication skills. Effective communication stems from our personality. In my book, I explain in detail how to determine personality compatibility.

7. Know Your Values
Creating your "values list' is the most important exercise you can do when thinking about compatibility in a partner. Your values are your guiding principles, akin to your personal rulebook. If you try to live with someone who has a different set of rules, it's not going to work. Spend time fully understanding what you value most (and why.)

8. Expand Your Social Circle
Adding what is called "weak ties" (friends of friends of friends) to your social circle is documented as the most effective way to realize new life opportunities, including jobs and a significant other. Focus on expanding your circle now. Here are proven ways to meet someone new.

9. Strengthen Your Belief System
I preach to my clients constantly that our belief is our reality. If you know your belief system (about marriage) needs support, I suggest beginning with monitoring what content you intake (via TV, blogs, etc.) and whom you surround yourself with.

10. Get a Mentor
I can't say enough about the growth that comes from mentorship, whether it's for romance, business or just life in general. If you've looked for a mentor with no success, you're more than welcome to send me an email.


First published on Ebony
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