Romance Meets Life

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• Kate Henshaw Dances, Discusses Love and Work On 'The Juice'
• [Video] Boko Haram Claims Responsibility For Abducted Girls - Threatens to Sell Them
• Nike Oshinowo Shows Off Her Twins Born from a Surrogate Mother
• #bringbackourgirls - Patience Jonathan Please Stop Crying Fake Tears
• Why Are You Reading Motivational Books? by BabaWilly

Kate Henshaw Dances, Discusses Love and Work On 'The Juice' Posted: 05 May 2014 03:44 PM PDT Award winning actress and Nigeria Got Talent Judge, Kate Henshaw was on The Juice couch chatting with Toolz. In a chatty interview with lots of laughter and giggles, Kate talks about her love life, her daughter, work and more. She also displayed some mean skelewu dance steps! She'll certainly be a fun lady to meet :)

[Video] Boko Haram Claims Responsibility For Abducted Girls - Threatens to Sell Them Posted: 05 May 2014 02:58 PM PDT Nigeria's Islamic extremist leader threatened in a videotaped statement seen on Monday to sell the more than 200 teenage schoolgirls abducted from a school in the remote northeast of the country three weeks ago. Abubakar Shekau for the first time also claimed responsibility for the April 15 mass abduction, in a video reviewed by The Associated Press. "I abducted your girls," said the leader of Boko Haram, which means "Western education is sinful. "By Allah, I will sell them in the marketplace," he said in the hour-long video that starts with fighters lofting automatic rifles and shooting in the air as they chant "Allahu akbar!" or "God is great." It was unclear if the video was made before or after reports emerged last week that some of the girls have been forced to marry their abductors - who paid a nominal bride price of $12 - and that others have been carried into neighboring Cameroon and Chad. Those reports could not be verified. An intermediary who has said Boko Haram is ready to negotiate ransoms for the girls also said two of the girls have died of snakebite and about 20 are ill. He said Christians among the girls have been forced to convert to Islam. The man, an Islamic scholar, spoke on condition of anonymity because his position is sensitive. Nigeria's police have said more than 300 girls were abducted. Of that number, 276 remain in captivity and 53 escaped. The mass abduction and the military's failure to rescue the girls and young women has roused national outrage with protests in major cities. Protesters accused President Goodluck Jonathan of being insensitive to the girl's plight. First lady Patience Jonathan fueled anger Monday when a leader of a protest march said she ordered the arrests of two protest leaders, expressed doubts there was any kidnapping and accused the protest leaders of belonging to Boko Haram. It was unclear what authority Mrs. Jonathan would have to give such orders, since there is no office of first lady in the Nigerian constitution. The first lady's office denied there were any arrests. But Saratu Angus Ndirpaya of Chibok town said State Security Service agents drove her and protest leader Naomi Mutah Nyadar to a police station Monday after an all-night meeting at the presidential villa in Abuja, the capital. She said police immediately released her but that Nyadar remains in detention. Deputy Superintendent Daniel Altine, police spokeswoman for Abuja, said she had no information but would investigate. On Sunday night, Jonathan said his administration is doing everything possible. On Friday he created a presidential committee to go to the affected Borno state to work with the community on a strategy for the release. Some girls who have escaped from the mass kidnapping said their captors identified themselves as Boko Haram. via AP News

Nike Oshinowo Shows Off Her Twins Born from a Surrogate Mother Posted: 05 May 2014 03:43 PM PDT Nike Oshinowo showed off her baby twins - Faramade and Abayomi - delivered last October [read Here]on the recent cover of the HELLO! Nigeria magazine. In the cover story, she spoke about how she decided to have her twins via surrogacy and about her former marriage to Dr. Tunde Soleye. Excerpts from the article below... About having children at 48 "This is the only interview I'm going to give about it because my children didn't choose to come into this world or choose to be famous that way. I'm the one who's famous. My children are not famous. I'm hoping they're going to be able to live very normal lives. I'm not supposed to be able to have children. I have endometriosis. I didn't decide it was time, God decided it was time. I think one thing you should know with me is that I'll tell you the truth. If you dare to ask a question, I will answer. The answer might freak you out, but I will answer you as honestly as I can. It can happen to anyone, I'm not special.  I'm very close to my creator, and to be close to your creator, you don't have to go to church or to any special pastor, you just form a one on one relationship with your God. I was out of my marriage, and I was lying in bed, talking to my God "Okay, so, here I am, is this what you want for me? Please tell me the next step. What am I supposed to do now?" and I fell asleep. As I slept, I felt a tug on the bedding and I open my eyes... I'm saying you have a choice to choose. I chose to have my children look like the rest of my family. I chose to have my children look like my cousins, the children of my sister, the children of my brother - all the same colour. I did what I needed to do to make that happen. My children bear Oshinowo. It's a very good surname to have! About her ex-husband The attraction to Dr. Tunde Soleye was his mind. He had and still has amazing mind. I can't really explain it, but I'm not a highly sexual person and I've never been able to be. If you are not, you have to be able to be attracted by other things and he has a phenomenal mind. Don't forget I wasn't 18 or 20 or even twenty-five at the time. I was forty! But I have to say I was very much in love. Was I…guided? More by my heart than my head. Isn't that nice to be sometimes? Am I embarrassed by that? No. Do I regret it? I don't. I'm very grateful to have experienced it. It doesn't happen that often. Would I do it again? Probably not in such a hurry. It took 7 years for me to agree to date him. When I say I wouldn't do it again in a hurry, I meant I wouldn't rush into another marriage in a hurry because all the love in the world is still not enough to sustain a marriage. There are other key components. She also speaks on how she dealt with the pregnancy, the delivery process, their beautiful names, details about the paternity, and more about the future plans. H/t - Bellanaija

#bringbackourgirls - Patience Jonathan Please Stop Crying Fake Tears Posted: 05 May 2014 11:42 AM PDT Nigerian news is making me so heartsick. Almost 300 girls are missing, some may be dead! And how did we end up with people like Goodluck and Patience Jonathan in Aso Rock? I watched the president's media chat where he said journalists know more than he does, and now seeing videos of Patience, "There is God o" because your baseless committee was shunned? What office and power does Patience have to convene such a panel, and why is she usurping the committee already set up by the president? And then the rhetoric! Madame! It's not about you or your husband! Stop shedding crocodile tears and tell your husband to bring back our girls! Patience was not upset about the fate of the girls, she was crying because she wants to exonerate her husband and some people are not paying her the attention she expects she is due. She wants the protests to stop because it brings negative heat on the president. Does she even care about the girls? It's all about her and her husband in her head. Such myopic thinking! Some do not agree with the hashtag #bringbackourgirls and say it should be #rescueourgirls. Others say the Borno State government should be held accountable for the missing girls. IMO, Goodluck is in the best position to account for those girls. Borno is under emergency rule, and the military is in charge of the security in the state. I do not expect Goodluck Jonathan to go into the forest, but surely he is the president and commander in chief of the army that should be spearheading the return of those girls. Call it rescue, call it bring back, we just want the girls returned home and to their families, and the buck stops at the president's table. #bringbackourgirls

Why Are You Reading Motivational Books? by BabaWilly Posted: 05 May 2014 12:21 AM PDT I received a telephone call from Lagos last week. A friend was speaking to me sat in a dark room because there was no light and no fuel for the electricity generator. At the end of the call he had a request. He wanted me to buy a copy of a particular motivational book that had just hit the market. I agreed to grant the request but as soon as I put the phone down I began to ask myself if those books work in Lagos. One would think that having no electricity was motivating enough. These books are written for a first world audience with electricity and running water, in other words people who have voted in officials into power who can deliver on their promises. They are the privileged ones too relaxed to hustle and thus in need of motivation.  How can a man in Lagos in a hot dark room who has been slapping mosquitoes all night tell me he needs an American to 'motivate' him to start hustling?  Proximity to the equator surely means you are primed for action. No bi who e pain go draw bodi near fire? The basic physiological needs of life such as food, water and clean air must be desired and acquired without the aid of a motivational guru. If yu wan die, no breathe na.  Security and housing are also necessities so important that people usually do not rest till these things acquired.  If it itches, scratch it. Reading motivational books is just like watching the Champion's League football. Looking at fit people running themselves into more fitness and wealth does not make you fitter or richer. It is a mere distraction from depressing 'matters on the ground' like a lack of vision or the absence of courage and fortitude. Self-help books are not new.  There used to be this book that I heard so much about in the late 70s; How to approach girls and win their love. I never read it but was tutored by those who did. That book sef was a waste of time. Whether the book has been read or not, once the DJ plays the track, you didn't need motivating to walk across and say 'excuse me dance'. (I wonder who invented that line). In today's world depending on who has your ear, everybody is in need of motivation. Even those doing well could do better. The main stars in the motivational industry are Americans and they have electricity and other comforts that make writing books easier. Now how does one with light know how to motivate one without light? Is motivation trans- cultural? Shouldn't the Nigerians write their own books? Who moved my cheese ke? In Naija? We should be reading Who moved my ewa? Or Na who wan put san-san for mai garri? I know the US hip hop artists make beats that make Naijas dance and Oprah inspires no end but can their guys motivate us? The titles don't resonate ra ra. Chicken soup for the soul is lost in the translation as it lands in Murtala Mohammed international airport. More appropriate would be Pepper soup for the mind (less facts and fat make pomon thick as Eboh bomb will say). Then there is the daddy of them all. Rich Dad, Poor dad. That is rich (excuse pun abeg). Na who papa dem dey call poor? A complete lack of traditional sub Saharan respect. Come to think of it, with the high unemployment rate one would expect titles like Poor dad unemployed dad. Poor dad ritual dad, poor dad 419 dad or poor dad poor dad but I better pass my neighbour by God's grace. Let a naija man write a book in which he calls his father poor in every chapter and he will be surmoned home for a family meeting. He would be accused of biting the fingers that fed him Mr Biggs. The Naija is a hustler abeg. I know this. I get five marriage proposals every day from romantic 419s in search of a mugun to part with his cash. Ehen, when I was last in Lagos, I saw the street vendors selling Think and grow rich by Napoleon Hill. I grabbed my copy, for I need motivating myself and it was a good deal. I have since covered the book with plain brown paper as I do not want to appear desperate. Have you noticed how people crank their necks to read the titles of books or magazines you are holding? I saw this one, the seven habits of highly effective people at Yaba. Hmmm. I didn't buy joor as I knew their habits already. 1. They travelled with police escorts who went ahead of them clearing traffic. 2. They had a chronological age and an official age 3. They were Church or Mosque members by day and Ogboni by night. 4. They had leg in Abuja (Contacts). 5. Their wives and girlfriends never met. 6.  They brush their mouths before using it and flushed the toilets after using it. 7.  They were featured in glossy magazines. There you have it. I don't need an American to tell me the habits of the people I see daily. Notin do mai eyes. There are other ye ye titles too o. How to win friends and influence people –naija answer; brown envelope and if na party spray dem wen they dance. Have the great body you deserve- naija answer; I have that body already.  Rare to see a case of anorexia among the 167 Million people in Naija as we have fitted clothes that conceal or enhance the bulges. Agbada for apku belle and blouse and wrapper for orobo curvaceous beautiful naija babes. Anorexia kini? Eat expensive Chinese food and vomit it out for wetin? When the bill was 18K? Na lie o. Whatever body you have is your dream bodi. If yu no like complexion yu bleach. We don't need books for that. Motivational books cannot courage give. Rather it can become the procrastinator's tranquilising tonic read from the safety of a cosy armchair which is free from risk or danger. The only perilous threat encountered  is that of the £10 book being uninteresting after the third chapter. These imported titles are all like Hollywood block busters or Nollywood hut busters sef. The Quantum leap strategy ke? Bros, abeg fashie that one and go for anointing service jare as power must change hands and your miracle will locate you. The power of positive thinking for where? Power of focus when power no dey? Secrets of the millionaire mind abi? All these books are written by people who have obeyed the 10,000 hours rule of hustle. They have practiced their art for 10,000 hours and are now unconsciously competent at what they do.  They have paid their dues over the years but now need a new holiday home and have written a book for muguns to buy. There is definitely a place for apprenticeships at the feet of wise people who have gone before, but even in an apprenticeship you arrive at the place of work before oga arrives and wash his car. You don't roll over in bed and expect the guru to come and wake you up. You stand by the guru's side and watch the guru labour all night and you learn the meeting of sleepless nights first hand. Speaker positions at motivational conferences are the rewards of successful risk taking. That is why they get paid and you pay to get in. They have the courage and you experience the cash haemorrhage. While they clean up, you get pumped up. These conferences are pure entertainment, no different from going to the circus or watching a dance act. People even request signed copies of books afterwards. If that is not show biz hero worship then what is? Even the Bible teaches that Joshua was told by God to BE COURAGEOUS. Read the Bible, meditate on it day and night but be courageous No book helps you overcome that inertia you have derived from the fear of failure or help you see the hidden opportunities within your grasp. This is why TED talks have an advantage. The speakers who have achieved something give talks that are both inspirational and instructional. You get tips on how to go out and make your ideas happen. No idle dreaming. Yes, the world belongs to dreamers but only to those who wake up early after the dreaming session and hustle. Ted events are better than talk shows. Say you watch Elon Musk on aTed talk, objection insights into how his mind works will be on show. On a talk show however they will probably interview his wife, show the kids and soon everyone gets emotional, entertained and inspired without learning anything they can apply to their lives. Anyway, if a naija man is stood in the sun and needs a motivational book to know he should buy an umbrella or seek shade under a tree or perhaps buy a car, then he is beyond redemption. In a land that can devour its inhabitants from time to time, being unmotivated can be a risk to your life whether you know the richest man in Babylon or not. Babawilly Dr Wilson Orhiunu 4/4/2014

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