Romance Meets Life |
- Mommy Time - Mercy Johnson Takes Baby Purity Along For Business Meeting
- Man Cheats on His Wife and Needs 10,000 Facebook Likes To Get Her Back
- Blast From The Past - Nnamdi Azikiwe's White Wedding To Miss Flora Ogoegbunam
- Kate Henshaw's Book Presentation to the First Lady of Cross River State
- Couple Love - Peter Okoye and Lola Omotayo Set Wedding Date For November
- 7. The Red Flags I Overlooked Before my Abusive Marriage - One Woman's Domestic Violence Story
- 6. How I Became A Different Person as an Abused Woman - One Woman's Domestic Violence Story
- 5. The Beginning of The Nightmare - One Woman's Domestic Violence Story
- #BossLadies - Waje, Chee and Omawumi, The Nigerian Ladies of Song
- Chinese Woman Arrested for Slapping Kneeling Boyfriend - Domestic Violence is Never OK
| Mommy Time - Mercy Johnson Takes Baby Purity Along For Business Meeting Posted: 09 Oct 2013 05:05 PM PDT  Mercy Johnson Okojie, in a recent picture where she's carrying her daughter Purity, mentioned that she was at the Bank of Industry for a 'small meeting' probably for business endorsement. Mercy returned to work after having her baby back in December 2012, and if these pictures are anything to go by, she seems to be a hands-on working mother. All the best to Mercy with the meeting. See full pictures below...   |
| Man Cheats on His Wife and Needs 10,000 Facebook Likes To Get Her Back Posted: 09 Oct 2013 04:05 PM PDT  Ivan Lewis was only married to his wife Sonya Gore for less than a year before he began cheating on her. 10 months into their marriage, the couple separated based on his serial cheating. Back in September, Ivan wrote on Facebook proposing marriage again, saying that he wanted her back. On her agreement that she would take him back if he got more than 10,000 "likes", he posted this picture on Facebook. Below is the timeline of the saga. First Ivan Lewis pops his second proposal, Post by Ivan Lewis. Then he posts the picture; Post by Ivan Lewis. He gets his 10,000 Likes, but is yet to get her back; Post by Ivan Lewis. Actually, Sonya Gore says she was the author of the note, not Lewis. In fact, she says she was with him at his computer when he posted the admission on his page. According to Newsone, "I wrote the post out myself," she said. "Before he posted the post up, he asked me to marry him again on Facebook and I'm like 'Well, if you want to put that on Facebook then you need to say that you cheated and put that on Facebook.'" So what do you think, will she go back to him? If you ask me, this is not the best way to stop this sort of serial cheater from doing it again, I don't think such are even be publicly humiliated. Or maybe Sonya Gore is just embarrassing her husband and still intends to divorce him anyway. |
| Blast From The Past - Nnamdi Azikiwe's White Wedding To Miss Flora Ogoegbunam Posted: 09 Oct 2013 04:05 PM PDT  Nnamdi Azikiwe married his first wife Flora Ogboegbunam in 1936 when he was 32 years. The wedding was held in James Town, Accra, Ghana where Nnamdi Azikiwe was working as the editor of African Morning Post at that time. Flora died in 1983 while Nnamdi died in 1996. Between them, they had one daughter and three sons. For those who may not know, Nnamdi Azikiwe, or Zik as he was popularly called, was one of the founding fathers of Nigeria, the head of state of Nigeria from 1960 to 1966 - Governor-General from 1960 to 1963 and President from 1963 to 1966. See another picture of Zik and Flora HERE, and more background info of their family. We often don't know much about our historical past so I love pictures that depict more than words ever can. It seems that the 1930s in Africa and Nigeria was more western than I imagined. Hmm... |
| Kate Henshaw's Book Presentation to the First Lady of Cross River State Posted: 09 Oct 2013 02:53 PM PDT  Kate Henshaw is from Cross River State, and to further promote her recently launched book [see pictures], Kate visited with the first Lady, Mrs. Obioma Liyel Imoke and had a small book presentation. A friend was wondering if Kate Henshaw wrote the book with the help of a ghost writer, but I later got to find out that it is a pictorial book, made up of mostly photos from Kate's life as an actress through the years. Congrats again to her.  |
| Couple Love - Peter Okoye and Lola Omotayo Set Wedding Date For November Posted: 09 Oct 2013 10:19 AM PDT  Peter Okoye of P-Square proposed to Lola Omotayo, the mother of his two children and his long time partner a couple of months ago [see pictures]. The news is that the couple have now fixed their traditional wedding date for November 17, while the church wedding will hold next year. According to NigeriaFilms, "Peter and Lola will be having their traditional marriage on November 17, 2013 at Arc Events Centre, Lagos. Their white wedding will hold at a later date in 2014. This was also confirmed to Nigeriafilms.com by a representative of P-Square, when contacted." All the best to Peter and Lola as they plan the events. |
| 7. The Red Flags I Overlooked Before my Abusive Marriage - One Woman's Domestic Violence Story Posted: 09 Oct 2013 06:10 PM PDT  My name is Omalinze Okonkwo. I am a 33 year old Nigerian woman, who fled to the US to get away from a violently abusive husband/marriage. It had been hell, pretty much from day one of our 10 year marriage, with lots of hospitalizations and two separations in between. And it was ALL forms of abuse, from physical to emotional to psychological to mental to financial. This is the story of how I left, it was not and has not been easy, but I'm glad I'm free. I call them the pre-commitment signals, other people may call them red flags. All the signs were there but I somehow ignored them or thought I could deal with it. Even though we had a long distance relationship, he had shown some traits that should have stopped me cold in my tracks. These traits were, 1. Uncontrollable rage: When we were "dating", he was on indefinite suspension from work for many months. I would sometimes text him airtime for his phone from my meager earnings as a model and he would call me and rain abuses on me for hours. Or he would give me hell, if he called and I wasn't at school. I also remember a time I had come to Lagos to attend a wedding with him. After the wedding, he couldn't pull his car out immediately because some other car was trying to navigate out of a tight corner. He put his head out of the window and cursed the man out and the man responded in kind. In a split second, he had bounded out of the car, grabbed the man out of his car, and "jacked" him high into the air slamming him onto his bonnet. I was sitting in stunned silence and couldn't speak till we got back to his place. 2. Anxious for quick involvement: When his parents decided it was time for him to marry, they went to my parents to ask for my hand. Then they started to badger me till I eventually gave in. I did remember asking my mom two questions: 1) why couldn't he ask me himself? 2) What on earth was all the hurry? Eventually, I asked him about it and he said he didn't need to ask me. It made me VERY uncomfortable but my mom convinced me that it didn't matter. Eventually, I agreed and he tried to get the closest date which kind of freaked me out because I thought there had to be something wrong with him. 3. Emotional abuse: All physical abuse ALWAYS starts with verbal abuse as well as emotional and psychological abuse. Mine did. After my traditional wedding, I noticed that he would shut down when I disobeyed him. He would just withdraw all communication and contact while I ran around to placate him. And it would remain that way until I did what he wanted in the first place. Or he would pick on sensitive sore subjects and insult me within an inch of my life till I broke down in tears. For instance, I failed out of medical school and didn't graduate with my mates. It was something I was intensely ashamed of as I was a brilliant girl. He would taunt me about it, telling me how I was never going to amount to anything, that I couldn't even get the simplest job except as a house help or tired hooker. I would weep for days, unable to believe the things that he said to me. And I actually started believing him. He would get into my head; saying that I should be grateful I had him because no one would love me like he did and that since I was so flawed , it was his love for me that made him point out my many flaws. Eventually I became numb to his taunts but not the head games. I actually felt I was deserving of the punishment because I wasn't a good wife. 4. Externalization of Responsibility: He would always shift the blame for his actions to external factors - one morning, I was getting my son ready for school while my husband dressed for work. When he asked me for his belt and I told him that I didn't know, I got punched in the left side of my head, right there in front of my eighteen month old. To this day, I have partial vision in my left eye. When he got home from work, his only reaction was that I should know better than to annoy him because he was stressed at work. 4. Minimization of his Actions: He never EVER takes responsibility and if he is cornered into accepting, he always makes light of the situation. In the beginning, he would apologize for ever laying a hand on me but also say that I made him do it. As time passed, he would say that he didn't hit me, he only "flung" me. Or he would ask "Why do you need to be in the hospital because of this little thing? I've done more than this to you before". This was when I'd ask him to move his car from behind my car so I could drive to the hospital. 5. Emotional deadness: My husband is a beautiful man. Six feet, Four inches, glowing ebony skin, whisky-colored eyes and a smile that could melt any heart. But, the deadness in those eyes is chilling especially when he's smiling. One time, he took a swing at my head and I was screaming at him to be careful as I was 10weeks pregnant. He looked me dead in the eye, head butted me and kicked me repeatedly in the stomach saying that I and the baby belonged to him and he would do whatever he wanted with us. The next morning, while I was at work I started bleeding and lost the baby before I got to the hospital. That was the first of two pregnancies I lost because of him. He would say that he wasn't wired to feel anything. 6. Manipulation: The most dangerous tactic he employed was that of confusion, distortion and lies. A lot of people have told me that they have read me wrong because of how my husband portrayed me as a crazy, demonic person. He has even had me questioning if some of the incidents really happened the way I told them or if his version was the truth. He has said that I was delusional and needed to be institutionalized because I was making up stories about him hitting me. 7. Isolation: He slowly but surely kept me isolated so no one knew what was happening. I had a friend then who stood up to him. Her name was O.g. and he couldn't stand her. He kept saying that he didn't want her around me cos she was a slut and would influence me negatively. He generally made her uncomfortable till she stopped coming or calling. He had to be the one to choose my friends and could approve or dissaprove of my friends in the twinkling of an eye. I remember one time, a friend of mine Lizzie who lived in the UK came to see me with her Caucasian fiancee. He didn't even acknowledge them and I was mortified. Later, as I was planning to travel for the traditional he said I wasn't to go cos she was a slut for marrying a white man and I was forbidden to have anything to do with her. He even had his mom and elderly aunties summon me to one of the numerous panels which he headed and I was berated for daring to associate with anyone without my husband's consent. I never saw or spoke to Lizzie and her hubby even though they lived in Lagos. Gradually, because of how he embarrassed me and my friends, I let all my relationships die a natural death. Part 1 - How I Got the Courage to Leave Part 2 - How I Met my Abusive Husband Part 3 - A Fatal Kind of Attraction Part 4 - My Attempts to Leave or Separate 5. The Beginning of The Nightmare 6. How I Became A Different Person as an Abused Woman 7. The Red Flags I Overlooked Before my Abusive Marriage _______________ Myne's note - October is Domestic Violence awareness month and Oma thinks this was a great time to share her story and reach out to other women for support and also to encourage others to speak out or take action. Over the next few days, you'll read more of Oma's story. Names, Dates and Places have been changed to protect Oma and her children. Oma is currently in need of help, financial and otherwise and if you're able to, please contact me at myne@mynewhitman.com. We're trying to work as quickly as possible for the safety of Oma and her ability to keep her children. |
| 6. How I Became A Different Person as an Abused Woman - One Woman's Domestic Violence Story Posted: 09 Oct 2013 05:00 PM PDT My name is Omalinze Okonkwo. I am a 33 year old Nigerian woman, who fled to the US to get away from a violently abusive husband/marriage. It had been hell, pretty much from day one of our 10 year marriage, with lots of hospitalizations and two separations in between. And it was ALL forms of abuse, from physical to emotional to psychological to mental to financial. This is the story of how I left, it was not and has not been easy, but I'm glad I'm free. I became a different person while I was in my abusive marriage and I didn't like that person. I was always depressed and ashamed. I stopped taking care of myself and would be seen in oversize T shirts and baggy jeans with unkempt hair and no make-up. I couldn't sleep and was tired all the time. I lost my faith and stopped praying to a God who I believed had abandoned me. I avoided people and fluctuated between general emotional numbness and over-emotional crying bouts. I thought constantly about killing myself and would literally pull my son to my chest to remind me of why I had to live.I withdrew into myself to shield myself from scrutiny and pain. I started drinking heavily to numb the intensity of the pain till alcohol became like water. On Valentine's night, 2011 as I cried beside my sleeping children while I drank an entire bottle of Absolut Vodka without even getting high, I resolved then to end the cycle and claw my way out of the darkness. This cycle has to end with me. It has to end with us. The cycle has to be broken by the women of our generation. We have to teach our sons to respect the females around them ESPECIALLY the ones who have made them the custodians of their bodies and hearts. We must teach our daughters to walk away from ANY appearance of abuse and disrespect; to believe in and love themselves SO that they know the difference between *true love and unhealthy bonds*. If u were to read my "letter to my daughter" again, a few things would start to make more sense. Our parents have failed us...they have failed us by raising a generation of young men who run around beating , maiming and killing women. They failed us by letting us women to enable this sort of behaviour by allowing ourselves to be disrespected by these men. And we must lend a hand, an ear, a shoulder to any woman who is in distress. We have that female intuition so the excuse that "I didn't know" does not count. If she gets the strength to walk away ,applaud her and walk beside her and behind her. If she still is unable to for some reason, keep your judgemental opinions to yourselves and just let her know that you're available even if it just for her to vent. Don't push but be supportive. Empathy, sisters! It is a man's world so the mantle falls on us. These women are not strangers. They are your sisters. They are your neighbours. They are your friends, colleagues, next-door-neighbours. They are the woman you see while dropping of your kids at school, your prayer-partner in church, the woman who sells pepper to you every Saturday. They are YOU!! My journey to healing is not over. In fact,I'm only just beginning. I'm finding myself and enjoying my kids.I'm slowly but surely finding my way back to HIM ,trusting that He will give me Beauty for ashes.But I'm no longer going to be a victim to him or anyone else. This I promise MYSELF! Part 1 - How I Got the Courage to Leave Part 2 - How I Met my Abusive Husband Part 3 - A Fatal Kind of Attraction Part 4 - My Attempts to Leave or Separate 5. The Beginning of The Nightmare 6. How I Became A Different Person as an Abused Woman 7. The Red Flags I Overlooked Before my Abusive Marriage _______________ Myne's note - October is Domestic Violence awareness month and Oma thinks this was a great time to share her story and reach out to other women for support and also to encourage others to speak out or take action. Over the next few days, you'll read more of Oma's story. Names, Dates and Places have been changed to protect Oma and her children. Oma is currently in need of help, financial and otherwise and if you're able to, please contact me at myne@mynewhitman.com. We're trying to work as quickly as possible for the safety of Oma and her ability to keep her children. |
| 5. The Beginning of The Nightmare - One Woman's Domestic Violence Story Posted: 09 Oct 2013 06:09 PM PDT My name is Omalinze Okonkwo. I am a 33 year old Nigerian woman, who fled to the US to get away from a violently abusive husband/marriage. It had been hell, pretty much from day one of our 10 year marriage, with lots of hospitalizations and two separations in between. And it was ALL forms of abuse, from physical to emotional to psychological to mental to financial. This is the story of how I left, it was not and has not been easy, but I'm glad I'm free. The abuse started with emotional abuse when we were about to get married . We had an unspoken agreement that we would get married and had started planning our traditional and church wedding around my 23rd birthday. I got a taste of his cruelty when I was at his place one weekend. Next thing, I knew, he was telling me that his mom had changed everything from the colors I had chosen down to who was to be on my train although we had previously finalized venue and general logistics. I remember saying, "Please explain". His response was, "There's nothing to explain. My mom has chosen and that's that." I objected and he got up and walked out. When he came back late in the night, he didn't say a word to me for the entire weekend. He wouldn't look at me or touch me. All he did was watch TV or make wedding preparations with his mom or discuss me with her on the phone while I sat in tearful silence. This sort of behavior became normal for us. It was so bad that I and my friends had to fast for the entire week so that he would be in a good mood. On the day of my traditional, his mom was upset to see that I hadn't done my hair and dress according to her directives. So, she went crying to her son saying that I had disrespected her and my punishment began. He didn't speak to me except when people were watching. And his mom and her friends/cousins all joined together in the cold war all throughout the entire ceremony. I was inconsolable as I was about to leave with him but people thought it was the expected "traditional crying" of a new bride leaving her father's house. And true to form, he and his entire family did not utter a word to me throughout the mandatory three-day stay at his village. I wept all through and so did my cousin who accompanied me. Eventually, on the day I was to leave, I was summoned to the living room where himself, his mom and elderly aunties had gathered for a "meeting". These meetings were to become a normal occurrence throughout my marriage. I was accused of disrespecting his mom and invariably his aunties. I knelt through the entire ordeal and was made to apologize on my knees to each of them and finally my husband. That was how I began my life as a married woman. Pretty much the same thing happened during the church wedding. I had much let them have their way with planning the wedding but I insisted on getting my hair done at my hairstylist .As usual, he got upset that I disobeyed him and was so livid he almost attacked my hairdresser. Because he had threatened to deal with me if I was late, I had rushed to the church without a drop of make-up. He gave me the cold shoulder throughout the ceremony and was even screaming at me just before the reception, when my friend tried to put on some make-up for me. On our wedding night, the stony silence continued and only ended the following day at yet another panel with me apologizing to over six people on my knees. The stony silences gradually worsened to verbal abuse. A year later, when I was six months pregnant, things got physical. I hadn't been sleeping well and we had guests that kept me up at night with loud music and laughter. So, after many days of sleepless nights, I decided to go to my friend, Uzo's house to nap for a bit. I had told him the night before so imagine my surprise when he sprung up, shouting "Where do you think you are going?" and knocked my bag to the floor as I tell him bye. I stare open-mouthed at him then bent to pick up my bag; I told him where I was headed. He retorted that I wasn't going anywhere and as I opened my mouth to ask why, he slapped me so hard I flew across the kitchen. As I screamed and ran into the dining room locking the door, he kicked down the door and hauled me kicking and screaming back to our bedroom, saying he was going to teach me to "obey without question". He threw me on the bed, tore off my clothes and started to hit me. All I could think of was my baby so I tried to protect my stomach the best I could. He only stopped when someone (I don't know if it was the guest or the neighbours) burst in, pulled him off me and threw a blanket over my whimpering, naked pregnant form. I stayed that way for hours, unable to understand what had just happened. Later that night, he came to me, crying. From that day, each "punishment" was worse than the previous. And he always apologized with expensive gifts and sweet, tender love-making. After a while, the gifts stopped coming and the beatings more dangerous. I was in love with this man but he was slowly killing me. That first day he beat me, he had bought a set of yellow, white and rose-gold bangles and a bottle of my favorite yoghurt. As he cried, apologizing, I started crying again asking him over and over again "Ike, so you hit me?" He kept saying he was sorry and that he didn't know what came over him. He was actually extremely tender as he cleaned me up with a wet wash-cloth and held me till I fell asleep. For a few days after, he was sweet and charming and attentive but before the week was up, he went back to being cruel. Part 1 - How I Got the Courage to Leave Part 2 - How I Met my Abusive Husband Part 3 - A Fatal Kind of Attraction Part 4 - My Attempts to Leave or Separate 5. The Beginning of The Nightmare 6. How I Became A Different Person as an Abused Woman 7. The Red Flags I Overlooked Before my Abusive Marriage _______________ Myne's note - October is Domestic Violence awareness month and Oma thinks this was a great time to share her story and reach out to other women for support and also to encourage others to speak out or take action. Over the next few days, you'll read more of Oma's story. Names, Dates and Places have been changed to protect Oma and her children. Oma is currently in need of help, financial and otherwise and if you're able to, please contact me at myne@mynewhitman.com. We're trying to work as quickly as possible for the safety of Oma and her ability to keep her children. |
| #BossLadies - Waje, Chee and Omawumi, The Nigerian Ladies of Song Posted: 09 Oct 2013 01:00 AM PDT  The three ladies, Waje, Chee, and Omawumi, all well known and loved for their beautiful songs and thrilling performances in music posed for this picture, shared by Waje on Instagram yesterday. Kudos to them for setting this example that women can work together, even when they're in the same industry, and one as competitive as music. |
| Chinese Woman Arrested for Slapping Kneeling Boyfriend - Domestic Violence is Never OK Posted: 09 Oct 2013 12:07 AM PDT  I finally saw the video of this young woman repeatedly slapping her kneeling boyfriend on the street in Hong Kong went viral yesterday. On Nairaland where I first saw the pictures, some people seemed to be jubilating, and even the title made it seem like it was some girl power kinda stunts. No it is not. Domestic violence is never OK, whether it is a man or a woman dishing it. See video below. Funny enough, it was women who later intervened, none of the men spoke up. I wonder why. The 20-year-old woman was arrested for assaulting the 23-year-old man as Kowloon City police continue to investigate the matter. The disagreement was sparked when it emerged the boyfriend had bought another woman home (possibly the other woman in the video – a sister, or friend). He denied the accusation in the clip, claiming there was a misunderstanding. He pleads with the other woman to speak up and says "listen to me first before beating me… I told her not to come". |
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