Romance Meets Life |
- What is Your Definition of Infidelity?
- Single and Lonely? 4 People To Avoid Temporary Hookups With
- How To Keep The Love and Romance Strong in Your Relationship
- 7 Common Yet Complicated Vagina Problems Every Woman Faces
- Book Review - The Land of Honey By Chinenye Obiajulu
- Just to Make it Extra Special, He Proposed on Her Graduation Day
- Nigerian Bride Price Calculator - How Much Should Your Man Pay To Marry You?
| What is Your Definition of Infidelity? Posted: 27 May 2014 12:06 AM PDT  In our culture it is commonly accepted that once a relationship becomes monogamous – our partner is the main focus of our love, affection and attention and the only person we have a sexual relationship with. This is what the majority of people are looking for and also the general expectation once a connection has been established without it ever having to be openly discussed or agreed upon. Infidelity When we say someone has cheated we automatically think that they have been sexually intimate with someone outside their main, monogamous relationship. It doesn't have to be a full-blown affair to be classed as infidelity - a one night stand or even sexual contact that doesn't lead to penetrative sex are also classed as infidelity. The intention of the person committing the act is what generally damages the relationship. If they are getting hot and steamy with someone else the chances are that they are not fully committed to their partner and this can lead to feelings of hurt, betrayal and a lack of trust in the future. Even within an open relationship, infidelity may arise if a partner in the relationship acts outside of the understood boundaries of that relationship. Emotional infidelity A lot of people say that they could forgive and accept a one off physical act of infidelity more easily than they could their partner developing a deep emotional connection with another person, especially if that person is of the opposite sex and there is a chance that the emotional intimacy could develop into a sexual relationship. This will often be perceived as a threat to the relationship whereas a close intimate relationship with someone of the same sex will usually be accepted. We all have friends and the line where a friendship with someone of the opposite sex crosses into emotional infidelity is usually when one's partner begins to channel emotional resources, such as romantic love, time, and attention, on someone else. This doesn't necessarily have to be in person. With modern technology it is possible for someone to develop a deep emotional connection with someone outside the relationship without ever meeting the person. Are you cheating? If you have been accused of cheating but feel it is unfair because you haven't done anything wrong - in that you haven't slept with anyone – take a step back and look at your connections with people outside of your main relationship. Are you giving more time, attention or affection to someone other than your partner? When you are with your mates who do you tell anecdotes about? If you are in emotional pain or have a problem who is your first port of call? Are you sexually attracted to someone else, even if you never intend to act on it, because you are committed to your partner? Do you spend hours on the internet talking to someone else? If many of your needs are being met outside of your relationship then it is understandable that your partner will feel insecure. Verbal reassurance often doesn't work because 80% of communication is non-verbal and your partner will pick up on the fact that your attention is elsewhere and will be hurt if, for example, you know every detail about your platonic friend on Facebook but can't remember your partner's birthday. Be honest. If you are not committed to the relationship say so and if you are committed then make sure the lion's share of your time and attention is given to your partner. Just like a plant will die if it isn't watered, a relationship won't thrive without adequate time, love and attention. Are you being cheated on? If you feel like you are being cheated but are repeatedly told that you are being paranoid, jealous, controlling or neurotic because there is nothing going on, it is time to stand back and take a good look at yourself first. Have you been like this in other relationships? Were you hurt in the past and are now looking for evidence that it is happening again? Do you feel inadequate or that your partner is too good for you and will go off with someone better suited? Are you in need of constant reassurance because something traumatic happened, like a bereavement, and your partner seems to have disappeared, the more you need them the further away they seem to be? If any of the above are true for you then it's time to do something about it – see our article on 'How to dump your emotional baggage'. If none of the above are the case it is time to have a heart to heart with your partner and find out if they are committed to you - if not you deserve to be with someone who is. via eHarmony _________ Read More Posts; How to Tighten the Vagina and Keep Away Bad Smells - http://www.romancemeetslife.com/2013/08/how-to-tighten-vagina-and-keep-away-any.html My Confession on Dencia's Whitenicious - http://www.romancemeetslife.com/2014/01/my-confession-on-dencias-whitenicious.html 10 Personality Traits in Women That Men Want - http://www.romancemeetslife.com/2013/07/10-personality-traits-in-women-that-men.html Non Verbal Ways to Tell If A Guy Actually Loves You - http://www.romancemeetslife.com/2013/05/non-verbal-ways-to-tell-if-guy-actually.html Introduction to New Nollywood: 15 Must Watch Nigerian Movies - http://www.romancemeetslife.com/2013/12/introduction-to-new-nollywood-15.html An Easy Way to Soften Naturally Kinky Hair - http://www.romancemeetslife.com/2013/04/an-easy-way-to-soften-naturally-kinky.html What to Do When Your Man Needs Some Space - http://www.romancemeetslife.com/2013/10/what-to-do-when-your-man-needs-some.html Short Story: Love Sex and Other Things - http://www.romancemeetslife.com/2013/07/short-story-love-sex-and-other-things.html |
| Single and Lonely? 4 People To Avoid Temporary Hookups With Posted: 26 May 2014 11:06 AM PDT  Most of us have been single at one point or the other, and more importantly, we have felt that loneliness that makes being single that much harder. No matter how beautiful one is, loneliness does not discriminate, especially when all around you all you seem to see are couples in love and weddings every weekend. Being single and knowing you're at the point where you want someone to share your life with is nothing to be ashamed of. But you might regret it if you allow those temporary feelings of indiscriminate need to lead you to hookup with someone you really, really shouldn't. These are the four types of people you should try not to hookup with when you're single and lonely; 1. The First Guy That Asks You Out This is a classic case of settling. You've beed alone for so long that any one begins to look good. Some justify this by the saying, "If the desirable is not available, then make the available desirable. Please, this may work with fruits and food but not partners. If this guy does not meet your usual standards, do not have a fling with him not even by telling yourself it's only temporary. 2. Your Neighbour or Flatmate When you're single and lonely, the tendency is that you spend a good amount of time at home, and it is likely you notice that guy in the apartment across from yours who looks single too. If you are a student, it gets worse if the person is sharing the same apartment and you all have to sit around the living room watching TV together. That you both like Law and Order SVU is enough for a lifetime. When your differences drive you apart, you may not be able to move out, and can you imagine the awkwardness? 3. A Colleague at work This is assuming you have a job where you're trying to build a career. Please do not muddy the waters by hooking up with any of your colleagues. This may lead to your coworkers gossipping about you two, the person might have loose lips and make fun of you afterwards. What you definitely don't want at all costs is to be sacked by HR or have to leave a cushy job over a fling gone wrong. 4. A Platonic Male Friend Starting a romantic relationship with a platonic male friend will complicate everything, especially if they can tell your heart is not really in it. For one you don't want to mess up what could be a great lifetime of support and cheer when your romance tapers off. |
| How To Keep The Love and Romance Strong in Your Relationship Posted: 26 May 2014 07:03 AM PDT  It's a common complaint, one that too many people panic at, and think incorrectly that it means the relationship is failing. "The magic just isn't there anymore." "He's not the man I fell in love with." "When we first dated, my heart beat faster when I saw her. Not anymore." The common theme in all of these is that things between the two of you just aren't amazing as they used to be. It's not the end of the world, and it is definitely a problem that can be fixed. Using the tips below, you can fix these issues before they become something bigger. a] Keep kissing. Studies show that couples in failing relationships stop kissing each other on the lips long before they stop having sex. In many ways, kissing is much more intimate than sex. b] Do little things for each other. Give her a foot rub after a long day at work. Buy him tickets to a sports game, and pretend you enjoy watching sweaty men run around a field wih a ball. The little ways you show you appreciate each other add up, and will bring the romance back into your life. c] Get away from all other distractions. Rent a hotel room for a couple nights, or find a cheap getaway cruise for three nights. Chances are, you were just too stressed and distracted to fully appreciate your loved one, and time away from work and duties will remind you of what's important. d] If you need help, seek it. If these things aren't doing it, there's still no reason to become a divorce statistic unless there is truly no other way. Talk to your religious leader, go to a professional counselor, do whatever you need. e] You will always regret a failed relationship if you don't truly believe you did whatever you could to fix the problems. If he or she is important enough to you, you will do whatever it takes to make things work. Don't give up! There is always hope. Source ________ Top Relationship articles 1. How to get your man or boyfriend to love kissing - Do you often ask, how can i get my husband to love kissing and engage in it? 2. 9 Ways to Know When you're in Love - There are some people you meet and you just know they're a fantasy, and there are those that tug at your heart and you begin to wonder, could they be THE ONE? 3. Do you believe in love at first sight - Supposedly, more men believe in and experience love at first sight than women. 4. How to Keep Love Alive - Keeping the love alive is an active choice and sure isn't the easy option but it certainly is the most rewarding. Here are seven suggestions to keep the love alive in your relationship. 5. How to Express Love to your Woman - Sometime ago on Facebook, someone shared on how express love to your husband. This is my own version of how to express love to your wife. 6. Loving the One who Loves you Back - This is the typical nice guy, he won't rush to jump your bones, or to define a romantic relationship. He only showers you with attention and affection. 7. How to have a Lasting Online Romance - Online romance gives you the control, you can decide when and how to reveal any type of information. You can also completely back off at any time. 8. Love Languages: What is Yours? - how do you want your partner to show love to you. There is even a book called the five languages of love. |
| 7 Common Yet Complicated Vagina Problems Every Woman Faces Posted: 27 May 2014 02:34 AM PDT  Every day, women everywhere are betrayed by their vaginas with "normal," pain-in-the-ass issues that interrupt our sex lives, social lives, and just our ease of existence in general. Like many women have experienced, I woke up one day with some weird itching and burning in the land down under and knew that it was the beginning of the dreaded yeast infection. Before I high-tailed my ass to the doctor, I opted to try a three-day over-the-counter, injectable cream that made me feel like I was a toddler walking around with a load in my diaper, and since then, it's been one problem after the next (all for which I've consulted professionals). Here are seven common vagina problems that, in my opinion, deserve their own support groups and pocket manuals. 1. The Yeast Infection: I love yeast when it's in beer and bread, but not when it's overpopulating my vagina. Sometimes it burns, as if you shoved hot sauce-covered fingers up there, and other times you find yourself escaping to dark corners and conference rooms just so you can itch your vulva in private. Don't get me started on the discharge. Things the manual should tell us: Don't take baths, sleep without underwear, don't have sex, do eat plain yogurt, wash your hands often and prepare for a mess. Read - Herbal Remedies For Yeast Infections 2. The Bacterial Infection: There are several types of bacterial infections that can occur in the vagina, but the most common symptom is a smelly, cloudy discharge, which is really just lovely. This happens when there's not enough "good" bacteria in your vagina, and too much "bad" bacteria. Things the manual should tell us: Don't douche, don't have sex and do see a doctor so they can give you antibiotics. Read - How to Take Care of the Vagina 3. The Urinary Tract Infection: Have you ever had someone shove a large needle up your peehole while you're trying to urinate? No? Then you wouldn't know what a Urinary Tract Infection feels like, and you should thank your lucky stars. If a UTI is bad, sometimes it even hurts to walk and move, but you might as well live on the toilet anyway, because you'll have an urge to pee every four minutes even though no urine comes out. Things the manual should tell us: Go to a doctor ASAP, drink as much cranberry juice and water as you can, take a warm bath and ALWAYS pee right after you have sex. Always. Read - How to Stop Bad Smells in the Vagina 4. The Ingrown/Infected Hair: Shaving and waxing your vagina is all fine and dandy until you have an ingrown hair on your labia the size of an acorn. There are glands down there that can easily get blocked and become infected with any interruption to the pores, including infected hair follicles. Once a hair becomes ingrown and/or infected, puss builds up inside and HURTS like hell. Things the manual should tell us: Always use shaving gel, don't try and squeeze/pop the area, soak in warm baths, pat the area with warm compresses, and only if the said hair is visible, try and pull the it out with tweezers. 5. The PMS Period Pain: PMS is a fickle bitch. Sometimes you have one sole cramp whose pain is equivalent to the aftermath of eating a large breakfast burrito, and other times your body's way of telling you that your period is coming is by making you feel like your uterus wants to fall out of your vagina. While some people I know don't experience any vaginal pain with PMS, it does happen and it sucks. Things the manual should tell us: Try taking Midol or any kind of anti-inflammatory to ease the discomfort, take a warm bath, exercise as much as you don't want to and Godspeed. This will happen again next month. 6. STIs/STDs: Obviously, this (and all of these ailments) should not be taken lightly. Not only is this physically uncomfortable and/or painful, but thinking you might have an STD or STI is equally as petrifying (even if you turn out to be fine). Whether you've got some very suspect sores, patchy skin, a weird cluster of bumps or some really funky discharge, it's the waiting to see a doctor part (or getting your results) that can be the worst. Things the manual should tell us: Don't have unprotected sex or any sex at all before you see a doctor (which should be immediately), and no matter what you do, do NOT look up your symptoms on WebMD, because it will probably tell you you're dying. 7. Cysts: They happen internally and externally, and may or may not hurt. But when they do … well, it sucks. Sometimes, if the cyst is benign, you can just leave it there and it may go away on its own, but in cases where it's uncomfortable or may be malignant, your doctor may suggest removal or drainage. Think of a large, painful pimple that hasn't yet come to a head, but it still hurts like a bitch. Now think of that on your labia. Ouch. Things the manual should tell us: Apply a warm compress to the area if possible, don't squeeze or touch it, see a doctor so they can rule out serious conditions. Via TheFrisky |
| Book Review - The Land of Honey By Chinenye Obiajulu Posted: 26 May 2014 02:47 AM PDT  I was quite motivated to get into 'The of Land of Honey' by Chinenye Obiajulu after reading from the blurb that it was about the life of recent Nigerian immigrants to Canada, since I haven't come across much writing about this. And it turned out to be a very enjoyable read. When I choose the books I read, I like to take in the experiences of people from different backgrounds who live in different countries under differing circumstances. This means that when I come across writing that deals with an experience that I don't see often in print, then I am especially keen to read it - even (and probably, especially) if I am familiar with the experience. There were two things in particular I liked about the book. The first was that it was very realistic. Zimako and Anuli, the two main characters were painted neither as perfect angels or demons; instead, they were shown to be very fallible human beings whose flaws were magnified as they came to grips with the very tough situation they had to deal with abroad. This also held true for the portrayals of the people and the situations that the couple encountered. Seeing a mix of the good and the bad, the happy and the sad times made their experiences much more three-dimensional to me. Then, having also gone through the experience of being a recent immigrant in a Western country, a lot of what I read felt very familiar, and that resonated with me. The second thing I liked was the depth in which many of the characters were described. The author could have just concentrated on the couple and sketched out the other characters as cardboard cut-outs, but she spent time showing us the playfulness of Zimako's brother and the romance of Anuli's friend. And the time she spent painting a detailed picture of Zimako and Anuli, both as individuals and as a loving couple who were going through hard times made me want to cheer for them and find out whether their relationship would survive. I liked that the author did a good job of describing life in Nigeria prior to the couple's immigration, although I personally felt that since the book was about the immigrant experience, I would have preferred to see less of this in the book, and more of their life in Canada. I also felt that in between chapters, there were jumps that missed out important events that I would have liked to have been described in more detail. But these didn't really detract from my overall enjoyment of the book, and I would certainly recommend it to anyone who wants an engaging portait of the new life of a Nigerian in the diaspora. Atala Disclosure - RML received a free copy of this book for review. -------------- About the Book The Land of Honey By Chinenye Obiajulu A near-miss armed robbery attack by night makes Zimako decide enough is enough. Even though he and Anuli, his wife, are successful professionals in Nigeria, they abandon the familiar for safer shores in Edmonton, Canada. The trials of settling down in their new life set their values and plans askew as they make compromises that may be their "Waterloo." Anuli is a twenty-eight-year-old finance executive; she is unstoppable when she puts her mind to a task. Ambitious and single-minded, she is at heart an endearingly traditional woman who trusts her husband to make the big decisions. She is from a close-knit family and is the apple of her father's eye. She is one of those women who is beautiful and appears to have it all. You want to hate her, yet you are irresistibly drawn to her. Zimako is a thirty-six-year-old IT engineer with a successful career, currently working with a privately owned construction firm that had headhunted him from a multinational conglomerate corporation. He defines himself by his success and sets high goals for himself. In Nigeria, he is well respected in his field. His father is a traditional African chief, and Zimako believes the mark of success is being the protector and breadwinner for his family. Anuli and Zimako have always been the couple to watch. At their traditional wedding, he promised to cherish her and she vowed to submit to him and nurture him. The passion between them sizzles, and they can't keep their hands off each other. They love each other almost as much as they love God and agree on almost everything such that they seem to be telepathic. But loving is easy when the going is good. When challenges arise, can they overcome the uphill obstacles to triumph? When life in Canada throws curveballs their way, their coping mechanisms differ dramatically. Anuli takes a never-say-die approach, and shows herself willing to retrain to gain the qualifications that may get her a foot in the door. Admirably, she takes on a job as a data entry clerk to help her understand life in the Canadian workplace and earn an income to buffer their dwindling finances. Zimako rigidly stays true to the plans they made in Nigeria to find jobs related to their professions and resents Anuli's flexibility, seeing it as an affront to his role as head of the family. Anuli builds a network of dependable friends, and Ryan, a classmate of hers, becomes attracted to her beauty and unassuming intelligence. He is a shoulder to cry on when things at home begin to unravel, and Anuli is tempted by his generous, affable, and amorous advances, especially when he makes her an offer that's hard to resist. In his frustration, Zimako takes to debauchery and finds succour in Kelly, the temptress, who is his ultimate downfall. When the couple leaves Nigeria, Canada seems so full of promise; it is going to be the land of milk and honey. But the reality is different. The subtle racism, the hope of jobs that don't materialise, the smoke and mirrors to stop friends and family at home from worrying, and the financial strain take its toll on our golden couple. They begin to argue, they stop communicating, and the passion between them fizzles out, and Zimako dumps Anuli. Anuli shows strength of character as she applies herself at work, excels in school, maintains her network of friends, and soldiers on, hoping against all odds that fortune will soon smile at her. Just when she thinks her luck is about to change, she begins to experience dizzy spells and exhaustion. A visit to the doctor reveals a life-changing diagnosis that causes her to reassess her life. Zimako is at a turning point in his own life. But Anuli's life has moved on…what happens to Anuli and Zimako is anyone's guess. Find out! Buy on Amazon - The Land of Honey  |
| Just to Make it Extra Special, He Proposed on Her Graduation Day Posted: 26 May 2014 12:03 AM PDT  This is the season for graduations and Victor, a Nigerian guy in the United States decided to add one more reason why his girlfriend will never forget the day she graduated. His girlfriend Tannisha certainly wasn't expecting to see her boyfriend on one knee on her graduation day. Victor had it all planned out and his sister took the pictures of the couple's special moment. Tannisha said YES….See more lovely photos of the surprise proposal below. Victor's sister shared the pictures on Instagram with the caption 'Before the big surprise engagement, we celebrated Tannisha's graduation. She looks so beautiful and we are very proud of her accomplishments! M.Ed never looked so good. Beauty, brains, and personality to boot! A humble woman of God. Ms T, I salute you! @_t_nic0le #congrats #graduation #weloveu' Congrats to the couple!         Via WDN |
| Nigerian Bride Price Calculator - How Much Should Your Man Pay To Marry You? Posted: 26 May 2014 01:45 AM PDT  Are you married? About to get married? If you are a Nigerian, you will understand how important the bride price is whenever marriage is on the cards. As a man, do you wonder how much you need to pay to your in-laws? As a woman, do you want o know how much you're worth? There's now an app for that! This bride price calculator determines the answers to your questions from timely and very relevant indicators, weighted by perceived and actual monetary value. Are your bowlegs sexy like Beyonce's, or more like JJ Okocha's? That might add or subtract upwards of N100,000 from your bride worth. Are your teeth white or brown, gapped or not? Any big or small tribal marks? Any degrees, Masters or PhD?? You'll be surprised how this one is weighted. Long story short, I answered mine with Atala to keep me honest and vain, and this is what we came up with. I've told him he's owning me quite a bundle. My Umunna can keep their N500, I certainly know what I can do with N1.7 Million.  Want to find out yours? Go to http://www.brideprice.com.ng/ Make sure to read the disclaimer below... LOL...  |
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