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Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Romance Meets Life

Romance Meets Life

To The Culture Police - Stop Bullying Married Women To Change Their Name

Posted: 05 Mar 2014 08:26 PM PST


I saw the interview a day late and had to laugh at the answers Chimamanda Adichie, a woman after my heart, gave to the Sun newspaper interviewers as she lent her voice to gender equality. See, men don't HAVE to change their names after marriage, yet some Nigerians won't let a married woman rest. These Nigerian journalists wanted to do oversabi for Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie and got it served to them. (Read full interview here)


When one of the commenters on her blog post, here, said answering Mrs does not imply a submissive wive or a happy marriage, fellow blogger Thelma asked, "if it doesn't imply anything; if there's no reason behind this particular action [of changing names or taking the Mrs title], then why not just answer the husband's name?"

So I had to throw the question back at Thelma, if we agree that taking the title Mrs, or changing to your husband's last name], then why not just call a married woman by the name she has always been known to you by? This question also goes especially to the journalists who kept on drilling and almost bullying Chimamanda to change her name going as far as calling her Mrs. Adichie, which is so wrong.

So all those faux culture police, it's not by force to answer Mrs. or one's husband's name, and there's no achievement. Since answering Mrs. does not signify you have a happy marriage, why not simply continue answering the name you have always been called and known by?

I know a lot of Nigerian women who will fight anyone who dares to leave out their title meanwhile, they will also fight with their husband when they get home. Next you hear they're separated and their husband moved in with another woman, and they're still answering Mrs. SMH...

Note to all - Ask a married woman what she prefers to be called and if she has decided not to take her husband's name, call her what she asks. Some women change their names, some DON'T. Some change it for legal reasons, and prefer to remain known, socially, by their maiden names. Deal with it.

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Photo via contactmusic.com taken April 2008.
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